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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids sent home - safeguarding issue?

372 replies

PutTheBathOnPlease · 28/02/2017 20:18

Got a text at 10.20 this morning to say secondary school have a power cut and kids will be sent home on buses at 11:30. My son is 12, I was 80 miles away for work. Other half was able to get home just after DS, but school had not asked either kids or parents whether an adult would be at home - they relied on one text message with 60 mins notice. I find it boggling that they sent home 11 and 12 yo kids, not knowing if they would be able to get into their homes let alone have an adult meet them. Maybe I'm old fashioned! But what if the text had failed to arrive? The consequences could be serious. Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
Astro55 · 01/03/2017 18:31

My kids have local friends and yes 'would just' go home to theirs - they would also be kind enough to offer shelter to any friend stuck - either use of their phone or back to ours - they can make drinks and sandwiches perfectly well - even soup or pasta, toast, eggs beans etc

These are life skills surely?

neveradullmoment99 · 01/03/2017 18:32

I have to say, a key at 11 or 12? When was that acceptable? I never had a key to my house at that age and neither did my older dc. I do agree though that most children would tell a teacher or phone parents using a mobile.

pinky212 · 01/03/2017 18:33

just to play devils advocate... I am legally unable to take my mobile phone into work and have made it clear to my sons school I am not contactable by this method during working hours (have provided a direct works number). However they don't take any notice of my arrangements and often leave messages/texts on my phone which Im then unable to deal with which is frustrating. I also agree with the other comments though at that age, kids should have keys and be able to look after themselves for a few hours

midcenturymodern · 01/03/2017 18:37

I love the assumption on this thread that kids can "just" go home with friends.

Really?

Why not? Confused

This is only after not having a key, not having a spare key at a neighbours, not having a spare key in a key safe or under a flowerpot, not having a neighbour or relative who can shelter them and not having the ability to tell the teacher they are locked out and could they get a little help.

eddiemairswife · 01/03/2017 18:37

They are so cosseted nowadays it's no wonder they lose keys, are frightened to be in the house alone, can't use their initiative when in an unexpected situation. Is it because of these lovely rural areas where you live? In dangerous old London children happily use train, bus, tube to travel to and from school.

averythinline · 01/03/2017 18:39

I'm in London and unless he was given a chance to phone me Ds would panic- he did have a key - lost it and the replacement - haven't had a chance to get another one cut, he's not allowed phones at school but has lost his anyway....so unless he finds a child that has phone - against the rules and is able to phone me then how would he let me know?
He does have mild SEN (hence the losing everything its a feature) but would probably not be high up the list in his 2000kid school...
Yes there is a library to go to but its only open a few days a week now due cuts ....and not sure he would think of it anyway- His only local friend doesn't have a key to his house..

So yes I do think its an issue - not sure what the solution is as with 2000 kids a call is not feasible

5moreminutes · 01/03/2017 18:40

It does depend a lot on the location of the school and whether buses were dropping them a reasonable distance from home I think.

My DD's school randomly closes an hour early but the buses that serve the school are scheduled buses which only run once a day in each direction and in the case of the very rural routes are used 99% by school children but not actually school buses, so the buses still leave at the usual time, which is mightily annoying as DD always thinks I should pick her up and DH is ideologically opposed to me picking her up we live 12 miles from school and sometimes I am working in a job I can't really leave except in urgent case of illness and there is no other way for her to get home. Its OK as long as its not a Monday when the library is closed and DD and her friends randomly walk the 15 minutes to the town centre or confusingly sometimes to Aldi and risk missing the one and only bus home!

Mind you schools here occasionally let primary school aged kids out early - from age 6 - to make their own way home or take buses (which are dedicated school buses and do get rescheduled) without any notification to parents at all - the secondary is actually more communicative due to exisiting within the current decade, as the primary seems to believe it is still 1977 and not use any form of email or text communication, nor to actually have office staff on site... It didn't used to bother me when I was a SAHM but now I am glad DC2 has an after school club place, and they are a bit more protective, as sometimes I would be at work ... though he'd be fine probably and just play X box. We have a key safe hidden outside since DC1 managed to lock herself out a year or so ago.

We are abroad (the primary situation would be fuel for a Daily Mail Sad face in the UK, where children apparently become instantly mature and independent the September after their 11th birthday but cannot be left home alone or allowed to walk to school a few short months before that).

midcenturymodern · 01/03/2017 18:45

I have to say, a key at 11 or 12? When was that acceptable?

1983 - at latest

5moreminutes · 01/03/2017 18:49

Craigie these days there are a lot of children with quite significant SN at mainstream schools, a lot of special schools have closed down but the number of children with special needs has not reduced... Just the fact they are at mainstream doesn't mean they should be independent, though I agree most secondary school children should be. We don't know whether the SN base was making different provision for vulnerable children in the OP's case or normally when secondary schools send children home.

Juveniledelinquent · 01/03/2017 18:55

Texts do get lost. I don't think this was acceptable. I would complain.

Astro55 · 01/03/2017 19:16

Text only get lost ifnparents don't have the common sense to let school know about any changes - funny these are the first to complain wen their kids are ill and you can't contact them!

