If your parents took you to do sports/ music / dance...was it worth it?

[upwardsandonwards33]

Or indeed if you have ferried your now older children to e.g ballet/ swimming / brownies/ instrumental tuition...
Do you think it paid off?
My dd are young but I can see that there will be more of this in the years ahead.
What did you get out of it all if you went to a myriad of clubs as a child or what did your dc get out of it (if they are now 16 yrs +)?

Lots of friends, lots of fun, an appreciation for team sports etc.

All that said, if I can manage it, all the kids do their activities at the school as part of their after school activities.

I was sent to clarinet, singing, chess, karate, swimming, horse riding, drama, hockey, netball, ballet, guides, and more. As a result I'm not really good at any of them apart from horse riding and singing where I had a natural aptitude.

I think encouraging a child to find something they love and to stick with it is incredibly important - it's how you meet friends, learn discipline, relax, compete and integrate. With the exception of swimming, which to me is a compete must and a necessity, I don't think there's any benefit in forcing your child to go to hundreds of things just to make them 'socially well-rounded'. Let them find and interest or two and encourage and support that instead.

I'm glad my parents took me to swimming lessons. It's a life skill and I now enjoy swimming. It's where I put the world to right!!!
I also went to guides and rangers . Learnt a lot and still have friends .
Ds1 is very active. Swimming lessons ( he enjoys these), taekowndo ( just passed his black belt, not sure how much longer his interest will last, I am happy he has his black bet and happy for him to continue while the interest is there), army cadets he's just started and loves. He enjoys learning how to use a radio and he also likes drill ( he's odd!!) , scouts he loves and says army cadets and scouts are similar and he gets more out of each by going to both. AFL ( Aussie rule football) he plays in the winter. He loves this. Nippers ( surf life saving in the summer) . He doesn't want to return next year. However I think this would be a shame as he can get his SRC next year. However I'll not push if he doesn't want to do it.
Ds 2 has swimming lessons and goes to boot camp! He went to cubs but is to old now. He doesn't want to go to scouts. He is austic and has a pacemaker, so these activities are just enough for him

Should add when I was younger I wanted to do drama and ballet and learn the electric guitar. Dm made me from 11-15 learn the organ.
She then spent the whole time being disappointed that I never practiced unless shouted at to practice or telling me how much the lessons/instrument had cost and I was not showing enough gratitude.

I was forced to play football every Saturday. Hated every fucking second of it and still hate football to this day.

I was a waste of money although I guess I enjoyed it at the time.

I did violin lessons for years when I was at primary school, got bored of them eventually and gave it up, now as an adult I don't have a clue how to get even a single note out of a violin!

I did swimming lessons for several years and never overcame my fear of deep water ("deep" just meaning out of my standing depth!) so never progressed.

I did a few years of keyboard lessons and the teacher was quite pants, although I was fairly okay at it, I didn't make any progress.

I did Rainbows/Brownies but the Brown Owl was awful so I got fed up as I got older, and never progressed to Guides.

Looking back I definitely appreciate the time and effort my parents put in to our activities. As previous posters have said, the opportunity to share an interest with like-minded peers, to regularly interact with a non-school group of children, and to have the satisfaction of spending time on and improving in areas where I had a genuine interest were hugely valuable.

I started after school drama classes when I got old enough that playing "pretend" without an excuse became socially uncool. After a few years I lost interest, but the skills and confidence I got from drama definitely helped me when I took up debate as an activity in school and university, and having done debate definitely helped me in law school and my legal career.

There wasn't any way that anyone could have known that's how it would work out when I was seven, though. It could have been art class (I quit as soon as I could), swimming (I stuck with it for years, and as someone who always hated school sports it was great for my fitness), after-school science classes from the local museum (I remember "Slimy Things" and "The Science of Crime Solving" with particular fondness, but I was always going to be more of a humanities person), or music lessons (I really liked my teacher and playing in school ensembles, but in retrospect the flute was not the right instrument for me) that stuck with me.

In most cases, I think you'll have a hard time drawing a straight line between childhood activities and measurable success in later life, but in terms of generally enriching children's views of the world and developing "soft skills," they can be fantastic. Obviously, there's a balance to be struck between activities, free play time, and family life, but for a child who is happy and engaged and getting something out of them, I think they're worth the parental effort.

