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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School wants parent helpers...

41 replies

hannahsaunt · 02/03/2007 15:42

I want to help and ds1 really wants me to help with his class outing to a puppet show. Will take 2 hours in total - walking the class to and from the theatre (15 mins max each way) and staying to the show. Fabulous - offered my services straight away and noted that I would have ds2 (4) and would be v happy to pay for a ticket for him. School have refused my offer - do they really expect parents to be free for 2 hours during the school day without other children if they are not working? Ds1 is very disappointed as am I - I helped out heaps at his old school and we are both really missing that aspect of our old life. I do think school are being somewhat unrealistic.

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 02/03/2007 15:48

They will need to have the correct ratio of adults to children, and I expect that would be affected if you took your younger child.
There are probably parents available who have all their children already in school.
Your time will come next year!

Ladymuck · 02/03/2007 15:48

Ours do. Not every parent works, but even so, 2 took the day off work to go. I think that they are looking for a certain number of adults so that they have one adult per 3 children (say). If each of the parents brings along younger children then a) it changes the dynamic of the occasion and get chaotic, and b) it causes problems with the ratios.

I think that it is one of those occasions, where of course in practice there would be no problem for one parent to bring one 4 yo, but they will keep to a firm policy to avoid 6 adults each of whom have 2 under5s with them!

Sobernow · 02/03/2007 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tamum · 02/03/2007 15:51

I can see it's a shame but I don't think they're necessarily being unrealistic- lots of parents will be able to take the day off work, or only have older children, or just one child, so I doubt if it's a problem for them.

Original poster
hannahsaunt · 02/03/2007 15:55

Would you take a whole day off to be available between 1.30pm and 3.30pm? I absolutely would for a half day or full day outing (fingers crossed they have one!) but for 2 hours...it just seems like a big ask when there are others at home but not just twiddling their thumbs.

OP posts:
Tamum · 02/03/2007 15:57

No, I wouldn't take a whole day off but if it was a day when I was doing a half day it would be fine. I guess the majority will be parents who don't have a younger child though, there must be lots of them (if the class is average!).

Whizzz · 02/03/2007 16:12

I assume it would also affect the risk assessment for the group to if there was a younger child in the group & I think it would be hard to supervise a group of school children if you have your own their too

Whizzz · 02/03/2007 16:12

'there' not their

Ladymuck · 02/03/2007 16:16

When dcs school do their summer trip (which is always a fun one), they ask for the usual number of parent helpers, but also point out that other parents are welcome to make their own way to the location and accompany the party. They're not assigned any children, but usually manage to hook up with the parent helper who has their son.

Themis · 02/03/2007 16:19

'do they really expect parents to be free for 2 hours during the school day without other children if they are not working? '

You can still not be working and have children at school you know.

I missed out last year on trips etc because I had a preschooler , now this year I can be involved in school trips.

I think school are being reasonable , as someone said your time will come next year.

You would be there to help look after the school children , you would not be able to do this properly if looking after your 4 yr old. What happens if your 4 yr old needs the toilet , no one else can take her except you, so who would look after your group . You wouldn't be allowed to take a school child to the toilet , there would be sufficent 'checked' staff to allow that.

daisy1999 · 02/03/2007 16:21

I wouldn't expect parent helpers to take along another child. The parents who offer at our school never bring another child along.

LizP · 02/03/2007 16:39

Can you not swap your pre-schooler with another mum so that you each get to help out ? A friend and I do this so we each get to help out at different times - and the little ones love having their friends over so everyone is happy.

kslatts · 02/03/2007 16:40

I think the school are being reasonable and agree that you wouldn't be able to look after a group of school children and your old 4 year old.

I have been on 2 school trips with dd1 to birdworld and london zoo, I took days off work so that I could attend. Dh works shifts and went to the poppy factory and museum with dd1's class because he was on a rest day.

I would take a day off work to attend for a couple of hours, I helped walk the children in dd2's class to church for their xmas service and that was only a couple of hours.

tassis · 03/03/2007 18:18

sorry I'm with the school on this one!

obviously we both know your 4yo would be no problem, but some younger siblings could be a nightmare and therefore the adult helper can't really be counted in the required ratios (and I'd be unimpressed if such an adult with wee one were included in ratio)

however, do think you could be able to go anyways as an extra.

WayBackWhen07 · 09/11/2022 14:46

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 09/11/2022 14:49

YABTU! They are looking for Parents to help with the school kids, not tag along with a toddler in tow! If You want to take your toddler to see a puppet show do it another time.

VenusClapTrap · 09/11/2022 14:52

Fairly standard. You can’t bring extra children as your focus should be on the kids you’re there to accompany.

Plenty of parents work part time or from home and can be available for a couple of hours during the school day.

There’s usually a bit of a bunfight at our school for the parent helper slots. God knows why; I did a zoo trip once and it was hell.

Jijithecat · 09/11/2022 14:55

Zombie thread!!!
The children from this theatre trip possibly have their own children now.
Apparently Waybackwhen07 is having fun restarting old threads this afternoon.

AuntieStella · 09/11/2022 14:56

They won't take someone who is bringing a child unless they are so short of numbers that the trip might need to be cancelled.

As they've said 'no thanks' to you, then that means they have enough.

I've never known anyone take a younger sibling along when they are volunteer supervisors for school outings. You need to be an unencumbered safety officer who spends their time frantically checking that all the DC you've been allocated are in the right place. It's nothing like taking your own family and a couple of their friends on an outing.

There are SAHMs, PT workers, those WFH flexing their timings a bit and people who will take the odd day off for admin and Stuff who will be fully available.

eastegg · 09/11/2022 14:57

They don’t expect you to be child-free, so I don’t see what’s unrealistic about it. Sure, there might not be many parents child-free and able to help, but that’s what the school are looking for and that’s what they’re asking for. They’ll get a few I imagine.

parsniiips · 09/11/2022 14:57

I've never been on a trip as a volunteer and seen a parent helper bringing siblings and certainly not paying for them to join the activity.

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/11/2022 14:58

Taking another child would be a bit of a no no here too. You're not really helping as much if you are looking after your own preschooler.

eastegg · 09/11/2022 14:58

Aargh! Caught by a zombie thread!!!

TeenDivided · 09/11/2022 15:00

You can't take another (younger) child, that would distract you from what you are meant to be doing.

I was a SAHM who SAH even after my youngest was in school. I went on numerous trips both for DD2's class and other random ones, often at short notice. I never had DD2 in my allocated group on trips and only generally interacted with her at the lunch breaks.

TeenDivided · 09/11/2022 15:01

me too (caught by zombie). AAAAaaaagh.

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