To take the money and go?

[Coastalcommand]

I've been in the same job since leaving university and I have always loved it.
In that time I've worked my way up to a good level of pain albeit with some fairly unpredictable at always very long hours. Given the current instability around Brexit my job is starting to look less secure, as is the whole sector I work for. For the second time in six months we are all being offered voluntary redundancy.
I'm currently on maternity leave and absolutely loving it, so much so that I've been dreading putting my baby into nursery when I go back to work.
There's also the issue that my husband and I both work long and often fairly antisocial hours so when I go back there will be a fair bit of juggling in terms of childcare and our little one will be in nursery from 7am-6.30pm five days a week.
The voluntary redundancy offer is really quite generous, over a years wages for me. I am tempted to take it, mostly because I'd love to spend more time with our baby but also because I suspect the next time redundancy looms (and I think it will) it may not be voluntary and the terms may not be as good.
We keep hearing that similar firms are now only offering statutory redundancy packages rather than our legacy terms.
Given that nursery fees would take up more than half my wages and we could live on my husband's wages (albeit not as easily) AIBU to take the offer?
Given that my industry is contracting I would be v unlikely to get a similar job. My plan would be to use the year I'd be paid to develop transferable skills and try to launch my own business in future.
Am I being stupid to leave a well paid job in this climate?

[Norma27]

Brilliant news! So pleased it is working out well xx

[Coastalcommand]

Thank you. Definitely the best decision I could have made.
Really helped having a supportive husband too.

[mikeyssister]

Fantastic update

[Coastalcommand]

Just a quick update. I took the money. Almost a year on now and I’m so glad I did.
I’ve started my own business and work part time. It’s a much better work/life balance.
Thank you for all your advice.

[Coastalcommand]

Thank you :) excited now!

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

Life is an adventure! A journey. Follow your dreams. You only live once.

[sunshineglitterprincess]

Your husband wants you to take it, you clearly want to take it, you are purely posting on here because your scared of the what ifs and want some moral support. You've got it, take the money, be happy and enjoy your dc.
I'm sure you didn't spend 8yrs ttc to only see your baby at the weekend. That time you will now have together is priceless

[pombal]

Take the money and look for something with better hours / part time.

It doesn't have to be SAHM or full time work with DC in nursery 12 hours/day.
Even if you don't have money after childcare costs you are keeping the door open for full time in the future if necessary.

This is just my experience and it's worked well. I've worked part time, done some extra courses and could go back in full time tomorrow if necessary.

I did work full time at the beginning but I found that covering school holidays, sickness, getting DC to sports/ play dates, doing homework with them was all a major PITA.

[omnishamblesssssssssssssss]

Go for it!

Split it so you've got a months break from work, then start planning the new project during her sleep times.

[Coastalcommand]

For those asking, yes we are married. Just wondering if it makes a difference or protects me in some way? Not that I'm planning a divorce or anything!

[namechangedtoday15]

Milly - you're derailing the thread. Noone is dismissing your professional experience of working with some children in some schools who have issues. What is wrong in my view is to make a generalisation that children of working parents will have issues / be under achievers / have difficulty forming relationships in later life.

[stroan]

I'd take it.

My employer offered voluntary redundancy while I was pregnant. It was almost a full years salary so I applied, however the scheme had too much interest and they shelved it.

Whilst on mat leave, my job was restructured and I'd have been demoted. Then my previously-promised part time request was denied along with a few other dodgy practises. Upshot was that HR re-offered the voluntary redundancy and I bit their hand off.

I used it to clear all our debts and save some for future nursery fees. I found a part time contracting role, which I could never have taken before. I love the flexibility, not having to care about anything but my project and the time off with DD. Redundancy gave me this opportunity.

[MillyDLA]

I don't need to defend my professional experience and knowledge. Certainly the educational psychologists as part of the team backed this view of the families in these circumstances that we have worked with.

It is interesting that these same families are also the most defensive, the most demanding, with the highest expectation of what school can provide to make up for home and also overreact due to their own guilt.
An example is when as a school we invite parents to an open event, during the day, something like an invitation to lunch for Mothers Day and even though this is extended to any female relative, friend or even setting staff member, these are the very parents who complain about it and ask for school to stop doing events in the daytime because they can't attend. No though for those who can attend.

[namechangedtoday15]

Honestly Milly, as I said before you cannot say with any certainty that a child with attachment disorders has developed those directly and only as a result of working parents. It might be for a whole host of reasons that you don't know about. Really, coming on a thread like this to spout about the damage all working parents are potentially doing to their children is just bizarre.

