About my DH getting a tattoo.

[Crossoldwasp]

NC'ing as possibly identifying (talked about this at work today!).

For context, DHnis 54 and an accountant. No previous tattoos (ex army officer, so quite "straight laced" in many respects). I am 35 with one regrettable (in design terms) tramp stamp from years ago.

On Valentines Day DH announced he wanted to get a tattoo to mirror the wording off this picture - but with my name on top - for our upcoming ten year anniversary.

On the one hand, I'm massively flattered - I've not got the greatest of self-esteem, and obsessively often ask him if he really loves me. This would certainly be a assurance that he does!

On the other, cynic that I am, as much as I love him to bits, I would never get inked up with his name myself in return.

Even if we did turn out to be one of those lucky couples who lived happily ever after until one of dropped, there's always the off chance I might die early or something, and he would then have to live the rest of his life alone, or alternatively only date other people who happened to be called Crossoldwasp. Also, he might look a bit of a numpty on our next family holiday (my dad being most anti-tattoo) on our next family holiday.

I suggested "future proofing" by at least entitling it "To the one I love". He is adamant it is getting done, and will be dedicated to Crossoldwasp specifically when it is.

His body his choice, I know, or should I try a bit harder to put the muckers on this one...?? Genuinely torn.

Thank you all for your input on this!

[spongebob5]

I'd be horrified if my DP had that tattoo, I know it's his body his choice but no, just no

[AgathaF]

Horrible content. If he wants to get something to celebrate your marriage, why not sit down together and design something original and beautiful. That way it is really personal to both of you (and you can have large amounts of design input too).

[supermoon100]

Op- 'Tramp stamp' is a horribly pejorative term. There is no male equivalent, funny that

[Vermillioncomfyshoes]

To me, it sounds like something you would read inside a tacky Valentines card. These mass-produced tributes are completely impersonal, despite the words.
Apart from that I dislike tattoos anyway, and I wouldn't want anyone
to have ink needled into their body in my name. If it were me, I'd have to stop him from doing it. While I appreciate it's his body and he can do what he likes with it, I would feel as if I have some grounds to object, as it's my name he's using. It's not something I will ever have to worry about unless DH has some sort of humongous personality change.
What about a pretty ring of your choice, plain or with a stone, with
'I LOVE YOU' engraved inside? At least then only you will see it, unless you want to show it to someone.
I do have a thing for pretty rings though. Some may differ.

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

I'm a tacky cow and when my DH suggested tattooed wedding rings, I was touched. We haven't done it but may yet do it! We're in our 40s and don't really care what anyone else thinks!

[CharlieDimmocksbosoms]

Most tattooists will not copy exactly from the internet because of copyright clauses etc. Why don't you both design something together that you both like and agree on?

[Crossoldwasp]

Thanks all. I will subtly steer him away from this one then by pointing out the difficulties involved in tattooing that amount of text... rather than mentioning content!

[SmellySphinx]

Oh really no...I have just looked at the picture and that is a 'just. NO!'

Definitely not the words in the picture. No no no. He needs to do more research

[SmellySphinx]

Ignore the "anyone"

[SmellySphinx]

What a load of miserable gits yer all are!!

10 years, married... if you were one year in to a relationship it would be a resounding NOPE from me. I personally dislike hearts and name tattoos, I definitely don't like sickly sweet pukey naff Facebook drivel memes, poems and all that other fake guff.

I'd say if anyone really wants your name then go for the 'hidden' name tattoo in a design or (hopefully) correct spelling in a different language.

Come on though it is sweet that he wants to do this. If he gets it in an unassuming place like his shoulder blade or something and it us tastefully done, I would say do it. Its not like it will be on his forehead or the back of his neck...is it?! Its his body and he isn't thinking "what would my potential future wife/girlfriend think?" he's thinking of YOU!

[milpool]

Everything else aside... this will make a really shit tattoo. Like, really bad.

Text doesn't translate into good tattoos nearly as well as an image does. Bodies aren't flat like paper. It's really difficult to get a large body of text to look anywhere near decent. Not to mention the fact that a lot of good tattooists won't tattoo partner's names, so if he goes to someone substandard it'll look even worse...

Can he not consider getting an image to represent your relationship instead? DH and I have matching tattoos but unless you saw them side by side you'd never know (and that is rare as mine is usually covered, as it's on my calf).

[dylsmimi]

Can you steer him towards Pinterest or Instagram to find more ideas ?
You've said he's not good with words so maybe some good research will buy you some time and let him explore what he really wants and he can look to see if he can represent that cringe sentiment in another way.

[Paninotogo]

LTB. I am not even joking. If he can only express his love for you in such trite, insincere words then he really is not a keeper.

[FrenchLavender]

I'd be mortified if DH came home with that on him. He's also in his 50s with no tattoos but that's not the point, it's awful regardless.

Just tell him it's a very sweet thought and you are flattered, but PLEASE GOD NO.

[jdoe8]

Ha "tramp stamp" and awful jewellery photo, I don't for a second believe you.

[Upyourdaisy]

It's not catinbooots I've never seen anyone with one, have you?!

Mine says "every love story is a knot and ours is threaded with steel" it's quite personal. Dp and I have been together just over 10 years, since I was only 16. We've had some shit thrown at us but have come out the other side intact

[catinbooots]

But if it is 'only god can judge me' I will point and laugh

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

Daisy I think it's very personal...what people find tacky etc. I find this tacky because it's just not very well written...AND it speaks of their relationship in terms of a hobby, job and duty...weird.

And very American.

[catinbooots]

Yes upyourdaisy

Please post it

[pincha]

That doesn't seem like a very good idea Upyourdaisy. You might get some very, um, honest answers .

Not all quote tattoos are cringey, but taste in that kind of thing is very subjective. If you like it and it's meaningful for you then it doesn't really matter what we think

[Upyourdaisy]

I'm just curious, is it the wording that people are finding cringe? I've got a 'quote' tattoo, would like to know if anyone finds it cringey if I post it?

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Wow. That is bad.

But more to the point - you've been married for nearly 10 years, and you still obsessively ask him if he really loves you...?

He sounds like a saint. I would've dumped you 9 years and 11 months ago for that shit alone.

[pincha]

Frequent need to be reassured that he loves you, sorry.

[pincha]

I think it's interesting that your main objection to him getting this tattoo is that you think he will regret it once you're no longer together, either through splitting up or you dying and him wanting to forget about you. (You seem to think that it could be transferable to his new love if only it didn't have your name at the top...)

That, along with your frquent need to be reassured that you love him, makes me think that this is his way of trying to prove he loves you, as a response to your insecurity. And the reasons you are giving him for not getting it will only make him feel more like he has something to prove.

So, if you really don't want him to get it, you are going to have to change your tack.

Aside from all of the above, it would be a really awful tattoo.