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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send DD back to school?

41 replies

ThingsToDoAndPlacesToGo · 24/02/2017 11:32

DD (year 4) doesn't like Fridays and complains every Friday morning. This morning, she was claiming to be ill and hankering for a day of school. She looked fine and ate all her breakfast, but she was still saying she was too ill for school. I said no, if you're that ill the school office will send you home.
10:30 am I get a call from her school saying she went to the office feeling really sick and could I pick her up. I go to collect her, she acts sick while we're in the office and car, but as soon as she arrives home, she says she's hungry and asks for a snack, then starts cartwheeling around outside. She then gloats about missing most of a Friday. WIBU to take her back to school saying she's not ill?

OP posts:
lillianhom · 24/02/2017 11:34

What is it about fridays she hates so much?

MollyRedskirts · 24/02/2017 11:34

Definitely take her back. Do you know why she hates Fridays?

PurpleDaisies · 24/02/2017 11:34

It sounds like the most effective thing would be to meet with school and work out some strategies for nipping this in the bud. Would school accept her back after lunch?

When you say she's "gloating", what do you mean?

user0000000001 · 24/02/2017 11:34

If she's so ill she's been sent home from school, she should be in bed quietly, with no electronics, shouldn't she?

Allthewaves · 24/02/2017 11:35

I'd take her home. Make her stay in bed. No tv, electronics. Only a book

bumsexatthebingo · 24/02/2017 11:35

Do you know what she doesn't like about Fridays? Is it pe or something? I would try to get to the bottom of that if she attends happily for the rest of the week.

user0000000001 · 24/02/2017 11:35

But yes, echo the comments in understanding what happens on Fridays that she's trying to avoid.

Tobuyornot99 · 24/02/2017 11:36

I'd take her back for sure. What lessons / what happens on a Friday that's so awful to her?

amusedbush · 24/02/2017 11:37

Sounds odd, does she have PE on a Friday or something?

HelenaJustina · 24/02/2017 11:37

It should be extremely boring at home, dry toast and sips of water (for her upset stomach), bed with only books, quiet bath at appropriate time and early bed.

Couple of weeks of that on Fridays and she soon stop it.

In the meantime, chat to school and to her and figure out why Fridays are a problem. Is it a spelling test? PE? The options at lunch?

mathsy · 24/02/2017 11:38

Definitely she should be in her bedroom in bed if she's that ill. What's wrong with Fridays? I'm sure if she did the same thing next Friday the school would start getting suspicious too. Phone the school to find out what she might not be liking about fridays.

IwannabeanElf · 24/02/2017 11:39

I would send her back personally. Ornif you don't send her back tell her if she is sick she must spend the day in bed, no TV etc..

Saying that there must be reason why she doesn't want to go. Has she said why she doesn't like Fridays?

Original poster
ThingsToDoAndPlacesToGo · 24/02/2017 11:42

She does have PE on Fridays, but she's the sporty type and always seemed to like PE. I'm not sure what else could be bothering her, I might have a chat with the school when I take her in tomorrow (or today)

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 24/02/2017 11:43

I'd be getting to the bottom of why she doesn't like Fridays. Is she struggling with a lesson on that day.
Its very unusual for children not to like Fridays.

DearMrDilkington · 24/02/2017 11:45

I wonder if she avoids Fridays because then she gets a longer weekend iyswim? That was always my plan when I was in school.Blush

BillCipher · 24/02/2017 11:47

I used to try and get every Friday off sick at primary. It was because we had a French lesson with a really horrible teacher. She would pick on me. Really put me off learning languages :(

Starlight2345 · 24/02/2017 11:53

Assuming she has managed a few Fridays off..What happened at home on a Friday? My Ds tends to lie on the sofa and watch TV if he is poorly. If he recovers. I print off some school work, get him to do educational things.

But yes you need to know why Fridays are worse.

bigearsthethird · 24/02/2017 11:54

Might be a silly question but does she avoid fridays when she knows its friday. for example if she wasnt aware it was friday (unless hes real hot on her days of the week, my 3 yr old always asks what day it is) would she want to go to school?

Like if you said, no I think today is thursday would she be more keen? If so then I think there is something going on on at school on a friday specifically that she isn't liking, as opposed to her just being tired by the end of the week.

