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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not find this remotely amusing?

59 replies

Purplefoxpaws · 24/02/2017 20:42

So, a friend of mine sent me a message saying her ds swore at a teacher today.

I already knew, as my ds had told me about it after he got home from school. As friend's ds was boasting at lunchtime. Ds thinks he's an idiot, as since joining secondary he thinks he is "hard".

Anyway, her message said what had happened, followed by a load of laughing emojis.

Wtf? What am I missing?

I just sent back "that's not very funny" but not had a reply.

OP posts:
capercaillie · 24/02/2017 21:29

If that happened in the school I work in, then child would be in isolation and a huge amount of trouble....

1frenchfoodie · 24/02/2017 21:29

Does she not just think the emoji shows crying?

BoomBoomsCousin · 24/02/2017 21:30

I hadn't seen the message she sent when I wrote my first comment. I think YANBU to find that particular comment unfunny.

Original poster
Purplefoxpaws · 24/02/2017 21:32

Maybe, I'll have to wait for a reply.

I went to school with her, and she hated it and the teachers. So there is a chance she meant it as laughter.

OP posts:
HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/02/2017 21:40

She's a twat.

Annie why are you hoping the OP has NC? Are you the friend?

bumsexatthebingo · 24/02/2017 21:45

You do know you don't have to be friends with people just because you went to school with them.

Asuitablemum · 24/02/2017 21:47

Yes maybe she meant smiling through the tears or something. That is shocking behaviour. Poor teachers.

Lynnm63 · 24/02/2017 21:50

Text back, "that's really funny because no one needs to pass maths, well not if he plans to spend the rest of his life on the social."

At least your ds thinks he's an idiot so he's not going to join in.

nicp123 · 24/02/2017 21:56

Agree with some posters... not everybody can 'translate' or use emojis correctly, my DS corrected me on that very one some time ago when I used it to express sadness. Since then I avoid using them altogether.

LemonRedwood · 24/02/2017 22:00

I think the aargh awkward one is a smile on android but a grimace on iPhone/whatsapp. Causes some confusion. Will try and screenshot.

LemonRedwood · 24/02/2017 22:09

Oh, for flip's sake, can't figure out how to screenshot on my stupid phone. Anyway, whenever I use whatsapp, if I send an emoji, it sometimes changes to another not even remotely similar as that's how it would appear on an iPhone, so I tend to stick to the one smiley one that I know works.

youarenotkiddingme · 24/02/2017 22:22

Is her attitude usually like this towards things?

Yanbu not find his behaviour funny but I wonder if the mum is actually laughing or reaching out (albeit badly) by telling you.

I also know many people who have used that emoji as crying.

MuchAdoAboutItAll · 24/02/2017 23:02

It's probably meant as 'don't know whether to laugh or cry'. She's probably stressed at having to deal with the school, and maybe worried about what will happen, let alone the brain aching conundrum of deciding how to get her son in hand. Stressed people often put a brave face on things.

We're all fabulous mums but none of us can physically control what our DC says in the heat of the moment. Her son said it, not her.

I don't think it'd be kind to add to her stress by falling out with her right now. Give her a chance and be supportive. It's possible to do that without condoning the swearing.

She might appreciate an honest discussion or you may prefer not to be friends with someone who doesn't conform to your standards, but I'd be backing away after seeing what happens and being there for now.

The fact that she has even told you suggests she may appreciate your help and sees you as someone who would know what to do. Big hint, I'd say. Take it as a compliment.

emmyrose2000 · 24/02/2017 23:20

If she's silly enough to text someone and highlight the bad thing her child has done, then the laughing emojis are probably accurate. I knew someone who'd think it was hilarious that her child had done something like this. It's just one of the reasons I cut her off.

PlymouthMaid1 · 25/02/2017 00:00

Hopefully an emoji failure. They all look almost the same to me as so tiny and I have no idea what most mean.

crazyoldfish · 25/02/2017 00:22

If that happened at the school I work in- her child would be excluded and she would be called into a meeting to discuss it. If she continued to find it funny the meeting would be pretty unpleasant

PuffinDodger · 25/02/2017 07:56

That's awful, poor teacher. It must be hard for schools to deal with the kids of parents who feel negatively about teachers like you say she does.

As friend's ds was boasting at lunchtime

I'm surprised he was still around to boast about it. You'd think he'd be removed immediately to isolation in most schools.

Unacceptable · 25/02/2017 08:13

There are students who act like this in schools.
Quite often, but not always,any phone calls with the parents go down in a similar way to conversations with the teens, maybe without the swearing.
IME a lot of the contempt and lack of respect from students is behaviour picked up from parents.
Support for teachers (and other school staff) can be shockingly poor sometimes.

I don't think the laughing smiley was in error. I've unfortunately known plenty of those parents.
No it isn't funny and they won't find it all quite so funny when the teen is 16/17/18 and treating them with the same level of disrespect Angry

puttingbbts · 25/02/2017 08:22

I actually feel sorry for children who's parents find their bad behaviour funny.
What chance do they have in life with rubbish parents like that.

KoalaDownUnder · 25/02/2017 08:28

Um. If I'd called a teacher a 'fucking bitch', I'd have been expelled. (Catholic school, 1980s). Nobody would have been laughing.

Twattishness in the extreme.

elodie2000 · 25/02/2017 08:38

Well, she won't be laughing when he turns on her.

^^ This!

This type of mother is often seen sobbing all over Year10/11 pastoral staff when their darling children start behaving like this at home.
'I can't do anything with them, they're out all night, they bully me for money, they swear at me...'
They just don't see it coming. Hmm

FrancisCrawford · 25/02/2017 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitterazi · 25/02/2017 09:10

If my high school ds had said that to a teacher, I seriously wouldn't be impressed and most definitely wouldn't be bragging about it in a text message to my mates - I'd be too mortified!
I'm with you on this one, not funny at all.

glitterazi · 25/02/2017 09:13

Hopefully an emoji failure. They all look almost the same to me as so tiny and I have no idea what most mean.

Never thought of that. All the little emojis on phones can look the same sometimes especially when they're small.
Give her the benefit of the doubt and assume they're crying ones.
"Oh, don't blame you for crying, I would feel like it too. How awful for you."

Shockers · 25/02/2017 09:19

I think the fact that she messaged you about it shows that it has bothered her. I'm wondering whether the emojis are to mask her embarrassment.