Smoking outside around children

[Avamh]

I'd really appreciate some opinions on this as I'm not sure what I should do.

My mother in law helps look after my toddlers for a few hours a week when I work. This week, as it's half term and their toddler group wasn't running, she took them to the park.

She smokes quite a lot which my husband and I don't like, but that's her choice. However, when she took them to the park the other day, a friend saw them and she was smoking while holding one of their hands walking towards the swings....

To me this is unacceptable. We let her smoke outside when she is at ours, I still hate the smell but she is doing us a favour so accept this, but to be holding a cigarette while holding their hand, this to me is so wrong.

AIBU to be angry at this and should I discuss it with her and ask her not to smoke at all around them?

Thank you!

Sorry, missed the word 'taking'

I am a Smoker and I wouldn't like this either OP

And if she is that fag addicted she won't easily cut down

I would never do that !

I'm a smoker. I agree with you and your friend. I only smoke outdoors but, if I see a parent and children approaching me, I stop puffing, step away from them and wait for them to have passed by before I continue.

I'd never do what your MIL seemingly does.

I would be mad as hell. Whether I would rock the boat or not is another matter. It's not just about what they are being chemicals calmly exposed to but it's demonstrating and normalising a very negative behaviour.

Why the name change OP?

misses point entirely

I would not like this at all, I don't really know how you tackle it though.
I saw a (presumably) grandma with grandchildren smoking whilst waiting at the end of the slide to catch child. I couldn't help but judge. I think because smoking in pubs/ restaurants etc is banned I'm so unused to seeing smokers now that I'm easily shocked, a few years ago we had a smokers staff room at work which is a hospital, this now seems unimaginable.

Name change as I fancied something different - thought it would update throughout the whole thread - quite new to Mumsnet message boards!

i think you are being precious and as a non smoker i see no harm in it. ok, it doesnt look good but this is your MIL, and I imagine she enjoys smoking.

leave her alone.

if she remains smoking heavily she wont be around for ever op that is a positive

she was smoking while holding one of their hands walking towards the swings....

no big deal

If someone 'smokes quite a lot' and looks after small children then either they're going to leave the small children alone to have a fag or they're going to take them with them.

I suppose it depends what you'd prefer. I suspect a couple of toddlers are at much more risk if you leave them alone while you go outside for about 10 minutes than they are if you keep your smoking to trips out.

I'm not a fan of smoking at all (hate the smell) but the smoking hysteria on MN is totally out of control. People live in the middle of cities and by massive main roads with trucks belching out all sorts of carcinogens but a granny having a sneaky fag on the way to the park needs castigating or firing? Really poor risk assessment

Hmm, I smoke but never in front of DS. I just don't think he should grow up thinking it's "normal" to smoke

If I was in this situation I would put my dc in nursery if their grandparents smoked, period.

Harsh but true.

I agree I wouldn't like someone smoking around my DC's; it's an awful disgusting habit. But I don't think you're in a position to dictate to your MIL on what she does, as she's really doing you a huge favour, so she could just turn round and tell you to find alternative arrangements for your child if you don't approve of what she's doing. TBH, smoking can happen anywhere outside, so your DC could just as easily inhale smoke from any passing randomer.

No she bloody well should NOT be smoking around the children, never mind you're own what about others. Oh and Tell Roy Castle s widow once in a while won't hurt. Even if she smokes outside she brings the toxins in on her clothing !!
Makes my blood boil that anyone allows this shit around children!

The woman smokes you are aware she smokes your friend is stirring it she was in the park with the kids what would you have said if she saw granny smoking and not been holding your dc hand?