To not go to this wedding (camping in the rain)

[Raisinbrain]

We're supposed to be going to a wedding on Saturday. It's a beach wedding (we're not in the UK) in a national park and we're supposed to be camping. It's a five hour drive to get there and we have an 11 year old and a very active, hard work 16 month old.
The weather forecast is looking dreadful, very heavy rain all week.
We haven't been camping for a couple of years, we have a new tent but we don't have a lot of gear, just the basics. The children don't have waterproof shoes or clothes. We live in a flat and don't have any outdoor space at home to dry a wet tent.
The wedding is a very casual bring-your-own-food-and-drink type thing with not very many guests as we're all expats. They're friends in our circle who we've never spent time with outside group get togethers.
We're skint and can't afford alternative accommodation nearby.
Would it be awful of us to cancel at such late notice?

Remember the 'Stiff upper lip', by Jove you must attend not.

Bin it off. Bout of tummy flu for the whole family? Can you offer to have them over for a meal afterwards so you can see the photos?

How long ago did you accept?

Did none of this occur to you when you were first invited?

Fuck that! I'd not go either!
And I'd probably make up some bug....but send a nice boozy gift!

Can you borrow or rent a camper van?

They must have a rain back-up plan?

I got stuck camping in awful weather once, after three days everything was soaked through so we went home. I decided then to never, never go camping again.

If you told them the problems you're facing are they the type to jump in with solutions (Bill's got loads of spare children's waterproofs, Jill can put your tent to dry at hers, phill can lend you camping gear) and would you be happy if they solved the biggest issues? Just for you to think about when you decide how/what to tell them!

From the type of wedding it doesn't sound like it would be a huge cost to them if you cancel, the situation sounds pretty horrible (and I like camping!), drying a wet tent can be a nightmare if you've no space (i live in a flat so mine either freaks out the rest of my building if it's not raining or goes to my friend who had a garden and space indoors if it's still raining)

Camping in March?! Sounds great for young or hearty adults. Honestly, just tell them you've decided that the travelling and camping is not suitable for a 16 month old, you're really sorry you can't make it. I'm sure they'll understand . I expect they were probably surprised you accepted.

No yanbu, it sounds so miserable and a huge faff. So they expect people to feed themselveS, sleep in a tent, and cart all that stuff to a 'wedding'. I would make an excuse and not go. However knowing the setup why did you accept?

Definitely not unreasonable

What is unreasonable or at least unclear is why you said yes in the first place. Sounds horrific

Sod that for a game of soldiers. I would not be going. I'd never have accepted in the first place though, I fucking hate camping.

YANBU. I can't think of anything worse than camping in the rain with two DCs for a wedding on the beach and I usually like camping and weddings

I've camped at weddings and was quite happy about it. Even went to one with our (then) 1yo which turned rainy. Not a problem (I like camping).

HOWEVER, a five hour drive plus heavy rain plus b&g that you aren't particularly great friends with? I'd dodge it TBH. Especially if you aren't set up with wet weather gear for the kids and can't afford to buy it.

I always hate weddings
But I'm wondering why this never occurred to you when you said yes
That said, they won't lose £ I guess but if there are mass drop outs....?

Check with them if they're still actually going ahead? If the weather is that bad they may postpone it

I think it is terribly unreasonable to drop out of a small wedding at short notice.

It is a bit poor to drop out last minute, things like that really take the shine off of a special event.

I hate it when people agree to something and then drop out last minute even though they agreed to the exact thing they are now complaining about

Sorry to sound negative OP, but I remember a couple of people who didn't attend our wedding last minute and I know one of them was a lie about the reason, as she stupidly quoted on facebook that she was in the cinema. It really made me realise how close were actually werent

Yeah, if it's a small wedding you WILL be missed.

Speak to them, there may be a plan B in the pipelines, if you "call in sick" you won't be able to go to the planB wedding if one is being discussed.

It sounds like a fucking woeful way to spend a weekend but you accepted the invitation. It is rude and unkind to pull out now, whether they lose money or not.

It doesn't sound like my idea of fun but, having accepted, I really do think it's bad form to drop out at such short notice, unfortunately.

I think it is terribly unreasonable to drop out of a small wedding at short notice.

This, although I do sympathise.

Are you in NZ?

It sounds my idea of hell. But it's a bit mean to cancel if you've already accepted the invitation. But people should think twice about having these mad arrangements. The idea is to have fun not to torture guests. Really on second thoughts pull out.

I'd go. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think it will be. Surely there'll be some sort of contingency plan?

Could you not just go for one night, and the kids sleep in the car next to the (small) tent?