To think that midwives/drs don't take your pregnancy seriously unless you're ready to pop!

[CurlyCallie]

Im probably over reacting but in my eyes better to be safe than sorry,

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby, been feeling movement for a few weeks now. Yesterday I picked up my squirming toddler and as I did got a very strange sharp pinging pain in my belly, and a similar pain as I got out of a chair not long afterwards. I can't remember having felt my baby move since then, I've done all the usual, ate, had cold drink, laid on my side, then my other side - I've literally waited almost 24hrs for some kind of little nudge and now I'm panicking slightly.

Called M/W as they all tell you to do with any worry big or small and she says that there's nothing they can do because I'm so early yet. I asked what if I went to the hospital for some reassurance and she said I could if that's what I felt I had to do but to be aware they will under no consideration monitor me because I'm far too early yet. I know the sex of my baby, I've SEEN my baby, I've felt my baby... its not like it's imaginary?! I started to panic (and cry a little) and she must have heard because then and only then did she suggested popping to the midwives office for a Doppler. That's all I wanted! I'm not some hyperchondriac who wants strapping to monitor or ultrasound for no reason I only wanted reassurance my baby was okay?

I came off the phone absolutely dumbfounded... so if I hadn't felt anything for the next 10 days I'd have to wait for my 20 weeks scan to see if my baby was even still alive?!

Like I said I'm 99% sure I'm over reacting but this is my child I'm thinking of, so many friends have lost babies and I thought I should do whatever I could to make sure he's safe?

Am I being unreasonable??

I had a few scares with DS - sometimes he'd be really active. Other times he'd barely move at all. On the days he wasn't moving much I'd find that I also felt really drained. It was before the count the kicks campaign so I didnt know to get chevked out. The first time it happened I was worried but had an appointment the next day and he was fine by then. The second time I was seeing the consultant a few days later and he'd gone back to moving again by the day of the appointment. I asked the consultant what was going on and she said it was growth spurts - apparently they sleep more when they're growing in there. Funnily enough I had noticed my bump had 'popped' more each time!

Hopefully it's something similar for both of you who are worried on here at the moment. Wishing all the best for you.

I'm 26 weeks now and I don't feel that they care more now, i've been very well looked after by the NHS from day 1 of my pregnancy. But its pretty normal to have wobbles about not feeling baby for a day/round ligament pains and I think midwives can just forget how anxious you can get because they know there's nothing to worry about iyswim. They're not necessarily being spiteful or anything.

I'm glad that you've been checked and all is ok. Unfortunately your midwife was right in that if something were wrong, there is nothing that can be done to help your baby at this stage. It's difficult at this early stage too to recommend listening in, as a source you found out it's difficult to pick up a heartbeat even at 18 weeks. However, the option should have been there.
Before 20 weeks pregnant, you are classed as a gynaecology patient, after 20 weeks you're an obstetric patient. If your MW couldn't have seen you, perhaps you could have been seen in a gynae ward for a listen in. It's hard to judge not knowing what the local protocols are.

I would say that it's way too early to be worrying about reduced movement as baby won't have a pattern of movement yet (this will develop around 28-30 weeks), but you were right to call having had pain. I hope that this hasn't put you off asking for advice or help in future.

One more thing that I will say. A PO suggested you buy yourself a Doppler - please PLEASE do not to this. As you found today, even professionals can struggle finding fetal heartrates and it's very easy to get maternal and fetal pulse sounds mixed up. There are too many stories about people who haven't felt movements but have heard what they thought was baby's heartbeat when in fact it was their own and baby didn't make it. Using a doppler could give you false reassurance that baby is ok when it's not so leave thats kind of thing to those trained in their use.

I'm not sure what you are complaining about? The midwife is right, at 18 weeks they aren't going to monitor you, there are weeks and weeks until viability, and nothing they can do for you.

The second mw is the one who went against all guidelines, and really shouldn't have seen you if she was following protocol.

Yes it sounds harsh, but that is the reality of it.

You are not being unreasonable and I am completely shocked by this 'there is nothing we can do approach'. This is simply not true. Example: I had a bleed at almost 6 weeks and I called my hospital for advice - the midwife was very abrupt, said '5 weeks 4 days is not even a pregnancy' and said there was nothing they could do. I refused to accept this and went private - I was prescribed progesterone and aspirin and told that actually often there are things you can do to sustain a pregnancy. For example, if you're a bit older and your body is not producing enough of certain hormones, you can get supplemented and sustain what is a perfectly healthy embryo. After 2 days of taking progesterone the bleeding stopped and I am now 13 weeks, saw my little boy who seems to be growing well and bouncing around in my tummy. I can't help thinking if that was still the case had I listened to that midwife and did nothing.. So no, you are not being unreasonable and please don't feel bad about calling. Personally, I would have pushed for being monitored.

Curly glad you went and the MW was reassuring. Of course you should've called and checked what to do, you were not BU at all.

I really cannot understand all the pp saying yabu there's nothing they can do. What do you mean? They can check for movement when it has been usual to feel and has stopped (esp coupled with the pain, not every pregnant woman is a walking medical journal on pregnancy pains) or heartbeat, so there is something thay can be done. If it was the worst case scenario and a baby had passed, is the mother supposed to sit unchecked for two weeks like that? That sounds utterly horrifying.