[MillyDLA]

As I said, professional experience over a wide range of families, not a view based on one family. Tataa 😉

[Jaagojaago]

You are one whose protestations about the damaged children of working parents are so over the top that "too much" doesn't begin to cover it.

Please come to mine and witness the severe damage being inflicted on our beautiful boy.

You are, after all, the expert.

But you know what - at the end of the day - all you are - is - an internet random.

So, giving you the respect you deserve in that capacity - tataa!!

[MillyDLA]

Jaag, very strange reaction to my professional experience. I have shared what I see and work with. 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks'

[NataliaOsipova]

Good luck Coastal. Sounds like a great result.

[Jaagojaago]

People like MillyDLA populate the Mail. Best to leave them to tend to the damaged distraught psychologically unstable dented children they are breaking their hearts over.

I am nowsitting with my dented damaged devastated DS now sobbing over a book as he toddles about reminiscing about his day with his childminder and 2 friends in our sleepy village doing lots of devastating crafts and being dragged to the messy church group. It's all very sad.

I myself am severely damaged. Both my Professor parents are actually robotic machines. While they built their academic careers I became a listless damaged soul.

Today as I develop my own academic career yet another Professor has been generated - another robotic individual who's child is being dented and psychologically scarred for life.

DS will need interventions. When we eat breakfast everyday and I sing to him in my mother tongue the wide eyed wonder in his eyes speak of sorrow - the sorrow and horror of then being sent away to his nasty childminder who bakes fucking cookies with him.

The sheer atrocity of it.

I shall look for a therapist right now. For myself (damaged by my Professor parents) and for DS (being damaged by Senior Lecturer me).

As Trump might say - "Very sad!"

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I took voluntary redundancy whilst on maternity leave, then had three children in five years. DH gave his career 100% and it realy soared. I kept a tight ship at home.
Then DH decided to set up his own company and gave me a role in it. Our company has done really well and we are retiring early on the profits.
But more importantly to me, my children are very secure and confident young people. And they are very good at relationships. I really feel they have fulfilled every bit of their potential.
Yes most kids who spend long hours in daycare turn out just fine. But I can think of at least a few cases in my circle where the child of lovely decent parents has spectacularly underachieved, or worse. And those kids were the ones who were in daycare for most of the time.

[ForalltheSaints]

I am in the same situation as you having been offered voluntary redundancy. The offer is as generous. However, I am a lot older than you and do not think I could get a job on even 2/3rds of my current salary, and am about ten years off any planned retirement, so have declined.

In your shoes, with a bit of consideration over your DPs job, I think I would say yes. But think about it very carefully.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

I was made redundant whilst on maternity leave with my DS1 (now 24). At the time I worked in London and had kept my job open but it was unlikely I would have returned to that job and would have looked for work locally (I am a solicitor).

At the time financially both my DH and I needed to work. As it was with the redundancy money I was able to stay off work for 18 months rather than 6 and loved every minute that I spent as a SAHM then. I then went back to work. Luckily after DS2 was born we were in a much better financial situation to allow me to be a SAHM.

I have never once regretted it. If your baby will be a in a nursery from 7am until 6.30pm each day I would definitely take the money and stay home. That said I never judge anyone on what decisions they make. It must be what works for you personally and you as a family.

[averythinline]

I would take it and have done myself.....I think you can get x amount tax free (used to be 30k) - you really want to take time working out your money - we paid off all debts bar the mortgage - increased insurance on dh -critical illness etc and worked out a pretty tight budget so in theory i could have 2 years out - childcare costs change at 2 and for you(in theory the 30hr funding will be in), in the end i didn't go back to 'work' for 6 yrs and went for a term time only part time job so earn a fraction of what i did but fits our family (I did child mind for a bit to earn some cash as felt weird not earning! but wanted to keep the freedom) I have probably been technologied /youngstered out of my previous career but the time with dc has been so worth it....I think I am very lucky

• however if you are not married I would get married as otherwise you are very vulnerable if things do not work out

[oneohfivethreeeight]

Take the money. I wouldn't regard any job that has 2 voluntary redundancy offers as secure and, as you say, if it comes to compulsory redundancy tr terms may just be the statutory minimum.

[sunshin3yellow]

I would take it and run.

Can your family manage on your husbands wage? If not you can budget, and give yourself a monthly wage out of the pay out and try to put some away in savings.

Have more time with your child and take your time looking for another job?