To take the money and go?

[Coastalcommand]

I've been in the same job since leaving university and I have always loved it.
In that time I've worked my way up to a good level of pain albeit with some fairly unpredictable at always very long hours. Given the current instability around Brexit my job is starting to look less secure, as is the whole sector I work for. For the second time in six months we are all being offered voluntary redundancy.
I'm currently on maternity leave and absolutely loving it, so much so that I've been dreading putting my baby into nursery when I go back to work.
There's also the issue that my husband and I both work long and often fairly antisocial hours so when I go back there will be a fair bit of juggling in terms of childcare and our little one will be in nursery from 7am-6.30pm five days a week.
The voluntary redundancy offer is really quite generous, over a years wages for me. I am tempted to take it, mostly because I'd love to spend more time with our baby but also because I suspect the next time redundancy looms (and I think it will) it may not be voluntary and the terms may not be as good.
We keep hearing that similar firms are now only offering statutory redundancy packages rather than our legacy terms.
Given that nursery fees would take up more than half my wages and we could live on my husband's wages (albeit not as easily) AIBU to take the offer?
Given that my industry is contracting I would be v unlikely to get a similar job. My plan would be to use the year I'd be paid to develop transferable skills and try to launch my own business in future.
Am I being stupid to leave a well paid job in this climate?

Doing a five year plan, and maybe also consider using some of the time / money to either keep up to speed in your field (conferences etc) or retrain if there is a chance that it would be difficult to get back in.

And save a good chunk for a rainy day!

you'll live to regret them spending so much time in nursery.

Not necessarily true and rather unnecessary a comment.

I do not understand why any couple who can manage on one person's salary both work when they have small children - that time is so precious enjoy it while you can

Because I deeply enjoy my profession and it makes me who I am
Because I have worked enormously hard on it
Because it would drive me bat shit crazy to give it up
Because it is incredibly sexist to think he moment I push a baby out of me I need to stop my work and my profession
You really can't see any of that?
FFS

Think about your baby's life too. I have worked with plenty of children with attachment disorders and low achievement due to parents who work long hours.
Time for family life rather than childcare is so important if you can balance your working life. Nothing sadder than children's experience of family life being home at 6.00pm 'bath and bed', no time to eat and talk together, no time/energy for reading or a bedtime story. These children struggle to fulfil their potential and to build relationships.

What the utter bollocks is this? So this is what this thread will become about then? Daily Mail style emotive working mother blackmailing?

Think about your baby's life too. I have worked with plenty of children with attachment disorders and low achievement due to parents who work long hours.
Time for family life rather than childcare is so important if you can balance your working life. Nothing sadder than children's experience of family life being home at 6.00pm 'bath and bed', no time to eat and talk together, no time/energy for reading or a bedtime story. These children struggle to fulfil their potential and to build relationships.

What rubbish - you have no idea what you are talking about!

Jaag and Parker, ' what rubbish, you have no idea what you are talking about' - given my background, education professional for 30 years in a wide range of roles from early years teacher, to consultant in early years working with children in the PVI sector to headteacher. I certainly do know what I am talking about. Sorry if that doesn't fit with what you want to believe.

Milly you are making a whole host of sweeping generalisations in that comment.

You have absolutely no way of knowing why some, particular children have issues. No 2 people are ever alike, there is no "control" as there is with any scientific experiment. You cannot have the same child with the same parents and every other variable exactly the same, except for whether the parents work or not. Its just not possible. So for a professional to set out that These children struggle to fulfil their potential and to build relationships is ludicrous. Those children might have had exactly the same issues if they'd had both parents at home 24/7.

I'd take the money.

Never understood why people feel that a job/career gives them a feeling of being a person. You are a human being first. A job is a job.
Stop being a cog in the machine.

MillyDLA - sorry but your profile doesn't fit my DC's or the children of my friends and family who have worked full time.

Thank you all. I had a meeting with HR today. I will get my full redundancy pay plus holiday pay, thanks for reminding me to ask.
I've talked it through with my husband and we are going to take the leap.
Thanks again!

Defo do it that's a fantastic pay out play the stress and pressure of full time and having a little one in nursery such long hours could be an extremely stressful experience! (It was for me , I cried most days leaving my little one )

Parker - But fits the profile of many children and families in the schools and settings I have worked in over time.
Not a sweeping generalisation either namedchanged, in fact given my wide background less of a generalisation than those of you who talk about 'my family and friends'.

