To be annoyed at parents?

[pinkmartini01]

First of all let me say I don't begrudge my parents for having an active social life. They are still relatively young and it's great that they have so many friends.

I live about 200 miles away and am in my late twenties. I don't visit often as I work full time and it's a long trek. Possibly see them once every few months.

However when I do go back, every single time my parents are going out with friends. I arrive late Friday and they're usually in bed, Saturday will have activities and an evening activity with friends so I really only see them Sunday. This has been the case for the last few years really.

I know I could stop visiting but that seems cruel as they are still my parents!

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by this and should
I bring it up with them?

not very nice considering its pre arranged

maybe just ask them

Well they complained that they haven't seen me since Christmas so I said I could visit this weekend. To me that seems pretty well arranged.

It's a 200 mile drive (I think I did mention this) - a bit too far to go for one night or a Sunday afternoon visit! That's why I usually take time off work - if I didn't, they would be out all weekend and I wouldn't see them at all. Sunday afternoons/evenings are really the only time I see them.

I suppose I just thought that they might want to make time to talk to me and catch up. I'm not really a sulky teenager or a student anymore, I'm an adult with my own responsibilities etc.

If they travel all the way to see me for the weekend they usually stay in a hotel but I make sure I'm around without plans of my own. Given that they made the effort and expense to see me I think it would be rude to be busy. I kind of expected the same in return.

I think they are being rude if they do this every single time. When my adult DC come home for a visit- every month or so, I tell them if we have arranged something already, but then don't book up anything else for that weekend. We a you'll try to arrange a weekend when we are completely free. When they come home I want to spend time with them, not other people so I feel for you OP

Well, given all that, I would be annoyed too.

But I'm wondering what the history of your relationship with them has been

We sometimes have similar situation with my adult DSD because she won't commit to planning a weekend visit a couple of months in advance, and therefore we aren't able to then plan our social life (and other kids commitments) around her. She is ok with that though as she would rather not risk missing a good party with her friends by scheduling ahead.
Next time you visit why not phone in advance to arrange it, and say something like 'when do you have a weekend when you are not out on the Saturday night so we can have an evening together?'

Are you an only child OP? It is difficult when adult DC come home. My 3 often come when there are social events on they are going to with old school friends etc. I don't want them to feel obliged to be with me if they have a party or lunch arranged. Neither do I not arrange social events on the off chance one of them will turn up. However we are all very open with each other and so there is not a problem. They are your parents, just talk to them.