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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to hate breastfeeding?!

63 replies

EmilyRosanne · 17/02/2017 18:37

DC2 is nearly 7 months old, she feeds every 3 hours alongside two solid meals. On the whole it is going really well and she sleeps really well at night normally only waking up for one feed.

I HATE it though! I feel like I have given up my body for over a year now including the pregnancy and feel so drained being the only one able to feed her. I've tried expressing but I get very little and she doesn't take a bottle well.

I also feel like I want my body back?? By the end of the day I feel like someone has been physically attached to me for so long I want space and I resent when DC1 wakes up for a cuddle which I know sounds awful!

I feel so selfish but I see pictures of women lovingly breastfeeding but I can't wait until it's over.

DD has health issues, some with her digestion so breast milk is what is best for her at this stage so I would feel awful to give her formula just for my benefit so I will continue to feed her until Atleast a year, or longer if she wants to. I just wish I enjoyed this time more

OP posts:

RaeSkywalker · 17/02/2017 20:04

YANBU. I gave up early on because the anticipation of feeds was making me incredibly anxious and unhappy. You've done so well to make it this far. I agree with others- maybe try expressing again if you're definitely set on continuing?

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 17/02/2017 20:05

It's a bit of a tough one. I don't really like breastfeeding but it's very important for DD so I grin and bear it. It helps reading stuff (mumsnet!) on my phone to get distracted.
Will she take water from a cup?

Lushka · 17/02/2017 20:05

I Breastfed over a year and alternated between loving it and hating it. I totally sympathise with your reasons for wanting to stop. Chucking out my nursing bras was the best feeling ever!

Mulberry72 · 17/02/2017 20:07

YANBU. I hated it, my milk just wouldn't come and the sister on the maternity ward was refusing to let me leave until I'd proved I could feed him, she kept trying "to show" me how and I ended up with bruised boobs. I discharged myself and DS on the 6th day, I told her was going on formula and left, and never looked back.

Mumzypopz · 17/02/2017 20:09

I'm always amazed how people avoid formula like it's the plague or poison or something....There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Why carry on if you are fed up with it. I just don't get it I'm afraid.

amysmummy12345 · 17/02/2017 20:12

Yanbu, some days I feel incredibly touched out, I fed dd1 until she was 2 years three months (at that point I three months pregnant) and now with dd2 who is 8 1/2 months. So apart from a six month gap I've been breastfeeding since 2013 I can't wait to get my boobs back, although I imagine that they will be like pitta breads flapping in the wind by then

Dutch1e · 17/02/2017 20:19

YANBU and I speak as a full-on crunchy hippie who would probably breastfeed until the end of time if the babies had wanted to.

I think you're an absolute champion to keep slogging away and i'm really sorry formula isn't a good alternative in your case.

Everyone underestimates (or forgets) those moments when you could scream for wanting a minute without being sucked on, grabbed at, and generally crawled all over.

Dutch1e · 17/02/2017 20:20

they will be like pitta breads flapping in the wind by then

BellyBean · 17/02/2017 20:37

Yanbu inthink you're at one of the toughest stages where it's just food/bf/food all day, they're getting more touchy feely and you're losing the will.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 17/02/2017 20:48

YANBU. Give up if you don't want to continue.

Dinnerout1 · 17/02/2017 20:54

I would keep trying expressing and the bottle because when it's time to go on the bottle she will take it well.
I expressed fully for 3 months then I brought in at night time I gave my DD a bottle of hungrier milk cow and gate around 8ish and she would sleep through the night. Did this also with my twin girls and they are all very good sleepers.. Sleeping all through

SerialReJoiner · 17/02/2017 20:56

Maybe a sippy cup would work better than a bottle?

PersisFord · 17/02/2017 21:02

I get a real high from breastfeeding. I think it's a hormone thing. Happy and relaxed. So when you look at mums who are "doing better" than you they are prob just lucky ones like me. I can't imagine wanting to put up with all the hassle if not for the goodness, so if you are still managing at 9 months the only explanation is that you must be a hero!

SquedgieBeckenheim · 17/02/2017 21:07

I stopped BF DD when I was starting to resent feeding her. I always said I would do it until one of us didn't want to any more.
I would suggest trying milk (expressed or a formula she can get on with) in a cup rather than a bottle, there's no need to get her used to a bottle now. It's a different way of drinking so may be more likely to take it. When DD had to go to childcare she was still having expressed milk, wouldn't take a bottle but would take a cup.
Have you tried expressing with different types of pump? I could only get on with an electric one, but others I knew could only get on with manual.