So then you need to find out from school what or who is different on friday

cantkeepawayforever · 24/02/2017 11:56

I would take her back - telling her the stiory of the boy who cried wolfon the way.

I would then ask for a meeting with her teacher at the earliest possible opportunity, at the end of today if possible, to discuss what has happened, and any possible reasons.

Every school has a mental 'list' of 'the children who are DEFINITELY ill when they say they are feeling vaguely off colour' and 'children who are told to wait and see how they feel in an hour'!

cantkeepawayforever · 24/02/2017 11:59

I would also agree that if she is ill, then being in bed, with a sick bowl beside her, no electronics, tv or company, and a very early night are absolute necessities. No negotiation - she is either well, and can go to school, or ill, and she must stay in bed.

[I always knew as a child when i was seriously ill, because my mum would start being nice and allowing me to do things, come up to see me in bed etc etc. if just mildly ill, I'd have to stay in bed with only books for company all morning.]

RicottaPancakes · 24/02/2017 12:03

I don't think the"no TV or ele tronics, just books" strategy is very good. That'll just make her dislike books! I 'd speak to your DD and the teachef about it. Hope you get to the bottom of it :)

melj1213 · 24/02/2017 12:04

Firstly you need to find out why she is so reluctant to go to school on Friday - is it because they do a particular subject she hates or is it just because it's the last day of the week and she can't be bothered and wants a 3 day weekend? Maybe go in and speak to the teacher so that they can help you try and work it out, and also so that they know of her Friday school aversion and can be on the lookout for signs she is being less than truthful about her "illness" and try to deal with it in school instead of calling you straight away.

I used to teach a primary aged child like yours, who would say they were "ill" to get out of stuff they didn't want to do. We discussed it with the parents and they agreed that whenever their child claimed to be ill and we had reason to believe it wasn't true (eg he'd been running round at break time but 5 mins later when he came inside and we were doing an activity he didn't like he'd complain of feeling sick), he had to sit quietly and "rest" in the home corner for the next class period before he would be allowed to go to the office but if he felt better at any time he could rejoin the class. Usually by about ten minutes in, he was bored of pretending to be ill and sitting quietly without attention and had rejoined the group and his parents were happier too because they were getting far fewer phone calls home every week about their child.

Secondly, if she does this regularly I would not be mentioning the fact school will send her home if she's ill enough because you effectively gave her the idea to fake it to get sent home.

Thirdly, if my DD is too ill for school that means she has to stay in bed, no technology, plain food and nothing more strenuous than reading allowed, so that getting the day off isn't seen as a "treat" but as a consequence of being ill and nothing more. The only exception is if it's something like she's been sick in the night and she seems OK by the morning but still feels a bit sick/not 100% so I want to quarantine her just in case. In those cases she gets to stay on the sofa and have a PJ day if she feels up to it but that's because it was my choice for her to stay at home.

Your daughter has got what she wants by lying so if it was me she'd be getting punished for the lying at the very least and be sent to her room. If she wants a day off to play, well she's ensured she got the day off bit but you don't have to allow her to do whatever she wants now she is home.

user1483387154 · 24/02/2017 12:05

send her back in or she has to stay in bed with toast to eat and water to drink. No playing allowed and no electronics.
Try and find out what is going on that she wants Fridays off, but do not let her have a fun day today.

creamycrackers · 24/02/2017 12:08

Dd loves golden time on a Fri but we have the same random illnesses because she also has a spelling tests and 'fix its' (going back through her book to correct any mistakes which Dd hates) every Friday morning. I take her in and tell her if she is really poorly the office will ring me so not to worry. I never get a phone call and shes always very perky at the end of the day.

Leave her off with no fun things to do like mentioned up thread but next time take her in and tell her the school will contact you if they need to. Maybe have a chat with the teacher to see what is done on a Fri there may be some small thing stressing her but once it's out the way she enjoys the rest of the day?.

Casz · 24/02/2017 12:10

Is there something different which happens regularly on Fridays?
Different teacher? Spelling test? Fish for dinner?
A child she dislikes with her for a session, or a child she likes is not with her?

Is anything worrying her that happens at the weekend that she wants to avoid, or does she feel she "needs" to be home to check everything is ok/ she's not missing out on something?