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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why a friend keeps telling about all the attention she gets?

59 replies

CatchTheRainbow · 16/02/2017 22:11

It's got to the point where it's none stop..

  • She got a massive bouquet of flowers delivered on valentines but no idea who they are from.
  • Guy had a couple of dates with her and was saying she's the one.
  • Guy asked for her number on the bus.
  • Colleague is sending her naked photos.
  • Guy at work said she's absolutely stunning (she's told me this 4 times now).
  • Another guy telling her he's fallen for her.

I honestly could go on ....

I just don't get why she does it. She's a lot prettier than I am 100% so it's not a jealousy thing ...

OP posts:
Liiinoo · 16/02/2017 22:49

I have a friend who does this constantly. She also takes any perceived compliment she hears someone else get and claims it for herself. For example if someone tells her mate "you have very pale skin' she will chime in pointing out how much fairer her skin is. Equally if someone admired a mate's cafe au lait skin she would bounce around drawing attention to her own deep skin tone. It's annoying but I dont think she would do it if she was secure

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 16/02/2017 22:57

Is your friend Samantha Brick? Grin

MotherofA · 16/02/2017 23:00

My old best friend used to do this to me constantly and kind of indirectly put me down . Believe it or not it is chronic insecurity. I would take a step back from her if I was you Smile

EightiethElement · 16/02/2017 23:08

A woman on the tube once told me I was beautiful. It meant more coming from a woman. I didn't tell anybody but the man I was with didn't look thrilled........

I'd say she feels (ridiculous though it may be) that you don't admire her enough so she keeps having to point out that she's pretty! Irritating but yeh, based on insecurity.

ChicRock · 16/02/2017 23:08

I think your friend sounds terribly insecure with low self esteem.

A normal response to a colleague sending you unsolicited naked pics would be to tell him to stop/report him for sexual harassment.

kali110 · 16/02/2017 23:08

hope sorry that cracked up Grin
If these things did really happen i suppose you would tell your friends.
or yes she's trying to make you jealous of her.
Do You have something she wants?
A good job?
Good relationship?
Marriage?

Not point of the thread but why is it disrespectful for a guy to chat you up on the bus?Confused

Electrolens · 16/02/2017 23:20

It doesn't sound as if you want to be her friend. It sounds as if she is insecure and lonely. If you don't want to talk to her then be blunt and say 'I've heard this before' and le5 her talk to other friends. If you want to support her and be her friend,talk to her properly and ask if she's ok.

Electrolens · 16/02/2017 23:27

And reading again - if she's just a colleague then just ignore as any irritating colleague. No, it's not normal, and no, she's clearly not happy. But if you really don't want to get involved and ask her what's going on then don't, but be kind and just ignore rather than gossip with other colleagues (not that you are)

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2017 23:32

These are normal things to tell friends. My friend had this kind of stuff happen all the time. She's very attractive and not insecure - often the attention was unwanted. She always had men approaching her, colleagues falling for her. I enjoyed hearing about it as that kind of thing never happened to me! I think we talked about it as a way of trying to understand men and the way they think - we were both single at the time.

obeseclarice · 16/02/2017 23:37

Ah OP this sounds familiar, I've got a friend ( more a friend of a friend) who repeats and embellishes stories about her own attractiveness to anyone she meets - example we're out and she has a 2 sentence convo standing next to another woman at the bar - who is suddenly then her friend, and who has told her how young she looks (she is 10-15 years older than us, a common theme is people telling her she looks younger than us. She doesn't). Or men are fawning over her - although like your friend they're not ones anyone would want.

I just nod and smile.

HamletsSister · 16/02/2017 23:38

Ask her if she wants to run for President?

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2017 23:38

I thought it was just me, Xmas but I enjoy hearing about these things too Grin

I'm nearly 48 and I've been with my husband for 16 years.

Hearing single friend's experiences of these things, is the closest I'm going to get Grin

But seriously, apart from the one thing she kept repeating, the rest is entirely normal talk amongst friends IME.