Snifftest · 17/02/2017 21:07

I hate it too. It's a bit easier now DS is 13months, and I'm back at work. He only has morning and evening feeds now, we recently night weaned.

Having said that, he's currently ill and feeding like a newborn again...

Chattycat78 · 17/02/2017 21:09

Hearing this. I have an 8 month old and I've been either pregnant or feeding since April 2014. I can't say I hate feeding but I'm def ready to get my body back. I would also like to go back to wearing "normal" clothes as I'm sick of my wardrobe. I'd also like to have a drink without counting units and checking when my milk will be alcohol free. It's a long slog, that's for sure.

Jellyhanging555 · 17/02/2017 21:12

I was the same- completely- though for different reasons! My boobs were constantly sore- like I dreaded getting a shower each day as the water falling on them killed- couldn't dry them as they were so sore (massively sensitive more than anything) and I leaked constantly when I took my bra off( fine when it was on! Started to leak within 2 seconds of taking it off) so I slept in my bra, couldn't go swimming and felt I couldn't have any intimate time with my husband! I was glad to stop it all just for those reasons- and also mastitis! It was not a joyful,bonding time for me! All "good" things come to an end! Good luck OP- do what you feel is right.

Hatemylifenow · 17/02/2017 21:14

I miss breastfeeding loads - had to stop when ds was 6 months.

crabbied · 17/02/2017 21:16

I hated it despite finding it easy. I had intended to feed for a year but in the end I couldn't manage more than 4 months. I am an introvert and I don't like being touched. Bottle feeding made me happier and was more bonding for me and therefore better imo fir my babies.

Chocolateorangegoblin · 17/02/2017 21:20

I hated it too. Made me feel anxious and claustrophobic plus the whole leaking thing freaked me out. I FF DS2 from birth. As it turns out they are both CMPI and on special formula anyway. I couldn't have given up diary the way I was already feeling it would have been too much. Good to hear others feel the same way.
Could you try her on Neocate or something OP? Or switch to cow's milk once she's old enough?

Original poster

EmilyRosanne · 17/02/2017 21:27

I definitely don't think formula is poison.. My first was on formula from 10 weeks old because I just found breastfeeding really difficult back then. I'm sorry if that's how my posts came across.

However this time around I know that in DD's particular circumstances she is best having breast milk for a multitude of reasons with her health, down to it being more easily digested and full of anti-bodies preventing infections that could really harm her more than another baby so I do want to continue as I know I would feel so guilty to stop for my benefit, a pp was spot on about hitting a hard stage with feed/food/feed/food that is how it feels at present!

And yes to wearing normal clothes!! I am sick of boring nursing bras, and shopping specifically for easy access breastfeeding clothes rather than things I actually like

OP posts:

sleepy16 · 17/02/2017 21:32

You have done fantastic to bf for as long as you have, will your lo take a beaker at all?
My dd is 13 months and she still bfs loads and it can be draining.
The only beaker my dd will take is the one that looks like a cup (can't for the life of me remember what it's called).
She will not take no bottle, and hardly eats (she eats like a sparrow but hv says to not make a big deal out of her eating habbits).
I did find the first 10 weeks awful, and I know it contributed to me having pnd.
I think if your not happy then how on earth will your baby be happy?
I think bf is wonderful if you can do it,but not at the expense of the womans health and mental wellbeing.

backtowork2015 · 17/02/2017 21:35

YANBU. It was torture.

ScoobyDoosTinklyLaugh · 17/02/2017 21:45

I had nursing aversion and actively detested breastfeeding it made my skin crawl and made me want to throw my baby out the window. Not the beautiful bonding experience is expected! I didn't last long lol.

ElspethFlashman · 17/02/2017 22:26

Oh yes, the depressing feeling when you go into a clothes shop and 99% of clothes aren't suitable for BFing. So you buy a grey cardigan. Again.

And the massive hit your sex life takes. Actually, I never had sex whilst BFing now I think about it. Tbh the only way I would have considered it is if I kept my jumper on. Which wouldn't have been sexy for anybody!

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