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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secondary school lunch box police

148 replies

LemonDrizzleDisco · 01/03/2017 06:24

DDs secondary school has started checking all the packed lunches at registration.
I know lots of secondary school students but sweets and chocolate etc on the way to school but surely at that age It's their choice.

Dd was told off for having too much in her lunch box.

Peanut butter sandwich with brown bread
A small banana
Strawberries
A few grapes
And less than a handful of raisins and dried coconut flakes.

The canteen serves things like sausages and mash ,cake and custard,sandwiches and doughnuts etc. Aibu to think this is unfair ?

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonDrizzleDisco · 01/03/2017 16:53

Thank you all for the responses

Dd didn't misunderstand what was said yesterday.

I called the school and told the reception staff I wanted to find out was said about DDs lunch and they called me back to tell me what the form tutor said.
I haven't spoken to the form tutor or head of year yet as I wanted time to think about what to say.

There was lunch inspection today and no comments were made about DDs lunch, I was tempted to send her in with some avocado again to see what would happen but didn't.

Above poster,dd gets all the vitamins she needs including b12 and has never had any problems after years of being vegan.

Should I write a strongly worded note or speak to the head of year/senior member of staff?

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 01/03/2017 17:03

If schools want to police lunch boxes in a bid to promote healthy eating then they need to train their staff properly. Especially in a high school.

A friend of mine had a row with the school after they removed hummus and guacamole (both homemade) and breadsticks from her DD, who is seriously limited by allergies, and sent her a note telling her that "dunkable type dips are not a suitable lunch". They gave the DD macaroni cheese instead.

youarenotkiddingme · 01/03/2017 17:07

I think they also forget lots of teenage children in secondary school walk to school (1-2 miles), then home again and also do PE a few times a week and many do sports after school too.

My Ds walks the last mile to school, he has break at 11 and lunch at 1. He eats the carbs/protein at 11 and veg sticks at 1. He then walk 1-2 miles home depending on my work hours. Today it's 2 miles. He's just had tuna pasta and an apple and will train at swimming pool 6-7.
He then has protein and more fruit/veg after. He also had PE today.

Yes, at 12 yo he will eat more today than I will. But I'll only do half hour excercise this evening compared to him.
School are obviously not thinking properly about healthy eating as part of a whole lifestyle choice.

Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump · 01/03/2017 17:07

I'm a form tutor and much to my shame couldn't even tell you which kids have sandwiches ConfusedBlushI can't believe schools have the time to do this... the only time I would actually care would be if I suspected a child had no dinner money/ brought a very meager lunch from home. Then I'd be acting out of concern.

OurBlanche · 01/03/2017 17:18

If/when you speak to them again ask them this one question:

"As DD is vegan, what do you suggest she eat in order to ensure adequate uptake of vitamins ADE and K?"

If there answer does not include something as 'loaded' with fat as that avocado, tell them to fuck off!

If they are going to moan about 'fatty' foods they absolutely must know about fat soluble vitamins. Basically, you know you are right, tutor is wrong, so don't change and keep challenging!

Unrulymacaroon1 · 01/03/2017 17:25

not sure how old your DD is but that seems ridiculous to me, my son is 5 & very skinny & would be starving if that was all he had for lunch, he eats a lot of food but runs it all off. I'm dreading the pack lunch police when he gets older I'm sure I will end up arguing with them

terrylene · 01/03/2017 17:44

My kids used to have a box with a decent sandwich (varied), a packet of value crisps, kit kat and an apple and a bottle of water (refilled). It had to survive the cycle ride/walk to school, hot weather, fit in the bag with all the books and not be too heavy.

No way would it pass the mad lunch police of today. What is the point of micromanaging a single meal that has to fit so many other requirements. It is just something to get you through the day between breakfast and dinner. It is the whole day and lifestyle that come together, not an individual bit of food in one lunch box.

Mine used to get a good evening meal with plenty veg at home and none of them had a weight problem. No snacks and junk between meals - plenty fruit and bananas. I was plagued with people telling me I was too thin as a youngster and would have found so many opinions on my lunch to be a very negative influence. I just ate what I was given and really enjoyed my food (still do Grin )

That sounds like a really good lunch to me. I would definitely challenge the school on why they are doing this and what the basis for decisions is and what qualifications they all have in nutrition.

I would have thought the biggest problem would be the ones who skip meals entirely and the ones who have crisps and pop and chocolate.

Original poster
LemonDrizzleDisco · 01/03/2017 18:21

Help me write a letter to DDs from tutor. They'res been some good examples above so thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonDrizzleDisco · 01/03/2017 19:05

.

