to ask when you think its best to have a baby

[ijustheartdietcoke]

if u met your partner young ... when would you have ideally chosen to have a baby? He thinks best to try not but Im not so sure xx

H2B is older than me so its a bit complicated with that! Employer is used to working mums so thats all fine.

A cop out answer but, only you'll know. Some people on here have said they knew within months they were with the right person, others could be with the wrong partner for 10 years. In hindsight, I wish we'd had ours earlier (we were in our early 30's) & I consider myself an elder parent per se however, it's all down to preference & gut feel

My dh is 6 years older than me. Luckily earns very well and is quite happy supporting us all financially as long as I want to be a sahm. But you really need to want a baby too OP. Don't be coerced into it.

Try and time it so you're not hitting the menopause when the kids are hitting teens and elderly parents need care..

That's impossible
Who knows when (if) their parents will become infirm? Who knows when they will go through menopause? My mum went through menopause in her 50s, I know others who started in their 40s - it's very variable.

Doesn't have anything to do with parents anyway

I had mine at 24 and 26. Worked brilliantly for me. My best friend had hers at 36 and 38. That seems to be working very well for her.

There's no right or wrong.

I met my DH when we were 23/24. Got married at 28/29. First baby 30/31. It's up to you of course but it has worked well for us. Lots of time together pre-DC, but also not leaving it too late, risking fertility problems etc.

Do you feel like it's the right time op?
What about dh?

I met DH at 18. I'm 32 now and we've just welcomed our first baby.

He was unplanned, but I think he's come at a great time. I'm so glad I didn't do this in my twenties - I was far too insecure and anxious. Also, I know it's a bit shallow but I love being able to buy lots of nice things for him and that's only become possible for us in the last couple of years.

I don't have DC but when I "was" pregnant (suffered miscarriage) and engaged and planning a wedding at 21 that was probably the right time. In hindsight it wasn't as I didn't end up marrying my fiancé.

My DB and his wife (wife is now 34) wanted to start as soon as they got married eg when she was 29/30. Due to fertility issues they're now undergoing IVF. DB's BIL (SIL's DB) waited about 2 years I think before trying for a baby and the wife in question is 30 this month. They didn't even have to try though she got pregnant straight away!

I think you know when it's the right time but if you don't feel ready now then you have time on your side.

Best to conceive between ages 20-24.

I don't know the answer as I felt I wasn't ready for a long long time but now wish I started early as I wasn't ready because I was scared. The fear of the unknown held me back. I got married at 18 and had my first child at 33. I am currently pregnant and will be 35 when the baby is born. I do have a good career, own my own home and am financially stable. However, I feel these things don't compare to my now longing of having more children so I wish I started earlier so I could have more children. I guess it depends on you basically as no one can decide for you.

I had mine at 19 and 22. I was too young at 19, but financially settled with a mortgage at 22. It's all variable but the main factors are secure house, job and 100% wanting a child.

Racing, not flaming as such but your view of us older mothers is just as ignorant and stupid as some peoples views on young mothers being inept and to inexperienced to raise a child.. I conceived naturally, had a trouble free pregnancy, a 4 hour labour, vaginal birth with no pain relief and nothing a few stitches didn't sort out after. My figure is the same as before, I have no less energy on less sleep, have a 20 year career already done and enough financial security to not have to go back to work. Just saying.

I always wanted children young. I'm 31 and my oldest is 10 youngest is 7.

I plan to have a career later in life, when my children are older and I can focus 100%

Having worked in a hospital cleaning for 13 years I know now that nursing is the path I want to follow.

I think the questions you need to ask (yourself, no one else's business) are:
Is our home secure, do we have some savings, and is my job / workplace supportive?

You don't need to own your own home but how secure do you feel your rental is if (if you do rent)?

Savings aren't essential but ideally I'd suggest 6-12 months worth of rent / mortgage + bills saved up to make sure your mat leave is comfortable and not totally reliant on your OHs salary.
Also yes there's free cycle etc for baby stuff, and everyone will tell you that babies don't need a lot but they do need some stuff and cheap isn't free. Plus do you want to go down the beg / borrow / steal route (only joking on the begging & stealing) or so you want to buy new and pretty (often expensive) things?
There is no shame in wanting a bugaboo or a brand new mama's and papa's matching bedroom furniture set if that's what you want and can afford / save up for (although I went to Ikea for the cot as no way was I paying m&p prices not matter how pretty).

And finally what is your company's mat pay like? Is it just statutory mat pay and therefore can you afford to live on that (see first point about savings)?

We've been together since we were teens & we're 28 & 29 now & expecting our first baby. Twice in the past we decided it was the right time for us but it didn't work out for various reasons, & I think now that was probably for the best. This time around we are married, own our own home & we have better jobs, plus we had a good amount of years just us to travel & enjoy ourselves.

I'm sure we'd have been v happy if we'd have ended up with a baby at 23 like we first planned but it will be easier for us now. Also, what I didn't know back then was that none of our friends would have kids in their 20s so think we'd have been quite isolated!

I had my 3 at 19, 26 and 32. Definitely think mid twenties was the best time for me

I think this is so difficult.
I met Dh just before I turned 21, homeowners at 23, married at 28 and I've just found out I'm pregnant at 29. The pregnancy is wanted and planned but for years I've told myself i would probably take months/ years to fall pregnant it was completely the opposite and happened very quickly. It terms of our situation, the timing is perfect. Secure home, great jobs, married, no debts, savings. Being a parent daunts me but it feels like the right time. My only worries are mat pay as I'm self employed and the help you do get is rubbish, and maintaing my client base whilst taking a couple of months leave but it's likely I'm always going to be self employed so I could be waiting forever.

I had DS when I was 24, fell pregnant at 23. I definitely felt too young - there's a lot I would have liked to have done, on my own and with DH, that doesn't feel possible now. I think in an ideal world I'd have waited a few years, got through my degree and been on a few fab holidays first. I never wanted to wait too long though, and DS is amazing - sometimes you just have to take things as they come! I'm 27 now and expecting DC2 in July and this is the age I'd always imagined having my first - I don't actually feel any more sorted than I did at 23 though!

I've always known I'm with the right person, and he's proved it by being an excellent father to our DD but I got pregnant at 24 and had DD at 25 despite taking precautions.

I was terrified when I got that positive result and had doubts as hadn't done everything I wanted to do before children but oh my god the love I feel makes it all worth it.

I don't believe there is a 'right time' but there are definitely 'better times' and 'bad times' and I think most people just make it work.

I am now glad I had DD at the age I did because get to spend longer with her and I consider myself fortunate in that we aren't living in poverty and I am starting to look at going back to work part time (DD is 17mo) to get back some of the lifestyle we enjoyed pre baby.

I'm not rushing for no2 though

If you're getting married in May, why not do that first and then enjoy married life for a few months whilst you have some serious conversations about how it's going to work with jobs and childcare, household duties, paying for maternity leave, etc.

I think it is better to have s baby while you are young,i.e. the age you are now. I had my DD at 19 and I am so glad I did because by my late twenties I had developed serious health problems,that although they wouldn't have stopped me conceiving,would have made a pregnancy and looking after a baby and small child very difficult for me. As it was,my DD was 10 when I became ill and that was difficult enough,but at least at that age they possess a certain degree of independence.