About my DH getting a tattoo.

[Crossoldwasp]

NC'ing as possibly identifying (talked about this at work today!).

For context, DHnis 54 and an accountant. No previous tattoos (ex army officer, so quite "straight laced" in many respects). I am 35 with one regrettable (in design terms) tramp stamp from years ago.

On Valentines Day DH announced he wanted to get a tattoo to mirror the wording off this picture - but with my name on top - for our upcoming ten year anniversary.

On the one hand, I'm massively flattered - I've not got the greatest of self-esteem, and obsessively often ask him if he really loves me. This would certainly be a assurance that he does!

On the other, cynic that I am, as much as I love him to bits, I would never get inked up with his name myself in return.

Even if we did turn out to be one of those lucky couples who lived happily ever after until one of dropped, there's always the off chance I might die early or something, and he would then have to live the rest of his life alone, or alternatively only date other people who happened to be called Crossoldwasp. Also, he might look a bit of a numpty on our next family holiday (my dad being most anti-tattoo) on our next family holiday.

I suggested "future proofing" by at least entitling it "To the one I love". He is adamant it is getting done, and will be dedicated to Crossoldwasp specifically when it is.

His body his choice, I know, or should I try a bit harder to put the muckers on this one...?? Genuinely torn.

Thank you all for your input on this!

[19lottie82]

Ha ha ! Sorry but I'd love it if my DH got a tattoo like that, just for the comedy value

[Foslady]

Tell him you're not happy with the words - the idea of 'duty'......and suggest you come up with something together that means a lot to both of you?

[MrsBobDylan]

Oh dear God, the wording is terrible. It's so over the top but at the same time lacking any personalisation.

Don't let him do it.

[yellowfrog]

To get all those words on, is the tattoo not going to me massive? I'm assuming tattoo words won't be as small as ones on a piece of metal jewellery!

On a non-related note, Crossoldwasp is a bloody ace user-name :)

[Tootsiepops]

Unless it's going to be a huge tattoo, after a while, the ink will bleed on the lettering and will look smudged.

Has he actually talked to a tattoo artist yet? I suspect they will tell him what he wants isn't practical.

[muhajaba]

It's painfully naff, your name would be the only good bit!

[PuddleJumper01]

You're SO much better than me... I'd have pissed myself laughing and then had to grovel and say how much I liked it.

It's full of sentiment but lacking in reality. Naff and horrible. Your poor OH. He's clueless, isn't he!

[spooniestudent]

I love tattoos, and even think that small tattoos dedicated to loved ones can be ok, but Jesus that's fucking cringey.
I'd stop my dp having it because I'd feel gross every time I saw it and also because I'm not a 'job' or a 'duty', I'm a fucking delight

[Graphista]

In addition to what everyone else has said, that's a lot of work/time/pain/money for a first tattoo! That he may well regret!

I've several friends that are VERY into tattoos my brother has loads, sister has a couple small ones. I've come up with one for my first but currently can't afford it.

If you speak to people very experienced inc tattoo artists they generally advise against spouse/partners names. Children's or deceased family members I get totally and you never stop loving your children.

Also pictorial ones get a feeling/intention across quicker. Could he get something that 'represents' you rather than names you? I also think the wording is awful tbh

[Blackbird82]

That is honestly the cheesiest thing I've ever seen! Bad enough that it's on a necklace, but a tattoo?! Please try and talk him out of it and try to steer him towards a tattoo that isn't so hideous

However, if he does go through with it, will you post a picture of it?!

[Teapot13]

Maybe he could get a t-shirt customized and wear that around for a few years and see how he likes it. If it doesn't get embarrassing he can go for the tattoo.

[Pallisers]

It is fairly awful alright.

I can't say I ever want to see the words "hobby" and "job" in a sentence which is supposed to reveal my dh's deepest feelings for me.

Actually I thought the tattooists professional society had agreed on a blanket ban on tattooing the word "hobby" as being against the spirit of tattoos?

[MiceGoClang]

The advice with a tattoo is to print it out and put it somewhere visible for six months, by the bathroom mirror or something. If you still like it after that it's meant to be.

Suggest that and hope he goes off it. If he doesn't, at least you've bought six more months of not being married to someone with that tattoo...

[Piesy]

That truly is a crime against good taste (sorry)

[pincha]

I think it's interesting that your main objection to him getting this tattoo is that you think he will regret it once you're no longer together, either through splitting up or you dying and him wanting to forget about you. (You seem to think that it could be transferable to his new love if only it didn't have your name at the top...)

That, along with your frquent need to be reassured that you love him, makes me think that this is his way of trying to prove he loves you, as a response to your insecurity. And the reasons you are giving him for not getting it will only make him feel more like he has something to prove.

So, if you really don't want him to get it, you are going to have to change your tack.

Aside from all of the above, it would be a really awful tattoo.

[pincha]

Frequent need to be reassured that he loves you, sorry.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Wow. That is bad.

But more to the point - you've been married for nearly 10 years, and you still obsessively ask him if he really loves you...?

He sounds like a saint. I would've dumped you 9 years and 11 months ago for that shit alone.

[Upyourdaisy]

I'm just curious, is it the wording that people are finding cringe? I've got a 'quote' tattoo, would like to know if anyone finds it cringey if I post it?

[pincha]

That doesn't seem like a very good idea Upyourdaisy. You might get some very, um, honest answers .

Not all quote tattoos are cringey, but taste in that kind of thing is very subjective. If you like it and it's meaningful for you then it doesn't really matter what we think

[catinbooots]

Yes upyourdaisy

Please post it

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

Daisy I think it's very personal...what people find tacky etc. I find this tacky because it's just not very well written...AND it speaks of their relationship in terms of a hobby, job and duty...weird.

And very American.

[catinbooots]

But if it is 'only god can judge me' I will point and laugh

[Upyourdaisy]

It's not catinbooots I've never seen anyone with one, have you?!

Mine says "every love story is a knot and ours is threaded with steel" it's quite personal. Dp and I have been together just over 10 years, since I was only 16. We've had some shit thrown at us but have come out the other side intact

[jdoe8]

Ha "tramp stamp" and awful jewellery photo, I don't for a second believe you.

[FrenchLavender]

I'd be mortified if DH came home with that on him. He's also in his 50s with no tattoos but that's not the point, it's awful regardless.

Just tell him it's a very sweet thought and you are flattered, but PLEASE GOD NO.