PageStillNotFound404 · 16/02/2017 23:47

If it's constant and non-stop I can see that it would get a bit wearing, but as others have said she's probably quite insecure. It depends how good a friend you feel inclined to be as to how you deal with it. Personally, if I liked her I'd probably respond with something like "I'm not surprised, you're very pretty" - it costs you nothing, it's the truth and will make her feel good. (I'd add the caveat "but Naked Picture Guy sounds like a right sleazeball, leave him well alone".)

Witchend · 16/02/2017 23:59

Only person I knew like this it was all in her head. She was so boring. Every male was chasing her apparently.
I once had the misfortune to be in a pub with her conversation (bearing in mind there were about 8-10 people) went like this:

Person A:
Oh no! Hide me. It's J over there. He's asked me out three times already and I haven't given a reply. I don't know what to do. Can I swap places so he can't see me? What shall I do... etc etc etc.

J walks past
Person A:
Hi J:

He gives a quick glance to the group:
Hi person B, Hi Person A.
Continues out of pub without a backwards glance nor any sign of awkwardness.

Person A:
Oh No! There's K over there! Hide me! He keeps sending me flowers and I don't know what to say....

Repeat on continuous for the entire time we were in there. None of the apparent infatuated males gave any sign she was anything other than a mild acquaintance.

'Twas exceptionally boring.

mathanxiety · 17/02/2017 00:10

The fact that she includes naked pics as examples of attraction to her shows she has no boundaries. Your friend sounds a bit lost and lacking in self esteem. Agree with ChicRock. Tis very sad.

DixieNormas · 17/02/2017 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2017 00:31

The fact that she includes naked pics as examples of attraction to her shows she has no boundaries.

Where has the OP said that? Confused

All she said was, her friend told her that her colleague is sending naked photos.

She didn't elaborate on that at all.

steff13 · 17/02/2017 00:40

A woman on the tube once told me I was beautiful. It meant more coming from a woman. I didn't tell anybody but the man I was with didn't look thrilled........

I compliment people all the time. Men, women, children. I told a guy today that his beard was fantastic (it totally was).

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2017 00:50

Try telling a woman the same thing steff and apparently it's an insult?!?!

Grin
mathanxiety · 17/02/2017 01:00

I think it was clearly implied that the friend feels naked pics are a compliment.

ElvishArchdruid · 17/02/2017 02:21

Some women are like that, it's a bit like an Aloha female. Oh aren't I great, men just totally adore me. It's pretty sad but some women will take compliments off the most random people to boost their ego.

It must be hard work.

sykadelic · 17/02/2017 02:52

My former work colleague did this all the time and it drove me bonkers. She'd tell a story about something and it always involved how absolutely adored she was, or how hot this guy said she was or how someone said she had the most amazing personality, or how everyone always tells her she has such a kind heart.

Knowing her as well as I did , it definitely was insecurity. I could usually pinpoint a situation that had occurred where my work had gone well, or someone had given me a compliment about my work (I worked with debtors on their medical bills) or something else as a trigger for it (Valentines Day, birthday's, wedding anniversary etc)...

Is she in a relationship? Are you? Did someone she know recently get married or engaged? Think about when these happened and what was going on. Undoubtedly there was a trigger for her and she needed the reassurance.

Happyfeet1972 · 17/02/2017 03:03

Apart from the part about telling you 4 times I don't see a problem with it. Friends tell each other mundane details of their lives....God you should hear me and my friends bore on about our DIY, work etc. I'd far rather hear about some juicy gossip like the weird colleague sending her photos....We'd have a field day with that one, he'd be getting all kinds from all different numbers for being such a knob.

Happyfeet1972 · 17/02/2017 03:05

Not explaining it very well. What I mean is those examples are probably the most interesting things that have happened to her on any given day. I doubt it's the only thing she's telling you about her life, just some of it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 17/02/2017 03:44

As a PP, I knew someone like this and it was all in her head. If someone talked to her then it was because they fancied her. If a guy asked for a second date then he was head over heels.
She also had a habit of throwing herself, almost literally, at men and then acting all put out when they responded, very odd.

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