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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No same sex civil partnerships

191 replies

Applebite · 21/02/2017 11:52

AIBU to wonder who would take this to Court? Surely the point of civil partnerships was to recognise FINALLY that gay people have the same rights and needs as hetero people?

Or am I missing something that you get in a civil partnership but not a marriage? I mean, I can see why you might not want to get married, and why you would think there should be more rights for "common law spouses", but would a civil partnership give you anything (or less of something) that marriage wouldn't?

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/21/heterosexual-couple-learn-outcome-civil-partnership-battle-court/

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 21/02/2017 13:15

I think that civil partnerships should be removed as an option for everyone. The vast majority of gay couples entering a partnership get married. I'm not sure who, if anyone, is still using the civil partnership option.
Civil partnerships are anachronistic and smack of historical inequalities.

user1487175389 · 21/02/2017 13:17

I think it's fine for straight couples to want civil partnerships too. Marriage has a really horrible historical undertone of male ownership and dowries. Civil partnerships are new, fresh, not religiously affiliated. It's a good opportunity to present an official rival to the institution of marriage - even if that's quite far from the original intention of civil partnerships.

BroomstickOfLove · 21/02/2017 13:17

Because sometimes people live in long-term and committed relationships and would like to have the legal security of a civil part ship but feel that certain assumptions are made about marriage which they want to avoid.

brittanyfairies · 21/02/2017 13:18

We have a civil partnership here in France, it was introduced for same sex couples but more and more heterosexual couples use it these days. I don't think it confers the same legal rights as marriage, but I think you can share your partner's healthcare rights. I think it also protects the individual assets of each party which is what would appeal to me as a property owner with children, I wouldn't want a partner taking my children's inheritance, but more importantly to me it can be dissolved with a simple letter. I'm all for it, I'll never get married again but would be quite happy to show a commitment to the other person this way.

DementedUnicorn · 21/02/2017 13:19

Civil partnerships were all bs anyway. Shouldn't have been introduced was just a way for the gov to cop out of allowing samesex marriage sooner.*

I married in Scotland but as I reside in NI, it is degraded to a civil partnership. It is insulting for people to say they're being treated unfairly because they can't have civil partnership. I'm stuck with it because marriage has been deemed too good for me Angry

picklemepopcorn · 21/02/2017 13:19

'I can understand why some people would choose civil partnership over marriage'.

But why?
What is the difference btn a civil partnership and a registry office wedding?

I get the difference btn a church wedding and a Reg office wedding, and can see why gay Christians want this.

I get why gay people would feel that CP was not enough, because they were still excluded from marriage (which is of course not right.)

Why would you want CP instead? What's wrong with registry?

picklemepopcorn · 21/02/2017 13:20

Ok I typed too slow... Thanks for explanations..

KnitMeAUnicorn · 21/02/2017 13:22

Depressing that we have to keep waiting, but it's clearly inevitable that CPs for opposite-sex couples will eventually be introduced.

I remember either starting or posting on threads like these 5, 6 years ago, and the swing in opinion from then to now is dramatic. It feels like the majority of people now agree this is a simple issue of equality, and nothing else.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/02/2017 13:22

Nobody has to have a wedding. A marriage ceremony in a registry office is totally secular and takes a few minutes. Cost of a marriage licence is currently £46. That's all it takes to get the legal protection of marriage. Civil partnership confers no advantage whatsoever and should be abolished. All the gay couples who went through a civil partnership ceremony before it became possible for them to marry should automatically upgraded to married. Next!

picklemepopcorn · 21/02/2017 13:22

Sorry unicorn. Flowers that's just not ....

Original poster
Applebite · 21/02/2017 13:24

That's my problem with this couple, dementedunicorn. It feels like they are just looking for more privilege than they already have somehow. I started the thread because I wasn't sure if my feelings about them were fair!

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 21/02/2017 13:24

Because with one, you are someone's partner, and with the other, you are their wife. And plenty of women want to be in a long term secure and committed relationship, but don't want to be a wife.

Original poster
Applebite · 21/02/2017 13:25

Does anyone know how I can ask HQ to change the title? Thx!!

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/02/2017 13:25

I am my husband's partner and he is mine. Wife and husband designate our sex, not our standing within the relationship.

PerspicaciaTick · 21/02/2017 13:29

The cost of a marriage license is currently £35 each to give notice of marriage, plus £46 for the ceremony and £4 for a certificate. Total cost £120. The cost is identical whether you have a civil partnership or a marriage.

KnitMeAUnicorn · 21/02/2017 13:33

It feels like they are just looking for more privilege than they already have.

It seems you don't actually understand the term 'equality', applebite.

Not special treatment.

Equality.

EveOnline2016 · 21/02/2017 13:33

I would have preferred a CP rather than a marriage, but with 2 children I really don't care because I now have the legal protection marriage offers.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/02/2017 13:33

Apols, I'm sure you're right, Perspicacia. Still a bargain.

BroomstickOfLove · 21/02/2017 13:33

It costs considerably more than £46 to get married, but I don't think a CP is any cheaper. And anyone who had a CP before they were legally allowed to marry should have the option of converting the partnership to a marriage for free. But I think it would be absurdly outrageous to automatically convert civil partnerships to marriages without the explicit consent of both partners.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/02/2017 13:39

Perspicacia has set it out above. £120 in total is what it costs. Why would you think it costs more? Nobody is forced to dress up, have a party or any of the other enormously expensive trimmings the wedding industry have hypnotised people into thinking are essential.

PerspicaciaTick · 21/02/2017 13:45

I don't think existing CP's should be automatically converted. But no new CPs should be entered into.

Megatherium · 21/02/2017 13:47

It would be perfectly straightforward to abolish civil partnerships for the future but to recognise the validity of existing civil partnerships.

TheCraicDealer · 21/02/2017 13:50

I don’t quite understand the distinction with not wanting to get married due to all the historical baggage that comes with it, but being happy with a CP which was an institution purely borne out of an unwillingness to confer the word ‘marriage’ on same sex couples. Neither is great tbh and if it was possible I would think they should just get rid of the CP option altogether.

Marriage is what you make of it; you can see it as simply a legal document and keep your status on the DL, you can go the whole shebang and promise to love, honour and obey, or anything in between. And with reference to the ‘partner’ tag rather than ‘husband/wife’, plenty of same-sex couples in CP’s used the traditional option. It was a hard won right, which those in NI still don’t have, and there must be people in the LGBT that are pretty [eyeroll] about this whole thing.

Original poster
Applebite · 21/02/2017 13:51

I understand the term, knitted. I don't understand spending that sort of time and money to pursue it when you're already in a privileged position.

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 21/02/2017 13:52

I didn't say it costed more. I cross posted with PerspicaciaTick. And the pressure doesn't come from the wedding industry. Have you seen the number of threads on here where people are castigated for getting married without inviting their parents or siblings (or sometimes children/stepchildren) Parents and siblings in my registry office would be an extra £500.