Anonymous report to SS

[toolaidbackperhaps]

Nc for this so not outed.

I received a phone call from the social services department on Friday, following an anonymous report that dd had a black eye.

Dd did in fact have a black eye, which she got my running into her sister playing tag. The man on the phone was lovely, I answered a few questions and he was happy with everything I said, he claimed it matched up with everything the school had said too when he called them and there would be no follow up.

I am not bothered about this at all. I feel in a weird way it's good someone was looking out for my dd, and as it was a genuine accident I know I have nothing to worry about. I'd rather they checked 100 innocent reasons than miss 1 genuine abuse case.

My friend was with me when I got the call and she is really worked up! Said I should be looking in to who reported me, go down and speak to the school to ask them, she thinks it's disgusting that someone thinks I've deliberately hurt my dd. I've told her that's not the case at all and they have to follow up any reports. She couldn't believe I was being so calm about it all and said I was too laid back.

AIBU for not getting more worked up about this? I'm more worried now because of my friends reaction than I ever was about the call itself. How would you feel/react?

Agree with Merlin, I'm sure that's the protocol hence why it seems the school made the referral

For those in the know, are all referrals accepted on their own merit or are there risk factors? eg living.in a "rough" estate, unemployed parent etc?

Through work I came across a judgement that really shocked me. A primary school aged child was being looked after after school by GP. She noticed a soft lump whilst brushing her hair, phoned mum at work, neither knew what had happened, child could not explain. Mum made gp appointment, child sent for x ray where it emerged it was a partial fracture and SS called.

Child was put into care as it was initially an "unexplained injury". There was no concern raised by anybody, school etc but the mother had been to gp fairly recently and was prescribed AD's as she had recently split with her dh and was finding initial adjustment difficult.

To cut a long story short one expert said it was a NAI and another said it could be accidental. Child stayed in care for nearly a year whilst court decided whether or not childcwas at risk. All reports were glowing regarding the mother and child, but judge ruled that considering she was a single mother recently split from her dh and in need of AD's that she was obviously under considerable strain therefore it was more likely than not that she had inflicted the injury on the child.

I find it staggering the amount of people that think you'd just go and talk to a family if you thought one of their children had a suspicious injury. Yes, there's an excellent way to flag to the adult that someone is watching and give them time to teach the child exactly what to say when they are asked, and potentially punish the child for bringing the suspicion on the family.

Maybe if my teacher had spoken to me, rather than my father when I was 6 I might have been honest. The fact she flagged it to him meant I was repeatedly taught what to say the next day for most of the night. It also meant that for the next few days I had my hair brushed before school and got a kiss on the head at drop off. The teacher bought my parroted excuse and never thought anymore of it. Next school holidays I paid the price for 'encouraging busybodies'.

It's not nice when someone worries about your child, but at least someone does.

I asked her if any teachers had asked about it and she said her class teacher bumped into her and thought she herself had hurt dds eye. Dd laughed and said she bumped heads with her sister but that's the only person she said mentioned it. Not probing her any more.

That could also be behind it - especially if any other kids told their parents "Miss X bumped/hit Sally and now Sally's got a black eye" or even just mentioned the fact that the teacher had bumped into your child (if it was a hard enough bump for the teacher to think she caused the bruise it was probably noticable) and then seen the black eye.

For those in the know, are all referrals accepted on their own merit or are there risk factors? eg living.in a "rough" estate, unemployed parent etc?
On their own merit. IME it's not easy getting a referral taken through, it is largely about how it is worded and presented, unless involving physical harm.

Same happened to me but instead of a phone call the just turned up at my door. She had fallen down the stairs had been to hospital etc. The guy said they weren't even aware we had taken her to hospital. And it wasn't the school that reported it but another parent at the school. She had been telling anyone who listened how she had done it so I think was pretty obvious it was an accident. This parent had noted it was her second black eye. She fell of her scooter a year before and hit it on a pavement. They left it a week and before the school holidays before they reported it too. It really upset me that someone was clearly keeping tabs on me and my daughter in the school playground. The guy said they usually bring the police when they cold call like that. Never found out who it was.

Guidance in some voluntary roles is to pass any concerns on to the safeguarding team and not quiz parents or children, because you could accidentally put words into a childs mouth or make things worse, which can then stop a child getting help (different in schools because they have decent safeguarding training) so it may have been someone from one of the activities she's involved in.

A quick Google and it states that procedure would be for social services to make contact with the family first, speak with you and THEN decide whether they need to liase with schools / GPs / Health visitors and if they do they need written consent in order to do this.
The only time this obviously wouldn't apply is if the school refereed you themselves in which case within that conversation they would obviously already give a background.
It's difficult to understand why a social worker has informed you the school wasn't concerned and no issues when it seems it was them who made contact.

Did you take her to get checked anywhere OP? GP, minor injuries etc? Sometimes they will make a call to SS.

I mentioned to my GP that I'd left my abusive ex, he'd gone back to Australia etc and the next thing I knew I had a call from SS to check DS wasn't at risk. I repeated what I'd told GP and they said it all matched up and closed the file.

So if you didn't get her checked it does sound to me like school may have reported it - possibly arse covering in case someone really did think it was the teacher.

Did you take her to get checked anywhere OP? GP, minor injuries etc? Sometimes they will make a call to SS.

I mentioned to my GP that I'd left my abusive ex, he'd gone back to Australia etc and the next thing I knew I had a call from SS to check DS wasn't at risk. I repeated what I'd told GP and they said it all matched up and closed the file.

So if you didn't get her checked it does sound to me like school may have reported it - possibly arse covering in case someone really did think it was the teacher.