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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being horrible?

33 replies

user1483875094 · 26/02/2017 22:26

Currently, due to staffing issues at work, I am working 6 days a week, and all my lovely friends know this. Today, my ONE day off, started with one friend turning up at 9.45 for coffee, lovely, but I was about to go and do some grocery shopping ... I have LONGED for my day off, to get on with the "stuff" you have to get done... washing, shopping, housework, switch the brain off, friend 1 left, and as I was putting my shoes on to get out of the house, friend 2, turned up for a chill out and an hour and a half catch up. At this point, I began to feel a bit stressy and friend 2 asked me if was ok? I said "not really, I am exhausted and have SO much to get through today, and this 6 day week is a bit much" - she sympathised, and I do love her to bits, but then she put the kettle on for a second cup!!!

arrgghh .... so by nearly 2 p.m. all I managed was to write up my shopping list, hence writing at half past ten tonight, whilst I am still trying to get the washing done. How on EARTH do I deal with this?? I love my friends to bits... but why can't they recognise that I so badly need my time? Any hints?

OP posts:
iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 26/02/2017 22:28

If they are close friends surely they will muck in if you just get on and do what you need to do? Or at least be chief brewer upper! CakeFlowers

tinglyfing · 26/02/2017 22:29

Don't answer the door.

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2017 22:29

I would probably have told friend 2 I was going out shopping and not sat down and given her the option to come with me.

buckeejit · 26/02/2017 22:30

Just say oh hi, you should e called-I've only got 10 mins as loads of jobs to do & megabusy.

Is there anything they could do to help you if that's a possibility?

junebirthdaygirl · 26/02/2017 22:43

I think if l was working 6 days l would be glad to see friends as l would miss having any sort of social interaction.

ijustwannadance · 26/02/2017 22:49

Just bloody tell them! Really, is it so hard to tell your friend you are on your way out?

Your wasted day is your own doing.

gamerchick · 26/02/2017 22:52

Aw you are loved Grin

Next time give them chores and get them stuck in. People scarper when you do that.

champagneplanet · 26/02/2017 22:56

I'd have dragged friend with me to help with the shop/bag packing/child monitoring Grin

Nomorechickens · 26/02/2017 22:57

You are lucky to have friends who drop in unannounced. Get your shopping delivered and relax with your friends

Huldra · 26/02/2017 22:59

She probably thought she was being nice to put the kettle on again after you said you were exhausted, the lots of things to do probably didn't register as you were going shopping. If you have your shoes on and some one calls round then tell them "I'm off shopping", then go shopping.

fixyourgardengate · 26/02/2017 22:59

Oh hi! I'm about to go do my food shop, want to come with me?

AYankinSpanx · 26/02/2017 22:59

Someone just turned up at 9.45 on a Sunday morning with no warning? My face would say it all. I wouldn't be able to control it.

ClothEaredBint · 26/02/2017 23:03

I would just say 'you can come in, but i'm doing housework, so you'll have to excuse me popping in and out'

usually my friends offer to help me so we can both sit down for a cuppa!

BakeOffBiscuits · 26/02/2017 23:06

When they arrived I would have said "it's lovely to see you, come in and have a quick cuppa then I need to go and do my shopping".

After 15 mins I'd have said, "sorry but I need to go now, I've got so much to do with working all week"

Easy peasy.

MrsMcMoo · 26/02/2017 23:14

Why do people keep saying the OP is lucky, when she's clearly feeling exhausted and stressed? It's rude and enormously selfish to turn up at someone's house without checking whether you will be welcome.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 26/02/2017 23:16

Any hints? Yes, find your back bone and use your words. "I need to go shopping, goodbye". It's not difficult.

glitterazi · 26/02/2017 23:18

Aw no, I can sympathise. I'd be gutted. I love my "alone" time and if I'd been looking forward to a day of doing not much and people kept dropping by I'd be feeling Angry inside.
Next time hide behind the settee or have your coat on when you answer the door so you can say you're going out then sneak back in when nobody's looking Grin

Nocabbageinmyeye · 26/02/2017 23:18

Unannounced that early on a Sunday morning and I'd think someone was dead! (There is every chance someone might be after I realised it was a social call Wink )

MeNeedSleep · 26/02/2017 23:20

Online shopping while having a brew with friend?

Original poster
user1483875094 · 26/02/2017 23:23

Mrs Mcmoo, thank you SO much... I have really struggled with this, and am a little bit shocked to hear how vitriolic others have been, I love my friends dearly, but this has been a serious problem, thank you so much for your kind words of suppo9rt.... xxx

OP posts:
Glastokitty · 26/02/2017 23:25

I don't get all the people saying how lovely for you either OP. This would drive me utterly mad. But then my friends know better than to just drop round to my house without phoning first. You just have to be firm. Or just don't open the door.

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 26/02/2017 23:26

Really? It's not nice support posts you need, its a virtual slap! If someone turns up unannounced when you are on your way out and you choose instead to stay in with them for hours instead of getting on with the stuff you needed to do, you can't blame it on them. You chose it.

UmmNo · 26/02/2017 23:30

Any hints?

Talk to them and ask them to join you going shopping or just explain in a straightforward way that you are busy. They are not mind readers.

melj1213 · 26/02/2017 23:52

How on EARTH do I deal with this?

You open your mouth and tell them?

Oh, Friend how lovely of you to drop by but I have a million and one things to get done today and I really don't have time to stop to chat. These 6 day weeks have meant the housework's piled up and today's the only time I have to catch up ...

If you want to join me on a stroll round the supermarket and a cup of tea in the cafe/pull on a pair of marigolds and give me a hand with the housework/put the kettle on and keep me company while I clean/, then I'd be grateful ... if not how about I give you a text later when I'm finished or we can go out for lunch or

Trifleorbust · 27/02/2017 02:03

This has only happened once. Don't start alienating your friends because they happened to drop by and you happened to be busy and didn't assert yourself.

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