I'm with bert - if they enjoy it do it, if you don't then don't force or cajole.
I think sometimes it becomes the parents social life so it's them that are reluctant for the child to drop it as they would no longer have an excuse to chat with other mums say on the touch line or whilst waiting for a class.

I did horse-riding, trumpet, choir and tennis as a child. I was also in the Woodcraft Folk. I also at various points did art clubs, swimming, holiday sports clubs and theatre clubs. Most of these I enjoyed.

I agree with people who say don't push your child if they have no interest in something. I hated tennis but my DM wouldn't let me give it up until I was 14. On the other hand, I think being encouraged to do some physical activities made me slightly fitter and more agile than I would have been otherwise so I think her intentions were good.

Agree about the importance of friends outside school (esp around 12-14 when friendships can be drama-filled).

This is an interesting discussion though because I went to quite a middle class school and it was normal for people to be doing all these extra curricular activities (I was a slacker compared to most!) but my DP most definitely did not go to that type of school and he doesn't really have hobbies and neither do his friends. So I wonder if that starts young and then it's just seen as normal to do stuff after work etc. Plus obviously my parents could afford for me to do these things and I realise now how lucky I was.

Large extended family, here, lots of different personalities, lots of different outcomes.

One nephew is now at conservatoire and loving it- so obviously he feels his music lessons were worth it.

Dd has just got into drama school and is over the moon about it- so again, one that doesn't regret her ballet lessons or youth theatre.

I felt that perhaps my music lessons were a waste in one sense (small disability means I was never going to learn to play the piano or the guitar), but it has made me a much better listener, so very worth while in that respect.

Ds didn't like anything he tried, so perhaps feels it was wasted- though who knows what he's going to think in a few years' time.

One db went on to coach youngsters in a sport he enjoyed, which gave him a lot of pleasure, another db has coached his sons.

I think the important thing was the most of what we did was joyful: we were allowed to give up without feeling we were failures but anything we did want to do was celebrated as adding to the life of the family.

At the same time, neither I nor my parents have been able to offer lifts (no car), so extra-curricular activities have always been limited to what was available locally and/or on public transport. So no wearing ourselves out as taxi services.

Goingonabearhunt I think you might be right. Part of enjoying life and finding meaning is in doing things you enjoy in leisure time. Some of that enjoyment is a learned skill - which is why I think musical instruments, sports, arts etc etc need to be learnt and then can be enjoyed later on (I'd love to tinkle on a piano or strum a guitar but for some reason I learnt recorder...).

Same for classical music, art, opera or sports- you enjoy it because you've learnt about the pleasures of the complexities of it over years. This is why school curriculum should include these things for all. The current idea that you wouldn't continue sports/music unless you'd be able to have a career in it is wrong. All these things have value and I think middle classes don't realise how much those that can't afford it lose out - not least in the enjoyment of life as an adult.

Having said that lots of these activities are free or have bursary schemes - but maybe it's the time that's not affordable for parents on low incomes - ferrying around isn't possible if you're working at that time is it... sorry I'm thinking aloud and I'm realising what a big issue this is

Great thread

It's one thing to give children ideas and let them try things, but quite another to get them to do it because hobbies are thought of as a enriching experience. They only work if you like them. Also hobbies can be very insular and singular, rather than done in a group. I sometimes feel that these hobbies are somewhat neglected if you are only busy pursuing socially based hobbies in groups.

I loved music and sport then, and still love it now.

It was the most fun part of my childhood - and probably the most fun I have now, come to think of it!

I wouldn't have tried half the things I've tried as an adult if I didn't have that experience in childhood - of being a beginner, being part of a team, being willing to fail or look silly.

So yes. Definitely worth it.

Agree Girlwho It probably does give you confidence to try things later as well I imagine if you have tried lots of things as a child.

girl I think you enjoy things because you enjoy them. Knowing a lot about something doesn't necessarily translate into enjoyment of it!

