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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to storm down the hospital and act like a raving lunatic?

74 replies

toffeepuddin · 19/02/2017 19:54

Because that's what I feel like.

My consultant told me to book a hysteroscopy (camera in womb) before I book my IVF. I got told at the reception it was to be16th March and she wrote it down on a card for me. I went ahead and booked my IVF, due to start meds on 31st March.
Received a letter yesterday morning to confirm my hysteroscopy appointment on the 30th March I hope to god its a typo, not only am I on my period then but its when I'm due to start the meds.
If they don't rectify this and say "oh sorry its all fully booked now", it would hold up my treatment which I've been waiting years for. I'm going out of my mind with worry.

OP posts:

Blastandtroph · 19/02/2017 20:10

Although I'd expect an explanation as to why the 16th has (if it has) been removed to the 30th, with respect you were cutting it fine as elective procedures often get moved. Obviously if you are a private paying patient this is perhaps an administrative issue? Without knowing your history, awaiting the results from you hysteroscopy might be beneficial prior to commencing IVF.

Original poster

toffeepuddin · 19/02/2017 20:14

Once I had told the nurse, it was the 16th and my ivf meds were to start the 30th, she said that's enough time between to adjust any medication that u might need for ivf. The consultant specifically said to the nurse, book her in for hysteroscopy but I don't want it holding up her IVF. People wait years to get to the point of booking the IVF, its a very long procedure, so surely they cant just move an appointment without thinking of the affect it can have on peoples treatment schedules.

OP posts:

mineofuselessinformation · 19/02/2017 20:16

Call the hospital first thing tomorrow, ask for the consultant's secretary. Explain what you've said here and ask what they're going to do about it. Get the secretary's name and direct dial number so you can phone again if necessary.

Nomoocluck · 19/02/2017 20:19

No point worrying just ring and check tomorrow. A number of trusts have cancelled elective work currently to deal with emergency bed pressures so it may be a matter of resources being moved around to cope with emergencies.

Allthewaves · 19/02/2017 20:24

Ring and check. Clinics can be cancelled for a number of reasons though

Original poster

toffeepuddin · 19/02/2017 20:25

If I phone, ill get passed from pillar to post and get a "we'll ring you back" response. Nomo I wont be taking up a bed if you like, its a 20 minute procedure and ill be in and out. I have anxiety through years of infertility, and sitting back not worrying is just not option

OP posts:

chickensatay · 19/02/2017 20:28

I would phone tomorrow and confirm the appointment time. If it is the 30th ask if there is any chance you could change the date. If not let them try and get them to call you back and in the meantime contact your consultants secretary who can try to push things along/ sort it out for you. Whoever is doing the list on the 16th may have a patient who can wait and be bumped to the 30th. Fingers crossed it all works out.

Blastandtroph · 19/02/2017 20:29

Surely they can't just move an appointment without thinking of the affect it can have on peoples treatment schedules.

They can I'm afraid OP and it is the reality the NHS is facing every day. If you've got a spare hour or so, I'd recommend watching the BBC2 series The Hospital. It's sobering watching.

Nomoocluck · 19/02/2017 20:32

I know you aren't taking up a bed for a hysteroscopy but they may be redeploying staff elsewhere. Just a possible scenario that's all. Ring the Consultants secretary - as pp said that's your best bet.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 19/02/2017 20:33

Completely off the point but how do they know you need IVF if you haven't had a hysteroscopy yet? I had one, with a laparoscopy, and didn't know there was even an issue at the point.

I'd phone first thing, insist you need to speak to someone, and very firmly remind them of what you were told about it not delaying the IVF and why on earth is your appointment is 2 weeks after it is supposed to be.

TheWoodlander · 19/02/2017 20:36

If it's NHS, it won't be a typo. This is happening all the time now - NHS are in crisis.

DS is on medication, and his appointment was bumped. The consultant hadn't had her contract renewed, all appointments were bumped, even though we were told his medication shouldn't lapse.

I fortunately had the PA's direct line, and she was lovely and helpful, and got me an earlier appointment - but noone else I spoke to ever knew what was going on. I was told "I can't deal with that" and "oh, I'm not at my usual desk at the moment, so I can't do that" by ringing the number on my appointment letter. It's chaos - Passed pillar to post is right OP.

If you have the consultant's name, you could ask for the PA's direct line?

But don't go mad at them - it must be bloody awful for the staff too.

NotStoppedAllDay · 19/02/2017 20:38

they can cancel for a number of reasons, right up to the day its booked

its the way it is with the nhs. going private would be best option i should think

NotStoppedAllDay · 19/02/2017 20:39

and yes,yabu to think about storming down there. not the staffs fault, they take enough abuse from the public as it is!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 19/02/2017 20:45

Going to the hospital now is not going to help you. No-one will be able to help. Call or go down tomorrow.

wickerlampshade · 19/02/2017 20:48

AIBU to storm down the hospital and act like a raving lunatic?