The reality is I have worked with children whose parents haven't time to hear them read or read a bedtime story, who don't feed them at home, leaving it to childcare providers, who can't make time to do homework, who admit they are too exhausted at the end of the working day to talk with their children. I have worked with settings who have children before school from 7.30am, give them breakfast, collect them after school and give them tea, keep them until 6.30pm and then even take them on to Brownies/guides, so parents only need to collect from Brownies at 7.30pm/8.00pm, take them home and put them to bed. How many different adults are involved with these children in just one day? This leads to children who don't build relationships as they have had contact with so many staff in childcare each day and over the years. This has led to attachment disorders. These children do have intervention and support from educational psychologists.
Having worked in a range of schools, in my experience, lack of parental support happens for various reasons. It is as common in some very professional families as it is in some of our most vulnerable families. The outcomes for children can be the same.

Brilliant go for it.....she who dares wins

I would take it and run.

Can your family manage on your husbands wage? If not you can budget, and give yourself a monthly wage out of the pay out and try to put some away in savings.

Have more time with your child and take your time looking for another job?

Take the money. I wouldn't regard any job that has 2 voluntary redundancy offers as secure and, as you say, if it comes to compulsory redundancy tr terms may just be the statutory minimum.

I would take it and have done myself.....I think you can get x amount tax free (used to be 30k) - you really want to take time working out your money - we paid off all debts bar the mortgage - increased insurance on dh -critical illness etc and worked out a pretty tight budget so in theory i could have 2 years out - childcare costs change at 2 and for you(in theory the 30hr funding will be in), in the end i didn't go back to 'work' for 6 yrs and went for a term time only part time job so earn a fraction of what i did but fits our family (I did child mind for a bit to earn some cash as felt weird not earning! but wanted to keep the freedom) I have probably been technologied /youngstered out of my previous career but the time with dc has been so worth it....I think I am very lucky

• however if you are not married I would get married as otherwise you are very vulnerable if things do not work out

I was made redundant whilst on maternity leave with my DS1 (now 24). At the time I worked in London and had kept my job open but it was unlikely I would have returned to that job and would have looked for work locally (I am a solicitor).

At the time financially both my DH and I needed to work. As it was with the redundancy money I was able to stay off work for 18 months rather than 6 and loved every minute that I spent as a SAHM then. I then went back to work. Luckily after DS2 was born we were in a much better financial situation to allow me to be a SAHM.

I have never once regretted it. If your baby will be a in a nursery from 7am until 6.30pm each day I would definitely take the money and stay home. That said I never judge anyone on what decisions they make. It must be what works for you personally and you as a family.

I am in the same situation as you having been offered voluntary redundancy. The offer is as generous. However, I am a lot older than you and do not think I could get a job on even 2/3rds of my current salary, and am about ten years off any planned retirement, so have declined.

In your shoes, with a bit of consideration over your DPs job, I think I would say yes. But think about it very carefully.

I took voluntary redundancy whilst on maternity leave, then had three children in five years. DH gave his career 100% and it realy soared. I kept a tight ship at home.
Then DH decided to set up his own company and gave me a role in it. Our company has done really well and we are retiring early on the profits.
But more importantly to me, my children are very secure and confident young people. And they are very good at relationships. I really feel they have fulfilled every bit of their potential.
Yes most kids who spend long hours in daycare turn out just fine. But I can think of at least a few cases in my circle where the child of lovely decent parents has spectacularly underachieved, or worse. And those kids were the ones who were in daycare for most of the time.

People like MillyDLA populate the Mail. Best to leave them to tend to the damaged distraught psychologically unstable dented children they are breaking their hearts over.

I am nowsitting with my dented damaged devastated DS now sobbing over a book as he toddles about reminiscing about his day with his childminder and 2 friends in our sleepy village doing lots of devastating crafts and being dragged to the messy church group. It's all very sad.

I myself am severely damaged. Both my Professor parents are actually robotic machines. While they built their academic careers I became a listless damaged soul.

Today as I develop my own academic career yet another Professor has been generated - another robotic individual who's child is being dented and psychologically scarred for life.

DS will need interventions. When we eat breakfast everyday and I sing to him in my mother tongue the wide eyed wonder in his eyes speak of sorrow - the sorrow and horror of then being sent away to his nasty childminder who bakes fucking cookies with him.

The sheer atrocity of it.

I shall look for a therapist right now. For myself (damaged by my Professor parents) and for DS (being damaged by Senior Lecturer me).

As Trump might say - "Very sad!"

Good luck Coastal. Sounds like a great result.

Jaag, very strange reaction to my professional experience. I have shared what I see and work with. 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks'

You are one whose protestations about the damaged children of working parents are so over the top that "too much" doesn't begin to cover it.

Please come to mine and witness the severe damage being inflicted on our beautiful boy.

You are, after all, the expert.

But you know what - at the end of the day - all you are - is - an internet random.

So, giving you the respect you deserve in that capacity - tataa!!

As I said, professional experience over a wide range of families, not a view based on one family. Tataa 😉