If your parents took you to do sports/ music / dance...was it worth it?

[upwardsandonwards33]

Or indeed if you have ferried your now older children to e.g ballet/ swimming / brownies/ instrumental tuition...
Do you think it paid off?
My dd are young but I can see that there will be more of this in the years ahead.
What did you get out of it all if you went to a myriad of clubs as a child or what did your dc get out of it (if they are now 16 yrs +)?

My dcs are 13 and 10. We have done Suzuki violin since they were each 4 and I don't regret the time, effort or money we have put in to it.
My 13 year old is grade 8 standard, part of local and a national orchestra and the younger one is following in her footsteps. My dc have already said they appreciate it all and would do the same with their own children. Although they don't enjoy practising much, they do enjoy playing their violins and performing.
My parents tried to get me in to music as a child, but I wasn't lucky enough to land as brilliant teacher as my children have now and I do regret not working harder - I didn't get very far.

Yes. The stuff my mum ferried me to has given me lifelong sporting hobbies, an easy way to make friends in new cities, and some cracking laughs along the way.

I will be doing the same for my dc

Depends what you mean by paid off. If you mean did I turn out to be a world class piano player/horse rider/martial artist then no. If you mean did I enjoy those hobbies and do I feel that they taught me skills that have gone on to benefit me in other areas of my life then yes.

We are only halfway there to finding out if it's worth it...but one thing I am pleased about was taking dd to 'Soccertots' aged 3 at the local leisure centre, then onto the after school football clubs...now age 13 she plays for a club in the local league and it is an important part of her identity and her life. She has gained so much from football. She has musical ability, but as pp have said, struggled with practising and therefore didn't get too much from piano and flute lessons really...but now she has taken up an instrument she is really into and is 'learning how to learn', by using her grade books, you tube videos, the accompanying cd, amd practising every day. I call that a useful life skill.

It's worth it if they enjoy doing it at the time. A vanishingly small number will go on to be professionals, so that's the wrong way of looking at it. Are they enjoying it and learning from it today? If so, carry on. If not, not.

We mainly went down the music route. When children are reluctant to practise, and the parent is trying to get them to practise, it does have a negative effect on family life. My DD is v musical, but the reluctance to practise never went away. So I regret that to some extent. On the other hand she had a great time playing in music groups and going on music holidays,and that kind of things develops confidence, team-working, etc. And she also got a very good music scholarship to private school. With a v musical child, you could see it as a risk that they may end up wanting a music career - which is not necessarily a good choice.

I was forced to do music lessons for years. Hated it, was no good at it, completely lost it all again in no time when I stopped and have never tried again. I would have loved to do hobbies with other people, sports, dance etc but never given the opportunity. So my DCs can do anything they want and I can manage, but no pressure.

Yes, my Dad took me everywhere when I was little and completely spoiled me rotten with cultural opportunities.
It paid off because I got to see that there was more to life than getting married and living on a council estate like most of my peers did.
I managed to get out of the small town with no opportunities or future.
I am eternally grateful.

We have done the same for our dc, the older ones played hockey.
The youngest is a gifted musician who we have supported and continue to support for as long as she needs it.
It's her life, and has been since she was about 3.

Very interesting posts. I take 4 yo dd to swimming as I think it's an essential life skill. Also ballet which she loves and she does pre school gymnastics as it gives her body confidence. She is already very sociable and I love that she has the opportunity to do things that I didn't get the chance to do. I did play the violin but wasn't any good at it.
I expect I will take her to a Brownies type group and piano at some stage. It will be interesting to see how dd2 who is only 1.5 yo will turn out.
I would of course be delighted if either of them were the next Darcey Bussell or Rebecca Adlington but also happy if these sports/ music/ clubs gave them social confidence and life skills.

I have to agree with Bert
As long as they are happy then it's all worthwhile.
When they no longer want to practice and it becomes a battle, then the kids are doing it for the parents and that isn't healthy.

I started riding age 3. I taught my husband. My son rides, My grandchildren ride and my great granddaughter is now learning. Horses are a huge part of our lives

My DM ferried me back and forwards to ballet lessons twice a week. She never got to don her tiara at my opening performance as the prima ballerina but I had fun and I still have good posture today. Also brownies and guides gave me lots of opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise (my first trip abroad was with the guides).

One of my DCs loves sport and does lots of activities, the other is dyspraxic so although unlikely to ever be a serious competitor still enjoys a few selected activities and has developed a self esteem building level of competence at them.

So I think that as long as the DCs are enjoying them, a few outside school activities are a good thing.

Absolutely.
I've always encouraged hobbies and ferried my boys to various things over the years.
It kept them busy and out of trouble, ds2 did martial arts which helped when he was bullied. Ds3 did dance and did classes with the royal ballet, has danced in many professional shows including with the Moscow ballet and in Pantone with Wayne sleep. We travelled the country doing competitions and it was very bonding.
Dd1 also dances and has done lots of shows and comps, has loads of lovejy friends too.
She has recently had a miserable time at school and her dance teacher and friends have helped her through it, she now has the chance to go to a performing arts school and get away from the school bullies. She intends to travel the world dancing.
Dd2 is only 6 but already has the dance bug and it gives her confidence and me a two hour break on a Saturday.
I'm like a taxi, spend lots of money but wouldn't change a thing.

I used to hate that weekly struggle to entertain the baby / toddler whilst older one had swimming lessons / needed help or at least nagging to get dressed after, but I would 100% do it over again. Not only do my oldest 2 earn their keep as lifeguards, but it has enabled all 3 of them to do so many activities as teens - sailing, kayaking, etc., as well as all the fun they've had on holidays and all those times they've gone swimming for fun with friends in junior school and into their teens, plus, fitness for them all.

