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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I really hate my neighbours

73 replies

plastique · 19/02/2017 19:48

I really hate my neighbours, we've fallen out. They have complained about our noise etc several times. We are a perfectly normal but busy/sociable family. We're self employed and own a well know successful business in our local town. When I see them it makes be feel really pissed off!! I feel I can't go about daily life without feeling stressed incase I meet them out the front. Moving is not happening as I'm lucky enough to live in HA housing in a very sought after area. Just wondering how people who hate their neighbours go about their day to day lives without the neighbours affecting their life/moods etc! I really hate confrontation too!!

OP posts:
Nomoreworkathome · 19/02/2017 20:47

Star
Has sod all to do with the issue the OP has posted about but in answer to your question people can in fact improve their life situation from when they took on a social housing or HA tenancy. It is all perfectly above board. Somehow I doubt you would be falling over yourself to hand your HA home back if you were in the same situation and your income improved.

Original poster
plastique · 19/02/2017 20:48

Well said NOMORE

OP posts:
mycatwantstokillme1 · 19/02/2017 20:54

the kind of people we are

OP

when I was bringing my son up on benefits as a single parent the neighbours above me (husband in work & starting his own business) were the most anti social fuckers you could imagine, noisy, loud and didn't givee a shit. Kid running up & down on wooden floors at 2am most nights, them shouting and swearing.

So why are you implying that because you have your own business you'd be the ideal neighbours?

Original poster
plastique · 19/02/2017 20:56

MYCAT, that's totally not us as a family, please read the full thread.

OP posts:
Whiterabbitears · 19/02/2017 20:57

I'm not sure what difference it makes if the OP is successful and in social housing, like she says she's worked to become successful. Just because someone once qualified as homeless doesn't mean they need to stay poor forever just so they can stay in their house. Private renting is absolutely shit so I don't blame people for staying put in social housing if they have it. I've seen threads here advising people to keep their council house as social tenancies are like gold dust nowadays, yet this OP is being criticised for that.

harrypotternerd · 19/02/2017 21:01

OP your neighbours would hate mine. They have parties at all hours, all nights of the week, cars parked across our driveway and one night my DP got in an argument about it because we have a child with severe asthma and they were blocking us in. There is also shouting at all hours etc.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 19/02/2017 21:01

How can anybody say OP is probably a shit neighbour based on what she's said?

She and her family sound absolutely normal to me.

Serin · 19/02/2017 21:03

I don't really like my neighbour, or more specifically their 6 cats that crap all over our previously gorgeous gardens and wake us at least every other night with their wailing and have annihilated the local bird population. They have also wiped out a little colony of water shrews that lived in our wooded area. They have even scratched the roof of DH's new car.
Have tried talking to them, the neighbours not the cats. The response was "That's cats for you" and a big grin.
As there is nothing in a law sense that can be done, I have resolved to just make the best of a bad situation, otherwise I would get ill from the stress. I pick up the crap every day, I get up in the night and go out in my dressing gown to shoo them away, like a mad woman. We don't grow strawberries, root veg or salad crops/low growing herbs outdoors anymore.
All the time we are planning our exit from here, we are redecorating each room in turn and in 3 years we are putting this place on the market and getting as far away from anyone with cats as its possible to be.

I think your only option is to tough it out and hope they move away, or relocate.

In the meantime, I sympathise.

mycatwantstokillme1 · 19/02/2017 21:03

I've read the full thread OP> I'm asking why you wrote your earlier thread which implies that anyone who has their own business and works would be an ideal neighbour, not just you. It's also what you didn't write in the sentence which implies that if you don't have your own busness/a job you might not be such a great neighbour.

Was just pointing out that an arsehole is an arsehole, whether they work or not is irrelevant. (I don't mean you're an arsehole by the way)

Like I said I've had nieghbours I've fallen out with. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. If you have a good relationship with your Housing Officer yo ushouldn't have any problems.

SandyDenny · 19/02/2017 21:05

Why are posters assuming the OP is the one who's lying about the noise, I dread to go out of my house sometimes too as the neighbours are very jjudegmental about everything.

They are a retired couple, never had any children and have way too much time on their hands complaining about the neighbours on the other side if they don't take the bins in quickly enough or children being noisy out side their house or people driving too fast up the road (not over the speed limit just faster than they drive).

