Single mums - working and school runs

[californiaadreaming]

I can't find a way to balance having a full time job with being a single mum to dd. I feel guilty that I can't be the one to do the school runs and like we're both missing out. I used to love running out of the school gates and seeing my mum standing there and it makes me so sad.

How do people manage?

Apologies - I didn't mean to imply that only single parents struggle with this.

Even if I went part time I would still miss some drop offs/pick ups and I wouldn't be able to afford half as much as what I can for us now. I suppose I always had this image in my head of doing school runs and the reality is far from how I imagined it to be. Think I'm having a feeling sorry for myself kinda day.

Fair point creampinkrose you are absolutely right.

I totally understand that not everyone could do this, and it would depend on the sector / role / willingness of management to allow it.

I just wanted to respond to the OP about how people manage it, to explain how I did it.

I am a single parent to 5, I have to work to support them so I really appreciate the days I do get to pick them up. Leaving my 1 year old still breaks my heart every day. The older ones had me or dad at home and were never put into childcare and my heart sinks every morning, I know he's in safe hands and he loves the childminder but I constantly feel like I'm missing so much. Enjoy the time you do spend together, I occasionally book term time holidays so I can do school runs.

In my head, a parent picking up is a "nice to have". Lovely if you can manage it, but if you can't because you are busy earning money to feed, clothe, house them and give them general quality of life then so be it. FT 9-5 and 9-3.30 school just don't fit together. Focus on what they do gain from you working (loads).

It is very normal these days for children to do a fair bit of wraparound, it's just that OP you probably don't know many of the families who do. They are not as visible to you as your own childhood memories or the parents who are at the school gate. How your kids spend an hour before school and a couple of hours after it won't define their childhood, honest.

I've always thought it was a massive bonus of work that you avoid school runs, the traffic, the tired children, the other parents and all the rest. Lucky we who don't do school runs. i suspect a lot of parents do both work full time in private schools as they tend to earn more so have better careers worth continuing, fairer non sexist marriages and more money for childcare and school fees.

I think some posters get quite huge defensive when an OP suggests that they feel guilty about being unable to be a SAHP and do things like school runs. It's not a criticism, just an acknowledgement that that person would prefer to be able to do things differently. I think most of us would, given a free choice.

I'm single Mum working full time and obviously it is much harder to get everything covered when there's only one of you, there is an implication on this thread that it's not! The guilt may be the same but logistically it's much harder.

Things do get easier OP, and it's true that by year 5 ish, it's the minority who get picked up everyday.
Mine are teens now but even today I feel guilt. I've left the house before they are even up and won't be back until 8. Independent they are....but yeah the guilt never quite goes. I think they view me as some sort of superwoman...which I'm not sure is a good thing sometimes because maybe it places expectations so high, they are not, I'm just a 'do-er' and get on with it.
I do relieve my guilt with little gestures, a little gift if I've been traveling, meal out of they've had to wait to be fed 'properly' etc. I definitely make the most of the time I have with them and always am very clear about where I am, who to call if they need anything, if my mum is coming round, just so they still feel safe even if I'm not there.