Scouts however have been the best thing for all my dc. The opportunities they've had, the friends they've made, and the confidence and skills they've gained are just immeasurable and well worth all those muddy clothes washes and chaffeuring about that we've done.

I had Maths tutoring from being 8. By the time my GCSEs came round I was having extra Maths, extra Science and extra French, and music lessons. It was not fun!

My parents worked very hard to afford for me to go ballet lessons. It definitely "paid off" at the time, as I enjoyed it so much. I attended ballet lessons several times a week for fifteen years at my dance school, then carried on at a ballet social society when I went to uni. Now that I'm back in my home town, I attend adult lessons as often as I can at the same school- one of my friends from my grade bought the business when our principal retired.

As an adult, I definitely consider that my ballet lessons have "paid off", and I'm very grateful to my parents for helping me to attend for so long, and buying endless uniform and costumes! The particular skill which stands out to me was learning resilience- very few times are you able to perform a step perfectly on the first try. So you have to practise and practise and work hard to get it right. There is little instant gratification, but a great feeling of success when your teacher finally praises you for getting it right. I don't feel that many children are taught that skill anymore.

I also have good posture thanks to ballet! Though my feet are ugly as hell thanks to pointe shoes- they need lots of work to get them sandal-ready in summer!

The best way in which it's paid off is the great sense of community through my ballet school. I help out at shows, festivals and exams with other ex-students now, and you get to know all the mums who routinely help behind scenes, who remember you being a senior dancer when theirs were the tiny ones, and now their daughters are the beautiful leggy ones in their pointe shoes and gorgeous tutus. Lots of us have started to have our own now as well, so the cycle will start again soon. It's honestly such a proper little community, and that's definitely made it all "pay off" for me.

My DD does a lot of stuff out of school, and just finds it fun - she never wants to give anything up but tries to squash more in!

She's not an expert at anything and I don't see her following any of her current activities as a career but it's more about giving her different experiences to try.

She is always willing to do homework and practice (she is learning an instrument) though, it's not a case of being pushed - I'm not up for that at all. It is all just for fun. What does she get out of it - a good experience, a bit of confidence and the chance to mix with a wider group of peers than at school.

My mum spent our whole childhoods taking me and my siblings to ballet, tap, modern dance, swimming, gymnastics... we also all did piano and drama/elocution lessons and my other siblings were taught extra instruments as well as playing in various bands. Every night Including weekends I was off to a different lesson/recital or waiting/watching a siblings do theirs. Apart from drama and at some points dance lessons I hated every minute of it. I had no choice whether I wanted to do it or not and I have to say the stress of not being good enough or having the freedom to stop the classes really affected me. My mum had none of these opportunities so if I voiced my dislike of them I was 'unappreciative' and 'didn't grasp how much she was sacrificing' for us to go.

That being said, my niche career is now directly linked to having elocution and drama lessons for such a long time and I wouldn't do nearly as well at it if I hadn't had those lessons.

I would now never push my child to do extracurricular things they don't want to do but if they have a talent or enjoy a particular hobby I will definitely encourage them with it. I am definitely a more confident, well rounded person from doing all these classes but I wish I had more of a childhood. I think I spent half of it being driven around from town to town.

Swimming is obviously pretty vital (especially for me, I should have a badge for every northwestern body of water I've fallen in). I enjoyed gymnastics but not obsessively - I quit when it got too serious and no fun and that was OK with my mum. It's left me really flexible which has to be good, Anna was great exercise and social skills building as a kid.

Horse riding was my favourite - it taught me how to be brave, physically and mentally. I really needed to learn that and it's helped me to realise all the different ways you can be brave. I haven't ridden for years but I suffer mediumly from anxiety issues and the mental overcoming skills I learned were invaluable.

*and. I don't know who Anna is...

I agree with Bertrand that if they enjoy it, that's enough. Also when they're bigger, keeping them busy and out of trouble definitely has its merits.

I was a precocious reader and super-academic at school. I think music and my sport helped give me a sense of identity that wasn't linked to essay marks. I wasn't "just a nerd".

I think it's important to give children the opportunity to try things to see what they are good at and what they enjoy.

OP I could have asked the same question this evening after ferrying and feeding and taking and fetching! Last activity finished at 8.45pm this evening and I'm about there thinking it's too late - but I think DC is getting value from it so having seen this thread I guess I'll suck it up.

It's very hard to juggle it all though - and we don't have something every night. One DC is potentially upping his activity to three times weekly and I am dreading the juggling if he does - but they will have chcosen him so I guess that means he is worth choosing - therefore A Good Thing.

A close relative spent many years doing an intensive sport with his DC - I'm not 100% sure he doesn't regret the travel and weekends lost

It's worth it if they enjoy doing it at the time

Hmm. See, my boys find piano hard. They don't really enjoy practising; and when they are learning a new piece, the struggle can make them quite cross and upset. Neither of them, I am convinced, will end up a pianist, and we are all happy with that.

But being able to play - that, they enjoy. And every time they make a leap, that's a delight for them.

And, frankly, they don't find much else they are exposed to at the moment especially hard, nor get the corresponding thrill from having mastered it. I think that matters. I realise that piano is not the only way to counter this.

It's an interesting balance for me, as a parent - and also, as a human being for whom music is really important, and who regrets never having really put the effort in to be a properly competent player.

I won't force them if it is making them properly miserable - of course I won't. But at the moment, at age 12... I am not letting them give up, even though it often makes them cross and grumpy, and even though I could really, really use not spending the money. Because I honestly think that it's "paying off", for them.

Interesting thread. General consensus seems to be ;
If they like it, then absolutely yes.
If they don't like it, then absolutely not!