OP posts:
thunderbuddy · 01/03/2017 19:10

Urgh I would not be having this, dc1s school serve awful food.
Many of the teen girls in dc1s year are already not eating at lunch without making a huge fuss about food:(

Monkeychopsticks · 01/03/2017 19:13

I would be writing "Thank you for for your concern about dds lunchbox, but I'm quite happy about the food and the quantity she eats. Any issues regarding her lunch should be addressed to me." Or just "please fuck the fuck off!"
Whichever works, I'd go for the latter myself.

Grah0SoontobeaFatty · 01/03/2017 20:09

Other option is to put a note in the sandwich box advocating that if the "CHECKER" is not a legal/ certified professional trained to give nutritional advice to your dd matching her medical condition you will be suing the school for doing so.

( note medical condition is a healthy young Vegan but they don't need to know that, as its between her and her doctor.)

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/03/2017 20:17

The school will probably be going for some healthy schools quality mark or some such crap. Complete lack of common sense. I work in a secondary school and this would be laughed out if school by the form teachers as well as the kids and their parents.

BlurryFace · 01/03/2017 20:43

Jesus, that's out of line. When I went to state secondary school in the noughties we had no cooked meals, a vending machine full of coke cans, a vending machine full of chocolates and crisps and a line for pupils with pot noodles to get them topped up from the kettle by a member of staff. God knows what your dd's teacher would make of that!

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 01/03/2017 20:46

It's like getting into prison/psychiatric hospital to see a relative!

I remember having a home made cake tested, which naively I thought might be a nice touch for my brother and his nurses. Har har har.

Ghodavies · 01/03/2017 20:51

My daughter is 12 and swims 8 sessions a week as a competitive swimmer (quite a good one).
This would be a starter for her and wouldn't touch the sides.
Not to mention the ridiculousness of making a youngster aware of eating too much and risking an eating disorder!!
I'd ask to speak to the schools welfare officer and voice your concern over making assumptions about amounts that children eat and flagging up potential eating problems!!
Don't even get me started on the bloody avacado ffs!!

BarbarianMum · 01/03/2017 20:52

Gosh, I was wondering how your dd keeps going all day on so little. Both my sons would eat all that, and cheese and crackers and a piece of cake and they're only 11 and 9 (and very slim).

DelphineCormier · 01/03/2017 20:54

That would have sent me even further into restrictive eating territory. Fight them all the fucking way op.

greathat · 01/03/2017 20:57

WTF? I teach in secondary, can not imagine having the time to do this! I have no clue what my tutor group eat, nor do I care (as long as they aren't starving)

DelphineCormier · 01/03/2017 20:57

I would work out the approx calorie content of her lunch today and ask for a gage as to how many calories are in the school dinners. Ask what they recommend she have instead. Point out that vegan diets are typically lower calorie, therefore vegans need to eat more. I would also be tempted to mention dd is starting to get anxious about her weight. Doesn't have to be true but it will shut them up instantly. No one wants to be blamed for anorexia in teens.

TitaniasCloset · 01/03/2017 20:58

I'm not sure what to write in the letter, but you definitely need ti take this further. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her lunch and avocados are perfectly healthy, plus all the issues around shaming teenage girls food choices that pp have mentioned. I would want to know the qualifications of the teacher criticising the lunch boxes too. Teenage girls need fat in their diets, they are still growing for gods sakes and by no means was that too much food for an active teen. Teacher sounds like a dopy nut job.

bunnylove99 · 01/03/2017 21:03

I would be telling the head teacher that unless said form tutor also happens to be a registered dietician then they are in no way qualified to be commenting on your DDs lunch and should refrain from doing so.

Original poster
LemonDrizzleDisco · 02/03/2017 06:17

Sending dd in with this :

Dear Mrs ___

Unless you are able to provide the nutritional information of school dinners or an alternative to avocado,LittleLemon who is vegan , I will not be changing what she has for lunch. I would appreciate if you do not make comments on LittleLemons healthy lunch because telling a teenage girl that she has 'too much' lunch is far from healthy.

Many thanks

Lemon

OP posts:
Original poster
LemonDrizzleDisco · 02/03/2017 06:48

Should say for Little Lemon who is Vegan *

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 02/03/2017 09:07

Too polite.

LittleLemon is vegan. I will not be changing what she has for lunch. Please do not make comments on LittleLemon's healthy lunch because telling a teenage girl that she has '"too much" lunch is far from healthy and is not within your remit.