AIBU to want to evict my lodger?

[LondonHerbivore32]

I've let rooms before in the past without any problems. However I feel that this lodger is pushing my boundaries badly and hasn't been here long. Would you put her on a warning for eviction for the following?

1. Repeatedly not locking the front door when leaving for work. She works afternoon to evening and I leave at 6am, so often the house is unlocked for hours before I come home.

1. Repeatedly leaving the heating on at 22 degrees or more and going out to work. Therefore wasting resources and costing me a lot of money.

1. I am vegan and she is now cooking meat in my pots/pans, despite my discussing why that was not allowed before she moved in. She has her own cookware, she just seems to prefer my expensive stuff.

1. Having her boyfriend stay every Thurs/Fri to Sun/Mon. He contributes nothing to the household, takes long hot showers, doesn't clean at all and let one of my indoor only cats get out when he left the bathroom window open. Luckily I caught the cat I the garden, but he didn't apologise.

1. Loud sex with said boyfriend, after 11am, when I am working from home.

So would you evict her? I have tried to speak to her about these and other issues and all I get is moaning and excuses. Whinging like a child when she's in her 20s.

I had a lodger a couple of years back. She also left the front door unlocked on a couple of occasions, locked one of my dogs out in the garden and went to bed (luckily I was in at the time!) insisted on making 'stock' on the gas hob, literally had it simmering away for about 6 hours. She was also very heavy footed and was always banging around.....

However, she was really a very nice person and very apologetic (apart from the stock incident) so I let her stay, plus I really needed the money. Was glad when she moved out though, it's hard having a lodger in your home.

Yours' sounds like an absolute nightmare so I would definitely get rid! Just watch that she doesn't do something evil in revenge because she sounds like an absolute dick!

Definitely evict her.

I've let out my spare room in the past and had the odd nightmare tenant. I now ask for a reference at least re paying the rent (goes towards my half of mortgage etc).

I've turfed out tenants for less than you've listed.

Because @MojitoMollie She's been with us for a month. That seems like a really short time to kick someone out after, so I wanted a neutral opinion.

Just be honest and say that you don't think it's working out- the fact you have different dietary requirements would be the perfect Segway into the conversation (even if you actually have no problem with living with a boundary-respecting meat eater!)

I cannot understand why people ask this question and cannot decide for themselves, sorry OP.

If it is your house, and your lodger does not make your home happy, you have to get rid.

FGS what in the heck are you asking this question for really. Sorry to be so blunt.

Get your life and your house back. NEXT!

1. Is security. This alone reason to evict if she can't manage it.

1. Is just gruesome.

Its your home, even within a month.

Explain that the room was let as a single occupancy, therefore she and boyfriend both need to find somewhere else. A week is fine. Make sure you change the lock barrels when she goes.

yep what viques said.

Thanks @dinosaurkisses I have no issue with living with meat eaters if they respect the boundaries, at 21 years vegan I'm pretty chilled out about what other people eat.

What bothered me most was the cat incident, after many years TTC and a nasty break up, my FIV+ adoptee babies are my children. FIV+ cats can't really go outside, due to their condition. So I had a chat with her before she moved in and asked her to be careful, then that happened after 48 hours of her and the boyfriend being in my house.

Say what hexican says re security and also what viques says re single occupancy.

You can evict her after any time by the way.

I came back home once to find my lodger rifling through some drawers in my bedroom (yes really) I was supposed to be "away for the weekend".

I could not trust her after that so evicted her. It had been 6 weeks she had been with me.

The unlocked door would push me over the edge of tolerance, I would give her notice. Have you an agreement as to the notice period?

Agree.... boot her out.

Next time don't allow overnight guests as you've found they just move in

Look OP she may be young but it also seems like she doesn't care and is "taking the piss" re her boyfriend etc.

Some people (I had an ex landlady say this when I did rent) told me not to have boyfriends to stay, you either said yes to this but didn't think the consequences through. She is now walking all over you!

She can get a flat with her boyfriend if she wants a shared flat and to live with him.

It's clearly not working and won't improve.

She sounds very immature

Having been a lodger for half my 20s, my advice is to give her notice now.

Get rid ASAP she is being a piss taking child she is disrespecting you by using your stuff to cook meat in when she knows full well that your a vegan and she's leaving you home unlocked she might as well invite a robber in to your home because you wouldn't have a leg to stand on if you got robbed because she left the door unlocked. Your her landlady not her babysitter ship her out and fast.

Give her notice now.

People like this aren't going to change. She knew the rules; she doesn't care. And she's careless with your home (not locking the door), your money (leaving the heat running); your comfort (having boyfriend staying and using your things, endangering your cat); and your job (loud sex mid morning while you're working in the home!). Get rid.

I'd give her a week's notice.

And meanwhile, call her every morning at the time she leaves the house to check she's locked it. You shouldn't have to, of course, but it's in your interest.

Could you give her notice tonight that she needs to go tomorrow?

I know it sounds harsh, but from the way she has behaved so far, I wouldn't want her around in the house for that extra week... If she can happily leave it unlocked, use the wrong pans, etc etc in the first month when you'd have thought she was trying to show she was going to be a good tenant, then god knows what she will be like if she gets asked to leave earlier than she is expecting...

I could be doing her an injustice I accept. She may well just say OK, sorry it didn't work out, pack up her stuff and leave. But she might also decide to leave the door unlocked and wide open and take your special pots and pans with her or let the cats out... or somewhere inbetween.

But if you do have her there for a week before she leaves, do you have a lock on your bedroom door (or other rooms) that you could use to put special stuff that's not normally in your bedroom (your expensive pots and pans for example!) so that she doesn't 'accidentally on purpose' get muddled between her pans and yours and take yours with her and leave hers behind etc.

Yep. It's a see ya!!!!!! from me.

I share a house too. When I noticed my really good expensive frying pan not being cared for in the way I wanted, after 3 polite warnings pan was given a new storage home in my bedroom. It cost too much money to wreck through sheer bloody-mindedness. Luckily they love my cat as their own.

If I were you I would give her notice if you think a heart to heart talk won't make any difference. Should you go down that route, I would definitely put anything she could likely mistreat in your bedroom till she has left. My cat wouldn't care as she sleeps a lot.

As much as I hate the thought, next time I am looking for a new lodger I think I will write a note of what is expected, so there is less change of any misunderstandings. Only a short list - otherwise I may have trouble finding someone to move in.

I would also suggest giving notice asap as your lodger has clearly been disrespectful in regards the security of your home. Given that she's only been there a month, she is also allowing her boyfriend to take the too with prolonged stays with no intent to contribute to any additional costs incurred to you or even have to decency to tidy up after himself. I feel things will only escalate and cause more stress in the long term if you don't ask her to leave.

Not locking the front door once - mistake. Second time - careless, warning. Third time - pack your bags.