I was desperate to do any kind of extra curricular classes or hobbies when I was a child....my parents both worked full time, I was a latchkey kid and spend the summer holidays in the home alone. I read a lot which I still do, and I'm quite a solitary introverted type (which I am comfortable with!) But I wonder if I would be any different had I been allowed to go to gymnastics or take part in team sports which I so desperately wanted. I don't blame or resent my parents for it at all as I think all that time alone made me very independent and resilient. For my children though, I will do what a can to facilitate their interests....I won't allow them to undertake a myriad of different things though!

It depends, I had piano lessons but I was more a play by ear girl so did them for a few years then stopped.

Had swimming lessons with my brother but then the swimming club wanted us to compete and we weren't competitive so we stopped after a while.

I did do gymnastics as a 5 year old but again it was more about competing less about fun and my hand to eye coordination wasn't great as a young child.

I did do ballet though from age 5 up until 14. That was useful and I did the grades and exams. I also did horse riding from 8 to 15, had a share of a horse and that was good from the perspective that I can ride a horse now.

I also did drama and art classes with my mum who was a drama and arts teacher and ran both clubs in our house and in a local school on saturday mornings. To be honest with you I'm not arty or great at drama!

My brother had various lessons, violin (gave up), diving and guitar. He did really well at guitar, got an electric guitar played in bands etc but doesn't really play it now!

I do think it's better if you have an interest and talent. I didn't mind the ballet but sort of felt obliged to do it after a while and especially the grades I'd achieved eg to do better whereas I preferred riding far more.

headofthehive well yes for some things but I do think you need to educate your senses to enjoy something.

Music in particular makes your brain form connections it wouldn't otherwise have. Your brain then recognises those patterns and learns to enjoy them (I think this is true of any music - classical or thrash metal). Similar is true of everything from enjoying food to art or sport. If you don't know the nuances of football you won't enjoy it I certainly don't

I wasn't forced to do anything. But my parents did take me to karate for several years (because I wanted to do it). I was training 8 hours a week at one stage and preparing for the blackbelt exam, only for it to fall by the wayside when I went to university - big regret now. Anyway, I really enjoyed it because it was my choice of activity, something I wanted to do.

At the moment, DD (4) does swimming (I want her to learn as it's an important life skill, but she does also enjoy it) and Rugby Tots. Rugby Tots was something she asked to do. I think it is great and really well-run, but if she ever decides she doesn't want to do it any more, or if she decides she would prefer to do something else, we'll stop. I don't see the point if she's being forced to do it.

My 7 year old daughter does swimming lessons and has just moved from Rainbows to Brownies, which are sort of mandatory to get her different range of friends/skills but other than that if she asks to do an after schools club we let her - she's done two terms of judo, two terms of musical theatre, three terms of gym club, one term of computer skills, and second term of French club. She gets to chose whether to continue with them for the next term or not, it's her way of discovering what she likes to do, is good at and wants to continue with.

girl I'm afraid I suffered from having my senses educated as you put it in ballet and classical music. Neither of which I enjoy much to my parents dismay!

I had (have) very loving parents who taught me all the life lessons, swimming, riding bike etc but as a shy child the solution to the inevitable 'I don't want to go dancing anymore' moans were that I could give it up if not happy. I'm convinced that this has held me back in life. I've done well academically but lack any drive and inner passion for anything. And as others have said, most of my friends were school based so I spent a lonely time growing up when the inevitable teenage squabbles started. Thankfully moving away and going to university helped with that! But I do wonder what my life would be like if my parents had pushed me just a little bit.
My daughter now does dancing, swimming, gymnastics and French classes and loves them all and mixes with some lovely children outside of school.

I think it's important to allow your children to explore the world for themselves rather than just take your child to the activities that you enjoyed.

My parents encouraged me to find a sport I enjoyed and then ferried me around. I did dancing and swimming. I think they wanted exercise to form a regular part of my life. It worked and I still enjoy both sports. They also widened my social circle beyond school, which was good for me.

I wanted to do it, as did my sis. There's no point forcing it. With my kids I will be encouraging them to do something - ie to find some form of (preferably) physical activity they enjoy.

Music - I will wait to see if they show any interest. No point forcing it.

I done piano, clarinet and gymnastics but only because of free opportunities, we could never have afforded to pay for it. I never really benefitted long term from any of it though and now have no interests, hobbies or talents. My own dc have never shown any interest in anything either but its no big deal to me/them