in expecting my daughter not to be yelled at by a mother of her friend?

[lou33]

dd1 just called a friend to ask something about her homework

her mum answered, and before she got a chance to ask for her friend the woman shouted at her to stop phoning as they were having dinner, and hung up!

dd1 hadnt called before, and she walked in to me in tears

give me a reason not to send a letter to this woman and say how dare she be so rude and not even wait to see who it was calling?

Can't think of a reason. If anyone phones when we were having dinner when we were at school, my parents asked who was calling and could we call them back after we had finished.

Horrible woman. Poor dd.

OMG!!! How rude!! i'd ring her back and say something. or keep ringing and put the phone down, lol

Surely if calls during dinner were that much of a problem, you just don't answer the phone. Would also be really

Make several calls right now pressing 141 beforehand, or whatever it is that withholds your your number appearing. She won't know but you will

she seemed to assume my daughter had been calling earlier, she's really upset

i am mad

but if i call now i probably will either lose my rag or have her do the same to me

ooh now theres an idea, my number is permanently withheld already!

Do 141 and she won't know the number keep hanging up, lmao.

That is really nasty. If someone reduced my child to tears by being so bloody rude I would be livid. And upset. No need for it, is there?

The only reason I can think of for you not sending a letter is that you may have to see this Neanderthal again, and your dd may have to put up with her dd in the future, so it might not achieve what you are hoping. That and the fact that the stupid cow is probably illiterate and signs her name with a cross, a la mediaeval peasant.

I wouldn't ssend a letter ring right back now.
If we are eating we just let the phone ring, what a bitch!

Perhaps the other mum had been getting nuisance calls, like those sales calls from overseas. Not an excuse for yelling obviously. Quite late to be having dinner IMO, so perhaps she'd had one of those days.

Perhaps you could phone later and ask if your dd can speak to hers, and mention that you're doing the calling because your dd is upset at the earlier call.

i am tempted to drive round and give her a piece of my mind

im going to write a note

i'm fairly laid back with most things but if my kids are upset by someone i get a red mist, so it might not be too helpful if i have to actually speak to the old cow

i wrote

could you please call me on xxxxxxxxxx and explain to me why you shouted at my daughter this evening telling her to stop calling, when she had not called previously, reducing her to tears

i would be interested to hear your pov

Good, direct and to the point. Post it. Then the ball is n her court, hopefully she will have teh decency to apologise, otherwise..never speak to her AGAIN!

i've never met the woman or spoken to her before

nice opening conversation eh?

oooo would love to hear what she has to say in her defence.

what a crap thing to do. under no circumstances should would I ever shout at a friends child.

Let us know.
WE always have kids knocking our door for DS1 and as inconvenient as it can sometimes be, i would NEVER shout at them. Appalling behaviour.

i just cant fathom why she didnt even bother to check if it was the same person who had obviously been calling before, but just chose to shout her down

oh and if by any chance you are a netter, shame on you

lou, don't write that note now. I understand that your instinctive reaction is to say "don't you dare speak to my daughter like that and upset her, you mad old bitch" but you might regret doing something like that in haste. I'm not suggesting that you just roll over and take it, I couldn't do that either - but how about cooling down for a couple of days, and then wording something a bit cutting but much cooler - or arranging something in person and being friendly but unflinchingly mentioning what happenened?

I don't know, I am notoriously crap at interpersonal relations anyway, but it seems to me that someone with your verbal skills and intellectual resources could do a bit better than 'spitting mad'. You might even be able to get her to see why that is so rude and do things differently in future.

i just asked her why she shouted at dd as i wanted to hear her pov, seeing as dd hadnt called before

and added my number

tho i felt like wiping my arse on it before i stuck it in the envelope

My DH did this to my grandmother once, we'd been having so many nuisance calls and she paused before speaking. It really does sound like she was just fed up with cold callers, I'm sure she'd be mortified if she realised that it was your daughter.

If she was just being an arse, then she's an arse, but it sounds so similar. DH had so much ground to make up afterwards.

I can only assume that perhaps she had received a spate of sales calls or whatever, as they do tend to call early evening and had snapped when answering the phone in order to cut them off before they began... I quite understand your dd being upset by the abruptness but you seem to accept that it likely wasn't meant towards your daughter personally (as she didn't know who was making the call) and I expect you've tried to soothe her feelings as such.

I personally think it's a bit hasty to make an issue of it, because your daughters are friends. I completely understand your gut reaction of defensiveness on your dd's behalf, but as it probably wasn't meant personally I can't see how offence can be taken from it (in the cold light of day IYSWIM). YES, it was rude, but I think that was probably the desired effect for the intended recipient (not your dd).

So are you sure she knew that it was your dd on the phone? If your dd didn't get a chance to speak she might have thought it was a cold-caller.

I am usually polite but must admit I have occasionally been impatient with cold-callers. My ds is working at a call-centre at the moment, but it hasn't made me any more tolerant! Do him good to be shouted at!

Let us know what her reason is!

if it wasnt meant for dd then i think she should apologise, and be told what she did, which is what i would do

also you need to understand that dd1 has had a tough time recently with a group of friends, who have been alienating her, to the point of myself having to go to the school about it.

this girl is one of the few friends she trusts, so to be spoken to like that has made her very vulnerable again

she did get the chance to speak, she said hello x ( she calls her by her first name), so the woman knew it wasnt a cold caller, at least