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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is weird

54 replies

beardedlobster · 23/02/2017 16:17

Hello, long time lurker but first time poster here.
I have just met up with a friend of mine who said something that I perceive to be a really weird and want to know what others think.

My friend has recently moved back in with her parents so we were talking about how it was going. She said that so far it was going well the only thing she was worried about was her dad seeing her naked. I laughed and said I suppose that could be embarrassing but I wouldn't worry about it.
She then said it wasn't the embarrassment that would bother her but she was worried that if he saw her naked he would find her sexually attractive and that would change their relationship.
I said I thought this was a strange thing to think and that I very much doubt that this would happen but she then got upset saying it was a genuine concern as she knows she has a good body (which she really does).
I really didn't know what to say, is it just me or is this a really really bizarre thing to think never mind be worked up about? She is 30 years old if it makes any difference.

OP posts:

FairNotFair · 23/02/2017 16:36

Original poster

beardedlobster · 23/02/2017 16:36

Thank you all for your replies. Yes it is her Dad not a stepdad and yes I had said I very much doubted her dad would even see her naked. Mulberry rom knowing her dad he would be mortified if he knew she thought that.

I am glad I am not alone in thinking this is really odd. They way she was going on I genuinely thought I must be missing something but no, very very bizarre! Not really sure what to say to her now if she brings it up again I think I will show her this thread if she does that she really really is being weird to think that. I'm literally just sat thinking about it, so so odd.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2017 16:37

That's so abnormal. Something very wrong there indeed. He's no reason to see her naked, and to think her own father would be sexually attracted to her is beyond sick. Something is going on with her. I wonder if she was abused, maybe by him. Even if she's so up herself she can't think any man wouldn't be attracted to her, her own father is something different.

Original poster

beardedlobster · 23/02/2017 16:38

in response to other messages, there is no history of abuse, sexual or otherwise. She is the first too say her parents are amazing and have given her the best life.

OP posts:

MiddleClassProblem · 23/02/2017 16:42

Could it be something an ex planted in her head or someone else?

It's very strange.

Willow2016 · 23/02/2017 16:42

Says a lot about her opinion on herself if she thinks even her own father cannot resist her goddess like body!

Tell her to give her self a shake. (and cover up!)

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2017 16:42

Op, for someone to think their own father would be sexually attracted to them is very wrong. Something is going on with her.

whattodowiththepoo · 23/02/2017 16:43

It's really really weird.

Avoid that subject at all costs and pretend she didn't say it.

Rixera · 23/02/2017 16:47

Maybe there is no history of abuse that you know of.
Maybe this is her way of intimating something that she's genuinely afraid of, because of past experiences- maybe her dad has said or implied things that make her uncomfortable but outwardly seems amazing so she feels worried and can't work out exactly why. And as you are her friend, she thought she could confide in you.

AyeAmarok · 23/02/2017 16:48

Do NOT show her the thread.

As if she's been abused, and I'm starting to think she must have been, then it won't be nice for her to read.

Janey50 · 23/02/2017 16:49

Bloody hell she must have a really high opinion of herself if she thinks her own father is going to fancy her!

LagunaBubbles · 23/02/2017 16:49

For this to even cross her mind is not just weird but worrying.

beebeecee · 23/02/2017 16:54

I think that either she's deluded or there is a history of abuse.

FWIW a friend who I've known forever recently had her father prosecuted for historical abuse. The whole community was shocked, more than shocked. He was, on the surface, an absolute pillar of the community, in a position of responsibility professionally etc. And all along he was an abuser of his own daughter

You NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors.

SEsofty · 23/02/2017 16:58

Echo that maybe this is her way of trying to tell you something

Emmageddon · 23/02/2017 17:07

I agree with what other posters have said. This isn't about your friend thinking she's so desirable, even her own father would want her sexually, this is deeper than that. Perhaps she was expecting you to ask her what she meant, so she could confide in you?

PurpleDaisies · 23/02/2017 17:08

there is no history of abuse, sexual or otherwise. She is the first too say her parents are amazing and have given her the best life.

That is not necessarily true. She could easily be making that up because she doesn't want to talk about it.

Pinotwoman82 · 23/02/2017 17:09

Good god I've heard it all now

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 23/02/2017 17:10

in response to other messages, there is no history of abuse, sexual or otherwise

Yeah, because everyone just announces it to the world.

TheWorldAccordingToToads · 23/02/2017 17:12

there is no history of abuse, sexual or otherwise.

How do you know?

needapaddle · 23/02/2017 17:14

Try and ask her what she meant as that is really off kilter and it it/is there something she wants to talk about? If there is historical abuse then the police will be very supportive and should be involved immediately. If it is her thinking inappropriate things about her Dad then she needs help. Either way, very sad/awful and very odd.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 23/02/2017 17:14

How vain is she I'm so hot if my father sees me naked he'll be sexually attracted to me . She is fucked up and not only that but its an awful thing to say out loud about her poor dad, he would be horrified. I actually would cool a friendship over this I think, too weird, vain, self absorbed and fucked up for my liking

DearMrDilkington · 23/02/2017 17:19

Sounds like she's been sexually assaulted in the past, possibly by a family member that said it was her fault for not being fully clothed. I'd dig a little deeper, it sounds like she wants to talk about it.

beebeecee · 23/02/2017 17:22

^^agree

FireSquirrel · 23/02/2017 17:31

Wow, does anyone really believe she's saying this out of vanity?! Because that's unlikely at best and if she was really that narcissistic there would almost certainly have been other signs before this. More likely she has some history of abuse or has mental health issues. She needs help not ridiculing.

Original poster

beardedlobster · 23/02/2017 17:50

Thanks again everyone for the replies.

I am now quite concerned with the amount of posters who have brought up abuse, this hadn't even crossed my mind with knowing my friend and her family as I do however realise this also doesn't make me objective and like people have said you do not know what goes on behind closed doors.
I will be devastated if she was trying to tell me something and basically I have called her weird.
I am seeing her tomorrow morning which was arranged anyway so will broach the subject with her then. Thank you again for the advise.

OP posts:

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