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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate breastfeeding?!

63 replies

EmilyRosanne · 17/02/2017 18:37

DC2 is nearly 7 months old, she feeds every 3 hours alongside two solid meals. On the whole it is going really well and she sleeps really well at night normally only waking up for one feed.

I HATE it though! I feel like I have given up my body for over a year now including the pregnancy and feel so drained being the only one able to feed her. I've tried expressing but I get very little and she doesn't take a bottle well.

I also feel like I want my body back?? By the end of the day I feel like someone has been physically attached to me for so long I want space and I resent when DC1 wakes up for a cuddle which I know sounds awful!

I feel so selfish but I see pictures of women lovingly breastfeeding but I can't wait until it's over.

DD has health issues, some with her digestion so breast milk is what is best for her at this stage so I would feel awful to give her formula just for my benefit so I will continue to feed her until Atleast a year, or longer if she wants to. I just wish I enjoyed this time more Sad

OP posts:
AllTheBabies · 17/02/2017 18:42

I've always hated it too. I fed dd1 for 2.5 years and dd2 just stopped a few days ago at 12 months (my milk has dried up due to pregnancy). I've always said I'll do it for as long as they want it (within reason) but I really don't enjoy it. I'm glad I'm getting a few months break before I have to do it all over again.

I hate having to stop what your doing and sit down. I'm a very active person and would just sit there thinking about all the jobs that I needed to be doing.

2014newme · 17/02/2017 18:44

Yanbu. I lasted six weeks.

Trifleorbust · 17/02/2017 18:45

Don't worry. You have done a great job. Stop. Don't feel guilty whatsoever. Cake

QueenOfTheCatBastards · 17/02/2017 18:47

Not unreasonable in the slightest. I hated every single minute of breastfeeding my three. Wept with relief when I realised the youngest had weaned.

MatildaTheCat · 17/02/2017 18:47

Have you investigated options for formula that she could tolerate? You've more than done your bit if you feel this way. Don't continue from guilt, if you had to stop tomorrow there would be another way to nourish dd safely.

Trifleorbust · 17/02/2017 18:47

Sorry, just read the rest of your post. How likely is it that formula would make her ill?

cautiousoptimist1 · 17/02/2017 18:47

YANBU, you're doing a brilliant job though to keep on going if you hate it.

I enjoyed it far more than I expected to but stopped completely at 7 months as I was losing too much weight (sorry, yes I know!) and I feel a bit more alive now I've stopped and I completely understand your comment about reclaiming your body.

Almostfifty · 17/02/2017 18:47

I didn't enjoy it, but I managed to go to eight months. One had enough of me by then, the other bit me so hard three times in one feed I decided enough was enough.

It's not always the most fabulous thing for you, but just know you've done the best thing possible for your baby.

Jayfee · 17/02/2017 18:49

Definitely time for you to stop or at least reduce. If she is on solids, perhaps a bottle of water or something?? Babies can be quite tyrannical about taking a bottle but it can be done. good luvk

PegaGryf · 17/02/2017 18:57

I have 3, bf for 9mths, 7mths & 12 mths respectively. If you're unhappy & you think your baby will take a bottle, I'd say go for mixed feeding with a view to stopping if that's what you want. Your happiness is extremely important! Good luck xx

Original poster
EmilyRosanne · 17/02/2017 18:59

Thank you all! Im so glad I am not alone feeling like this! Everywhere I look it seems such a 'blissful' and lovely bonding time and I've felt so selfish resenting it. I sat down and worked out I spend 3-4 hours a day feeding and it's exhausting Sad.

Allthebabies that's incredible 2.5years! Well done you I'm hoping to feed as long as possible but I highly doubt I will last another 2 years! Shock

I'm desperate to go out for an evening or spend a day with DC1, I'm hoping as she progresses with solid food that the feeds will gradually decrease..

Formula milk wouldn't necessarily make her unwell but without going into too many details, it is much better for her to have breast milk as it generally digests easier and is better for her so I won't give up just on the basis that I don't like it, I suppose I just needed to rant and let it out.

OP posts:
laurzj82 · 17/02/2017 19:10

Good grief yasnbu!! I managed 2 weeks! You're amazing. Don't feel guilty Flowers

JayzuzMaryJoseph · 17/02/2017 19:13

Hated it with both my DC. And I was very pro-breastfeeding and wanted to feed both for at least a year...but reality was that I felt trapped and put upon and didn't enjoy it all and stopped at 4 mtgs with DC1 and 8 weeks with DC2.

Olympiathequeen · 17/02/2017 19:16

You're doing very well so don't feel bad about wanting a return to some kind of normality. I'd start trying a drinking cup with the baby so that the switchover goes more smoothly

Ohyesiam · 17/02/2017 19:18

Could you look into more digestion friendly formula? My dd had goat formula, as we all have s dairy problem ( for it from health good shop).
Also a happy mum is happy kids, so give yourself a break, and stop feeding.

pikapoo · 17/02/2017 19:21

YANBU! Every 3 hours at 7 months old is quite a demanding schedule. If it's about breast milk being best for her, could you:

  • Express intensely twice/thrice a day and give her bottles of expressed breast milk? She is likely to drink more quickly from a bottle (vs breastfeeding), so you will 'save some time' that way
  • Try and stretch her feeds so she is doing every 3.5-4 hours instead? e.g. 7am, 10:30am, 2:30/3pm, and bedtime feed. Again, it will save some time and energy. At 7 months she is likely to be able to go for longer between milk feeds...

Good luck!

Sunshinegirl82 · 17/02/2017 19:23

I don't hate the actual feeding but at nearly 8 months I am starting to look forward to being able to go out for more than a couple of hours! I think that must be pretty normal for a lot of people! Don't feel bad about it, you're doing a great job!

category12 · 17/02/2017 19:26

Yeah it made me feel very trapped and that my body was no longer mine. But did it for a year each.

Jayfee · 17/02/2017 19:30

i breast fed two babies till nine months . sounds like you are definitely ready to start reducing or stopping.

SoggyBottomBoys · 17/02/2017 19:33

Agree. Hated it too. Don't feel bad about stopping. You've already done brilliantly.

Oblomov17 · 17/02/2017 19:33

So stop. I bf both ds's. I gave up when I wanted. Without guilt.

ElspethFlashman · 17/02/2017 19:37

I BF two. Never got mastitis or even any bleeding, but still absolutely HATED every day of it. Getting my tit out in freezing winter every two hours, months of wearing the same sports bras and the same three V neck tops, and the trapped feeling most of all.

The day I finished and knew I'd never have to do it again was very emotional - FREEDOM!

But yeah, about the formula situation - look into Neocate. It's so non-allergenic that it's incredibly easy to digest.

downwardfacingdog · 17/02/2017 19:48

Yanbu (you feel how you feel) but as she starts taking more solid food over the next weeks/months you will be able to cut down to 2or3 feeds a day, which should make a big difference.

Yura · 17/02/2017 19:55

I didn't hate it, but expressing takes a while to get used to - mainly to relax enough and get things going. might be worth trying again (different pump?) to help you. ibtook about 1 week of daily practice before it worked

auntyhiro · 17/02/2017 20:02

No, you are a booby hero ! You have given them a great start and should feel proud of what you achieved if you move on