To not go to this wedding (camping in the rain)

[Raisinbrain]

We're supposed to be going to a wedding on Saturday. It's a beach wedding (we're not in the UK) in a national park and we're supposed to be camping. It's a five hour drive to get there and we have an 11 year old and a very active, hard work 16 month old.
The weather forecast is looking dreadful, very heavy rain all week.
We haven't been camping for a couple of years, we have a new tent but we don't have a lot of gear, just the basics. The children don't have waterproof shoes or clothes. We live in a flat and don't have any outdoor space at home to dry a wet tent.
The wedding is a very casual bring-your-own-food-and-drink type thing with not very many guests as we're all expats. They're friends in our circle who we've never spent time with outside group get togethers.
We're skint and can't afford alternative accommodation nearby.
Would it be awful of us to cancel at such late notice?

It's too late to drop out, you should have thought about the logistics before accepting.

Come on, it's a wedding. There's no way you can drop out with just a few days to go.

"The idea is to have fun not to torture guests."

I think you should grit your teeth and go, sorry. I do think an active 16 month old is likely to be a lot less stressful while camping than at other times - sod bedtime, sod the routine, child is runnign constantly from 5.30am but you have to do less about it, you get lightly tipsy from breakfast onwards and it all seems a bit easier. I just ignore nutrition while camping, apart from the odd banana I focus on bacon sandwiches, camp stew and crisps. Also surely at least some of the time there will be other parents and kids there? Couldn't that be quite relaxing?

Could you borrow some wellies and waterproof trou for the kids? Otherwise, the less gear you take, the less to get wet.

If the forecast is truely rain all weekend (like, non stop) then sack it of.

Don't go. You could stuck it up as a pair of adults, maybe, but it's irresponsible to take kids camping in bad weather without proper equipment and experience.

Don't be wimps. The time to bail was when the invite came in.

Go to the supermarket, buy the kids some cheap wellies and waterproofs. Take lots of chocolate and snacks.

It does sound a bit grim but the kids will probably have fun regardless.

You really can't drop out now unless someone is genuinely ill.

I'd cancel, but I'm flaky at the best of times.

Do the children have to attend with you? I'd cancel because of the 16 month old but if I could arrange childcare for DCs then I'd suck it up and go.

It does sound monumentally awful but yes, it would be pretty shit to bail now. Sorry.

I'd love it but if it's not for you then pull out. No point being miserable

If you all know each other as a group, can you send a plea out for any spare gear/wet weather clothes etc. If it's a small group, your absence will be very noticeable and it's late notice. I think your kids will love it regardless of the weather.

It does sound monumentally awful but yes, it would be pretty shit to bail now. Sorry

Yep. It'll all turn out way more fun that you expect. Go prepped, have the right attitude and have fun celebrating their day.

I think you need to go, sorry. Small wedding, you'll be missed, and if a few others skip it too (which surely is likely) it could really spoil it.

Weather may turn out to be better than forecast, and even bad weather will bring out the blitz spirit. You might enjoy it more than you think. Can you stretch to supermarket or cheap-shoe-shop wellies for the kids?

or borrow stuff

I agree that you should probably go. Wellies, all in one waterproofs and borrow a gazebo (pref with sides) to pitch between your car and tent so that you've a dry spot to sit/play in.

Camping & weddings together at the same time ... sounds like my worst kind of a nightmare. However, I think that if you have said you will go then you should. It would be rude to back out now.

I'm afraid you've made your blow-up bed and should lie in it.

I don't think you can cancel, because good weather was never guaranteed.

Is there a local village hall where you could stay with a sleeping bag? A discounted place to stay on Air B&B or Lastminute.com? A youth hostel?

if you knew the situation why say yes in the first place-camping with a baby?

Camping is my idea of hell on earth. A caravan yes, but not a tent, fuck that. And not with a child and a baby! Don't know what country you're in, but an outside wedding in MARCH? (Is it Spain btw?)

Why the hell could they not have had the thing much closer to home? Why must people get married 100's and 100's of miles from where they live? (Or even 1000's?!) Or is this where they live?

It's very poor form to pull out though, especially as it's so small. You could make up a sixth of the guests! And as someone said already, why did you not say no sooner, knowing what it was going to be?

But yeah, I agree that this is not an enjoyable wedding.... expecting you to bring your own food, sticking you in a tent, expecting you to travel 5 hours.

I think you should suck it up and go, as you have said yes, and the wedding is so close...... But it's your call...

BTW, I hate weddings too. Used to love them, but I hate them now and dread being invited. It was such a relief to not be invited to the wedding of our neighbour's son; it was 8 hours drive away, so we would have had travel costs as well as hotel costs. (As well as money as they were asking people for money, and potentially new outfits.) We assumed we may be invited, as the neighbour kept gabbling on about it, and told us how much we would love 'said town where it's being held!' But we weren't invited, thank God.

I think it would be bad not to go, imagine if everyone does that because of the forecast?? I think get through it and try to see the funny side.

I think it is a big ask ti invite people to a wedding a 5 hour drive away, where the guests have to camp. Surely the bride and groom would realise that something like this is so weather dependent?

That said, I think pulling out a few days beforehand when there will be so few guests there is a bit mean. What if everyone did this?

I hate camping but in the circumstances I think it would be pretty pants and hurtful to cancel at such short notice. A small wedding, expats etc, bride and groom probably already worried people might cancel due to weather...

Nope I think you need to go and try and make the best of it, as others have said ask around to borrow gear.

I would go with fingers crossed that bride and groom might be making special emergency arrangements (an extra, enormous marquee, hot showers etc.) and would hope that the other guests have a great sense of bonhomie.
Even if you have to pack the tent up wet you can always dry it out in a local park when the weather's better (and have a picnic it for extra fun).
It could just be that you all have a great time and a fantastic memory to look back on.

This sounds like the type of wedding the bride and groom arrange thinking they're doing everyone a favour because no-one pays for a hotel so it's "cheap". But if course they forget about the petrol money and cost of specialist equipment you're unlikely to ever get out of the cupboard again. It's all very cool and bohemian until someone stumbles into someone else's poo trench in the dark.

I hate camping so would never have agreed to this in the first place nevermind the distance, weather, 11 year old and baby being thrown into the mix. But if they're very good friends of yours they're going to be incredibly disappointed and hurt if you don't go without a really good reason. If you value the friendship I think you have to honour the commitment you made when you RSVP'ed.