to move my daughter to a local school because she won't get out of bed in the morning?

[papayasareyum]

She's 14.
She loves school and has lots of friends there. We decided to send her to a village school which is 11 miles away. It's a lovely small high school with excellent results and reputation, unlike the large local high school. She has to get a school bus just before 8 in the morning. She just won't get up though without constant nagging, bribing, cajoling, arguing and then screaming. She calls me names and is generally horrible. (Her behaviour lately is shocking: name calling, mean to her sisters and zero respect)
If she misses the bus, there's no other way to get to school. So I end up driving her. It's a 60 minute round trip! I work from home, but have seen a few tempting jobs recently and not bothered applying because I know that the regular occasions I have to drive a stroppy 14 year old to school will piss off any employer as it will make me late for work.
She's in year 9, so I could move her to our local school, which is a 10 minute walk from home. If she refuses to get up, she'll be late. But no need to drive her in. (she's not bothered on the occasions I can't or won't drive her in, attendance doesn't bother her)
Do I move her? Would that be unreasonable? I'm sick of the impact that her screaming and refusing to be up in time has on the rest of us. It's averaging at about 3 times a week. Every week. I'm drained. She doesn't want to move to the new school, but I'm not sure I can cope with another 2.5 years of this before and finishes school and year 9 is the last opportunity to move her before GCSEs.
I've threatened to move her and she just says that she'll refuse to go and we can't make her!

[followTheyellowbrickRoad]

Could you get one of her friends to phone and get her up? It worked for my son. Hes like a snail in the morning. But for the last couple of weeks his friend has been phoning him in the morning so he gets there early and they can have a kick around.

[IamFriedSpam]

Is it actually safe/practical to cycle though? Some country roads can be pretty hair raising on a bicycle particularly if you're not a cyclist usually.

[papayasareyum]

cycling isn't really viable. The route is national speed limit country roads with hairpin bends, potholes and idiot drivers. I don't even like driving it nevermind cycling it!

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Could a friend call round for her in the morning (anyone else go on the bus from near where you are?) She might get ready for a peer more than for you/herself?

[callmeadoctor]

Is it possible to look at the actual wakening part of the day? Really good loud alarm that keeps going off? Getting to bed at a reasonable hour (no electronics from an hour before) Definitely no mobile phone in bed. Stripping bed covers off her if not up after 5 mins?

[AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered]

I agree with itsmine - yes, it's annoying being whinged at but you'e the parent here, you need to be strict and enforce the rules to the letter.

[LillianGish]

Oh and point out that education is a privilege and that a lot of teenagers around the world walk a lot further than 11 miles to school My teenage son was utterly inspired by his African maths teacher who used to walk 11 kilometres to school every day and then 11 kilometres home. Hearing his story and how he had to work really hard to eventually become a teacher and how he now goes back to the town where he grew up and has helped to fund numerous schools which are now named after him has transformed his attitude to his own education. I realise not every child can have such an inspirational role model, but I have been quite amazed by the effect this has had on my son. Not much help for your DD - I would tell her she gets herself to school or you are moving her. And stop driving her in when she misses the bus. At 14 she is old enough to take responsibility to get herself to school and you do her no favours by allowing her to shirk it. The vast majority of 14 year olds get to school under their own steam every day and many of them have to leave home before 8am.

[MsJudgemental]

She is 14 and needs to sort herself out. Tell her you will no longer be driving her to school and enlist the support of the school in giving her a bollocking for not turning up. Remove all technology and give her a list of chores to complete. She needs to learn the consequences of her actions.

[SEsofty]

Agree that seems like more than just getting up. Hows her behaviour in other areas of her life!

[lljkk]

Drive her but charge her was my thought. 22 miles is £5.50 in my car, for fuel+wear and tear. Plus an hour of your time which is worth at least £10... but just round the lot down to £10 each time. Out of any budget she thinks is hers.

15yo DD is asking what does she have to wake her up in the morning? DD has a load of different alarms going off. The alarms have to be across the bedroom.

[MistressMolecules]

I would move her, give her the option to sort herself out but if that doesn't work then she goes to the nearer school.

[maddiemookins16mum]

Who at 14 wants to be moved to a new school. That is the last result, please dont.

[hmcAsWas]

There are two new girls who have started Y10 at my dd's school this academic year. Both are quite happy.

[58NotBothered]

You mean you haven´t brought her up to have a good morning routine?
She may not be a morning person, my mother never was, but you are her mother and you need to ensure she learns that routine, aged 14, 5 or whatever.
What time does she need to get up in order to be ready?
For example: Bus at 08:15
Shower/wash 15 minutes
Dressing 10 minutes
Breakfast 30 minutes
Get up at 07:00 to have a few minutes' "grace"

[58NotBothered]

Oh and to add, if she needs to be up at 07:00, she needs to be in bed at a reasonable hour, too. Depending on how much sleep she requires.

[papayasareyum]

Lol Dixie, that's what I thought too!
I knew I forgot to teach her something, the art of being a morning person

[WeddingsAreStressful]

Well, yes, you did forget to teach her something. At 14, I wasn't the most pleasant person, but I never would have dared be late to school. My parents would have gone through the roof. So you have taught her there are no consequences for her behaviour. If anything, her behaviour is being rewarded by a nice cushy drive!!!!

[papayasareyum]

well that's me told, thanks for the constructive judgment, I mean criticism

[papayasareyum]

and just to add that
A) I do go "through the roof" and
B) nope, I'm not perfect

[GeorgeTheHamster]

It may be possible (depends on your router) to block her laptop from the wifi at a certain time each evening. Then you only need to worry about getting her phone off her so she can't use mobile internet?

11 miles is too far to cycle surely.

Cans he give any solutions herself when she is calm?