None of these complaints are valid and they annoy everyone else, sometimes OPs tell the truth you know

I look out of the window, check they aren't around then quickly get in my car, luckily I'm out a lot and manage to avoid them but it is annoying

user1477282676 · 19/02/2017 21:07

Being professional and having a successful business doesn't make you "the kind of people" who don't make unreasonable noise OP! Grin

user1477282676 · 19/02/2017 21:07

Sandy because the OP assumed that people would think she HAD to be the reasonable one due to her successful business! That indicates a certain ignorance.

piefacerecords · 19/02/2017 21:14

This thread is bonkers!

[grins]

Original poster
plastique · 19/02/2017 21:17

PIEFACE I kind of agree, but it's my life and it's a genuine concern.. Enjoy your popcorn luv

OP posts:
flowersalloverme · 19/02/2017 22:00

Neighbours might be envious of your HA status given that you have a successful business in the town.

Keep your own noise down anyway. If you can. and see what happens then.

TeaAddict235 · 19/02/2017 22:14

my neighbours are horrid too OP. I can only suggest that you move if you can. In the meantime, ignore them.

my neighbours have threatened me (when 8months pregnant), also when DS1 was 2, with their Alaskan husky dog. They have never apologised for their great dane escaping into my garden when DS1 was about 8mo. They have laid dog poo in our drive way (knowing full well that we have 2 under 3yo), they have broken DH wing mirror, scratched his car a dozen times, keyed it too, placed broken glass in our front garden......the list goes on. But what goes around will come around.

Save your sanity and dignity and move

anxious2017 · 19/02/2017 22:17

People make me sick. I live in HA housing because I was made homeless by my ex husband, am disabled and had a 2 year old son. Since then, I've done a degree, become a teacher and remarried. I also run a business. We are very, very poor because my ex husband took out massive debt (£100,000+) in either mine or joint names, stopped paying the mortgage on our joint properly after he kicked me out and the house was repossessed without him informing me. I have another £5000 worth of debt from solicitors trying to sort out all his mess and my credit is so bad I can't get a real bank account. I might be a teacher and we might have a small business but every penny we have goes on my debts with the bare minimum left for actually living. I've been told I'll never be able to buy again and my husband has bad credit and doesn't earn enough to buy. We can't rent because we have nothing for deposits/bonds and were refused on our credit when we tried. I am extremely lucky to have a HA house and I've no idea where we'd be if I didn't. Don't judge without knowing someone's situation - on the surface we probably look OK but underneath no one had any idea what stress we go through.

wishparry · 20/02/2017 08:11

I feel for you OP.
you sound like a normal family that make a normal amount of noise.
I honestly think some people have nothing better to do other than complain (like my neighbours)

They have complained about allsorts.people trimming their hedges(at about 11am)
People not taking their bins in as quick as they like.
they have complained to the council about housing association work going on at a disabled neighbours house.
I have a friend who owns his own business,and when he has work in the area he stops by our house for a cuppa.they've even gone as far as to call the number on his van (his number) to "grass" the member of staff up that was coming to our house during working hours!complete with his registration number!

I can't even stand to look at my neighbours now.

My advice to you is to not even look towards their house when you are outside,and if they start to try to talk to you just ignore them.

Is a housing exchange an option for you?I always see adverts in local shop Windows asking for a council house exchange.

OfftheCuff · 20/02/2017 08:21

we are professional people

This seems very important to you. You come across as thinking that your neighbours should put up with anything you do because you're "successful" and "professional" people.

I wonder why you're in social housing when others so desperately need it ...

MaudesMum · 20/02/2017 08:24

But neighbours can also be nice! I'm in a terrace where we all rub along, despite our differences. There are no parking wars - in fact yesterday one of my neighbours knocked on my door and asked if they could use one of my parking spaces for a few hours. We warn each other if we're about to do noisy building works or other activities such as childrens birthday parties. And in the summer we sit outside in the evening and chat to each other. It does rely on a bit of give and take, but it makes for an infinitely nicer environment...

elodie2000 · 20/02/2017 08:25

This thread isn't really about the cause, it's to do with the coping of the moany neighbours, cheers

You're pissing them off so tackle the cause and the complaints will stop.

TupperwareTat · 20/02/2017 08:27

Its sad that their children never go in the garden & they are smoking weed in there Sad

Redlocks28 · 20/02/2017 08:44

we are professional people

So?!

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