To ask if your 18 yos eat dinner at the table with you??

[NaxLee]

Thanks.

Rugbyplayersarehot I agree with "weird and controlling"! The only family I knew growing up who insisted their teenagers eat at the table at a set time every night were a weirdly twee and "perfect" family, it was the dad who was strict about mealtimes. About a year after the two kids left for uni the parents divorced and it turns out the dad had been having all these affairs and had been emotionally abusive and controlling towards their lovely mum. The perfect family illusion was just that - an illusion.

thank the lord for sparklingbrook

same answer for me, I thought everyone played happy families at meal times on mn, seems its different strokes for different folks

Yes. Dinner at dinner time at the table. (And the same for lunch). If he isn't there he is probably eating out, it's rare that he comes in later and reheats/ makes himself an omelette.

Often yet but we don't make a big deal of it.

If one or other teen is out, or DH or I are out. Or any permutation of family is out then that's fine.

I don't insist everyone is always available for dinner though. Why would I? I go out sometimes too.

We've got a 20 yo DS and a 22 yo DS. Right up until they joined the army/went to uni we all ate at the table together. Whenever they are at home we all eat together at the same time.

19 and 22 year olds both at uni but when they are home, we generally eat together. It's not a three line whip but unless someone is going out later and eating there or has already eaten then we eat together.

Whoevers cooking usually asks who is wanting dinner later. Kids are generally quite good at texting to say " actually I'm out" or " I'll be late so save me a plate".
Sometimes we have a TV dinner if there's a match or something on we all want to watch .
For some reason DS 19 who at 15 would have eaten every meal slumped over the play station is the one who usually suggests laying the table!

Yes, of course! Everybody who's home at the time eats together here.

Yes, if he's back from college in time.

If we are all in then yes we eat together well dinner anyway Dd1 works daft shifts Dd2 is in later some nights.

Ultimate mumsnet nono we have no table i know i know

We try to eat together at the table but sometimes other stuff gets in the way. DD2 works a couple of days a week and gets fed at work. Sometimes DH is working late - I try to feed the DC earlier and then I'll eat with DH and sometimes there just needs to be a meal that we can dish up and eat in the kitchen whenever.

We all eat together yes, just ds3-17 at home now and when the older two ds's come home we try to, depending on whether they're in or not.

Im not particularly fussed about it if people are out going out not hungry ive never forced it or got huffy about if

My oldest is 16. Like Haircut, there are various permutations: if DP or I are in and cooking dinner, then whoever is in the house is expected to come down and eat it. He's often home later than dinner in the week. Tonight he's away and DD1 has texted me to say she's revising with a friend and will eat there. So DD2 and I will eat anchovies, which DD1 doesn't like.

I wouldn't feed them early and hang on for DP, though.

No way. Very relaxed here. We have no table either!

Yes when here. They will ask when dinner is likely to ready and if they want to head out early they know to give notice!

Oh god we are not emotionally abusive or controlling. We like our food.

If we are all the house with no work / clubs / socialising / gym, then yes we do. That's 2-3 times a week (they are at their dad's for dinner 2 nights a week. They all eat together at the table too). DDs are 17 and 13

DD1-17 a will be 18 in May, always eats with us. It is our time to catch up as a family as we are all busy and DH and I both work FT.

Yes, every single day.

If I ask him to get his own lunch though, he will take it off to his room. Except sometimes he hangs around the kitchen, and then I begin to worry he wants something.

So today he hung around and I said; "You look like death! Have some vitamins."
He said people don't need vitamins if they eat properly.

I said "Exactly!!!" and nearly tried to force feed him some Marmite.

I'm not used to him actually responding to us during a meal, but he wouldn't not eat an evening meal with us.

After your LO comes install and live by the dinner rule. We did when I was at home but it's not the same now as oh works shifts.

Actually nobody is home yet dinner is almost ready i might be a rebel and have mine

Weird and controlling Odd thing to say - we just like it, there is no rule.
There was a period when DC were younger when they had sports or other activities that made it difficult. At 18 though they were more often than not at home until they both went to uni. They would let me know if they had other plans but wouldn't choose not to eat with the rest of us. Often it's the only time we are all together and can catch up.
Also we all enjoy food and experimenting with new dishes. DS loves cooking and whenever he's home from uni will want to cook his latest favourite for the rest of us.

I have to say I hated family dinners when I was 17. My mum was a terrific cook but we had to make stilted conversation. Loathed it.

'Family Time' can be grossly overrated. In fact just writing the words makes me shudder.