Yes. It's the quickest way to put backs up and make people not want to help you. Ring up, be polite but persistent and go through PALS if you don't get anywhere. Budgets are being cut all over the place and a hysteroscopy for IVF may well be bumped for a hysteroscopy that is looking for something clinical.

Could you afford to do the hysteroscopy privately if needed to faciliate the NHS IVF?

Italiangreyhound · 19/02/2017 20:49

toffeepuddin calm, really try and be calm, I know what it is like to have anxiety and to have IVF, although not at the same time, but please stay calm.

If you can practically go to the hospital tomorrow, and wish to, then do.

If not call.

I would suggest you start out polite pointing out the problem and asking for confirmation this is a mistake etc.

If it is not a mistake ask to speak to someone more senior and if necessary speak to the patients representative/patients champion etc.

If there is a big problem and it is necessary, could the nurse at the IVF clinic contact the hospital for you?

I had a procedure on the NHS before our IVF treatment. It was very stressful getting there and getting it done but it was quick and easy and soon sorted.

Please try and be calm, I know it is not easy, just make a plan, write it down if it helps (what you will do) and then make a nice cuppa and sit down and when you start to worry just take a brief look at the plan, OK it's all in hand. Roll on tomorrow.

Hope it is fine. [hugs]

expatinscotland · 19/02/2017 20:50

I'd ring and check tomorrow but tbh, I'd go private in this instance because they are already cancelling lots of ops that are far more urgent.

Merlin40 · 19/02/2017 20:50

Storming down like a raving lunatic is not going to get you anywhere! 😐

Teddy1970 · 19/02/2017 20:51

HarryPotters some private IVF clinics such as the ARGC, want to do a hysteroscopy just before you start treatment, it's so they can take measurements of the uterine cavity and give it a good clear out and other things, which I can't remember. I think you're thinking of the lap & dye which test tubal patency which is usually done at the investigation stage.

Italiangreyhound · 19/02/2017 20:51

PS do not act like a raving lunatic at all, ever!

You want to be a very sympathetic character but also very tenacious.

Too soft, you can get overlooked.

Too crazy angry, they will not want to help you.

The right combination of someone they want to help, who is tenacious, good.

They need to want to help get this sorted for you, and you need to be clear you want it sorted, please, in the nicest possible way, etc.

MycatsaPirate · 19/02/2017 20:56

Please call and speak to the consultant's secretary first thing and explain your issues.

But be prepared for this to be the date you are being offered. Last year I was booked in for major spinal surgery in January. Dp had to take two weeks off work, one to look after dcs while I was in hospital and one to look after me and dcs for the week after I got home. The hospital is over an hour from my home. He drove me there and left to go home. My surgery was cancelled and I had to call him to come back and get me.

Surgery was then booked for September. The day before my surgery they called to say it was cancelled again. Again dp had booked time off work to accommodate everything.

Finally got surgery 3 weeks after that and was supposed to be in for 5 days. By day 3 they were trying to get me out because a) I had support at home and b) they were desperate for the bed.

The NHS is on it's knees. Unless you can afford to go private then sadly you have to accept that unless it's a life or death scenario then you are at risk of having any procedure put back.

greenfolder · 19/02/2017 20:58

I really dont think saying " just have it done privately" at this stage is helpful..presumably if op had thousands sitting around she would have gone private on the whole shebang sooner.
Op. Be firm direct and tenacious. If yoh think you are going to go bonkers can you get someone to call for you?

TheFairyCaravan · 19/02/2017 21:05

Things are getting cancelled and pushed back all the time atm, even life saving cancer operations.

In October I was told I needed a pelvic fusion and it would be in January. 3 weeks ago I rang the hospital to find out when it would be, roughly and they said 6 weeksish. I still haven't had a date, so it's going to be longer than that. I'm in agony, cry daily from pain and am housebound. It wouldn't matter if I screamed and shouted, that won't magic up a bed.

expatinscotland · 19/02/2017 21:08

'I really dont think saying " just have it done privately" at this stage is helpful..presumably if op had thousands sitting around she would have gone private on the whole shebang sooner.
Op. Be firm direct and tenacious. If yoh think you are going to go bonkers can you get someone to call for you?'

But the fact is that this type of op has a very high chance of being cancelled even if she gets it moved.

Blastandtroph · 19/02/2017 21:13

Green I disagree. Suggesting to the OP that she pays for the procedure privately is possibly her best solution if she does not wish to further delay her IVF treatment and risk the anxiety of future bumping.

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