If it was another child being persued by a predatory older man, would you tell her she should be ashamed of herself?
Or would you tell him he should?
I once read something in a book about childhood sexual abuse and it involved a thought experiment about whether it would ever be the child's fault. It involved the teenage girl approaching her father (or other older man) in her underwear, seductively propositioning him. It wondered whose fault it would be, if the man was tempted.
The answer was that the adult has the maturity and responsibility that the child doesn't, and if he was decent, he would sit the girl down and say something along the lines of 'I care about you, but this is something that you should save for when you are older, and you have found a boyfriend to share this experience with as equals.' he should then encourage her to go and get dressed. This affirms that he still cares about her, she doesn't need to be ashamed of her feelings, but it's not appropriate to act on them.
This is the kind of guidance you deserved, and it isn't what happened because he was willing to take advantage of your naivete for his own enjoyment. The wife chose to blame you as an intruder rather than upset her own world by accepting that she had married a sexual predator.
Something else that I found is that shame is like something physical and after sexual abuse occurs (which is what this is, you were under the age of consent) somebody has to take it. The predator? Nah, they'll do anything not to feel guilty. If you speak to them, they're always full of excuses. But the already vulnerable victim? They are often filled with an intrinsic shame, because no one else was going to take that shame, so they had to.
That shame needs to be pushed back to where it belongs. Squarely on his head.