AlexRose5 · 01/03/2017 19:22

OP I'm with you on this!
For goodness sake @ other commenters! Really not getting why there's so many posting that a 12 yr old would have a key or a phone etc... that's hardly the point is it?
For example my 12 yr old is in yr 7... we used to live a bus trip away but now we've recently moved to the edge of town , down a few country lanes that I wouldn't be confident my son would be safe walking down (NOT due to my son purely due to witnessing how particularly wreckless a lot of drivers using these lanes are! I've seen joggers in many near misses with these idiots that think country lane = put the foot down)
His secondary school have stringent rules about kids leaving the premises at lunch or during the day... That rule applies to year 10s as well as year 7s ... Put down as a safeguarding procedure but probably more of an ass covering procedure.. If the OP thinks sending kids (yes KIDS. Because that's what 12 year olds ARE) home with an hours notice by text is irresponsible then I'm inclined to agree!

5moreminutes · 01/03/2017 19:24

Astro texts can fail to arrive for hours if you live somewhere with patchy coverage though - I actually never receive texts if I am at home but will receive them all at once when I drive a couple of km down the road. Our house isn't a unique blackspot though :o there is patchy coverage all over the area.

Again its (mostly) a rural versus town issue these days. The texts are not lost, but it can happen that despite correct details they don't arrive til after the event they refer to has happened.

Schools do contact by mobile as a first option even when landline numbers have been provided for some reason (obviously with texts it is the default, and there are a lot of children so individual arrangements are hard to cater to, but as in the case of the poster up thread who is legally not allowed her mobile with her at work and has informed school and provided her work landline yet the school still just phone the mobile, the problem is not always that parents have failed to supply up to date contact details).

neveradullmoment99 · 01/03/2017 19:25

My older children were born in 1987 and 1989. It was NOT common practice to have a key at this age.

Floggingmolly · 01/03/2017 19:36

Latch key kids is not a new phenomenon, never Confused

neveradullmoment99 · 01/03/2017 19:43

Yes, i know its not a new thing but it wasnt common place with the mums and kids that i knew at that time.

neveradullmoment99 · 01/03/2017 19:44

It just seems to be more acceptable now. I am neither condoning or being critical of it as it depends clearly on the maturity of the child.

midcenturymodern · 01/03/2017 19:45

I was born in 1972 and it was totally normal to have a key. We went to the Catholic school, which was primary then secondary but the local schools were on a first/middle/high school system back then and starting middle school was the 'normal' age for walking home and letting yourself in. IIRC that is Y5. I remember being very bitter that my friend next door who was a year younger than me had a key a whole year before me. This also meant that if he was alone at weekends he could get in and out of his own home through the front door whereas I had to climb on the garage roof and go in through the landing window. Not sure why this was considered better than me having a key tbh.

neveradullmoment99 · 01/03/2017 19:45

With my dd, she wont be allowed a key until she is 30!!!

scottishdiem · 01/03/2017 19:52

In my street in 1988 I can think of 12 kids that all got keys by age 11 for getting home from school or leaving in the morning and locking the door. This was over a period of about 5 or 6 years as well all got older. So from about 1985 to 1992 or so.

Kids in other streets were the same. Yes, there were some SAHPs as well but they were sometimes at the Primary school with the younger kids and the older ones let themselves in.

One friend did have SEN and went to his Grans.

5moreminutes · 01/03/2017 19:52

midcentrury This also meant that if he was alone at weekends he could get in and out of his own home through the front door whereas I had to climb on the garage roof and go in through the landing window. Not sure why this was considered better than me having a key tbh.

Did your parents actually know you climbed in and out of a first floor window? Shock

I was born in the 70s and my parents always hid a key in their garage, which was never locked. So I never had my own key but anyone could easily get in using that.

However I couldn't have got home from school as in their wisdom they sent me to a school ridiculously far from where they lived and without any kind of sensible public transport route between the two places (probably could have done it with a bit of luck around timings and more cash for train fares than I usually had on me, by walking a mile from school to a tiny unmanned train station, catching one of the few trains per day, changing to another train at a bigger station, and then catching a rare bus or walking 4 miles, but I never did that!)

scottishdiem · 01/03/2017 19:55

Think about it my younger sister had a key younger but was for late evenings coming back from music classes and guides. She would get a lift back but the door was already locked so instead of ringing the door to get let in, she would just use her key. She always went to an aunts after primary school but at high school was same as me.

merrymouse · 01/03/2017 19:57

Latch key kids isn't a new phenomenon, but the term implies that a child doesn't have enough parental supervision.

Rightly or wrongly, that implies that even in the sixties/seventies/eighties society wasn't comfortable with the idea of children going home to an empty house,

midcenturymodern · 01/03/2017 20:02

Did your parents actually know you climbed in and out of a first floor window?

It's not as bad as it sounds. It was a semi with an attached, flat roofed garage. You could get onto the garage roof easily by climbing the garden wall and then jiggle the window open and drop through onto the half landing. Anybody could've done it if their fingers were small enough to jiggle the catch on the window. Personally I would take a chance with a key rather than having an easily accessible window with a permanently dodgy catch but we didn't have anything worth nicking and it was a really safe area.

Juveniledelinquent · 01/03/2017 20:04

Text only get lost ifnparents don't have the common sense to let school know about any changes

That's utter bollocks.