To think that midwives/drs don't take your pregnancy seriously unless you're ready to pop!

[CurlyCallie]

Im probably over reacting but in my eyes better to be safe than sorry,

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby, been feeling movement for a few weeks now. Yesterday I picked up my squirming toddler and as I did got a very strange sharp pinging pain in my belly, and a similar pain as I got out of a chair not long afterwards. I can't remember having felt my baby move since then, I've done all the usual, ate, had cold drink, laid on my side, then my other side - I've literally waited almost 24hrs for some kind of little nudge and now I'm panicking slightly.

Called M/W as they all tell you to do with any worry big or small and she says that there's nothing they can do because I'm so early yet. I asked what if I went to the hospital for some reassurance and she said I could if that's what I felt I had to do but to be aware they will under no consideration monitor me because I'm far too early yet. I know the sex of my baby, I've SEEN my baby, I've felt my baby... its not like it's imaginary?! I started to panic (and cry a little) and she must have heard because then and only then did she suggested popping to the midwives office for a Doppler. That's all I wanted! I'm not some hyperchondriac who wants strapping to monitor or ultrasound for no reason I only wanted reassurance my baby was okay?

I came off the phone absolutely dumbfounded... so if I hadn't felt anything for the next 10 days I'd have to wait for my 20 weeks scan to see if my baby was even still alive?!

Like I said I'm 99% sure I'm over reacting but this is my child I'm thinking of, so many friends have lost babies and I thought I should do whatever I could to make sure he's safe?

Am I being unreasonable??

I can't even believe people have said YABU. YADNBU. A bit of empathy is all these midwives need to pacify an anxious mother hey. Some seem to lack them unfortunately.

Did you get to go hear your baby on a Doppler? Best of luck sweetheart xx

LoupGarou I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. 💞

You are correct though, it depends what the problem is as there is some intervention which can be made, and all changes in movements need to be monitored.

And thankyou ladies for listening x

CurlyCallie let us know how you get on.

You are not silly, for wanting to get checked out. It doesn't matter if you need to get checked a 100 times!!

Thank you passthewineplz

OP please don't ever feel silly, a midwife once told me that she'd always rather women came in to be checked rather than wait and worry.

As above, I totally understand.

I've had 4 pregnancies, one MMC, 2 premature labours resulting with one prem delivery and a whole host of other issues, so I get the overwhelming panic, coupled with a slight but of belief that you're the only pregnant woman in the world

But, as you know now, you're being very unreasonable. We don't have unlimited resources. Obviously it's a big worry for you, but there will be literally hundreds of other women a lot further on, with viable pregnancies, who need to be seen first. At 18 weeks, and even until 22 weeks approx, absolutely nothing can be done. It really is a case of you just have to wait it out.

Good luck.

Also, if anyone makes you feel silly for wanting to be checked ignore them, they aren't the ones who would have to live with the soul rendering guilt and the lifetime of wondering if anything could have been done if you hadn't put off being checked. I know that from very bitter experience.

Have you felt anything yet, OP? I hope they have managed to alleviate your worry.

I would see if you can get an ultrasound done to set your mind at rest but I can see what they mean though. If something was horribly wrong and you were miscarrying, at this early stage there is next to nothing they can actually do to intervene.

Still no movements yet just getting ready to go to my appointment, thankyou for asking though x

Loupgarou im sorry for what you've been through and thankyou for the advise, it's kind of hard not to feel sheepish and silly right now and I'll probably feel even more so after the appointment once I know everything's okay. But I can live with feeling silly now so long as i know it may have stopped me feeling a lot worse later on.

There's so much mixed advice out there now more than ever I wouldn't know what to do for the best if I ever felt worried again, I really don't think I'd be calling the MW for reassurance and maybe I'm wrong it's just the way I feel right now. The fact that the given consensus is that if, god forbid, anything did go wrong that there's not a thing that could be done until much further along frightens the hell out of me. Maybe that's unreasonable too but being pregnant makes you feel more vulnerable than you could imagine feeling, as you all know. Now I know the deal with what help is or isn't available to you I really don't know if I feel better or worse xx

I hope they are able to reassure you. Please remember that it is totally normal not to feel regular movements this early on.

Thank you CurlyCallie x.

Absolutely no reason for you to feel silly. Everything is more than likely fine, but you're right to insist on being checked out.

Loup my goodness. You are amazing dude

Not to hijack the thread, but thanks to the person who posted the Tommy's link. I was made to feel so silly this morning. I just rang my midwife led unit (who can't see anyone for monitoring over the weekend because there's no on call consultant) and cried. She told me to call the labour ward and insist I was seen and if they refused to call her back and she would phone them. Phoned labour who have made me feel like a complete pita because I've had 10 movements in 2 hours and therefore baby is obviously fine I'm now on my way in. I'm sure it's all fine, and they will make me feel stupid for going in, but at almost 32 weeks I really don't think they should be fobbing me off :(

Yanbu. I used to think the exact same thing... not interested in you until you are bloody dilated ffs! Phone them back and insist that they check you out. The stress brought on by you worrying won't be good! Good luck xx

Good luck. It sounds like round ligament pain, hopefully you'll get some reassurance today.

Back home now, although she couldn't find baby's heartbeat today she did pick up a fair few fetal (sp?) movements so completely relaxed now! She wasn't the MW I spoke to on the phone and she was really reassuring, chastising me for apologising so much and telling me I was better to be safe than sorry, that I could call to be checked a thousand times and the one time I didn't could end up being the one I regret. SO much better now! That was all I wanted 😊 off to make a nice strong brew and unwind before DS gets home

Thankyou for all the comments, although not exactly all what I wanted to hear, all helpful in their own way.

Big hugs

Notanotherpawpatrol hope you're okay honey

Thank goodness for that!

she couldn't find baby's heartbeat today she did pick up a fair few fetal (sp?) movements

That can give the added reassurance of knowing that baby is moving, but you did not feel those movements. That's quite usual at 18 weeks. Not feeling the movements doesn't mean baby isn't moving.

Glad you feel more relaxed

Great news Curly I'm really glad to hear it

DianaMemorialJam thank you that's kind, I didn't handle it well though.

Notanotherpawpatrol hope you're OK its beyond crap that they made you feel that way x.

Glad you got the reassurance.

I'm home again. They did a trace and a scan and I have another one booked for Friday. She's still not moving much but they said her heartbeat is all fine, bloodflow and placenta all look normal and she seems happy in there.
Glad all is well for you curly

That's really good to hear Notanotherpawpatrol hopefully she's just having a lazy/snoozy time . Really hope all goes well on Friday