Hi OP
Can I chip in?
First, I think, prioritise your own physical health. MH problems take a massive toll on physical health and it took me years to realise that caring for the physical side of MH left in in a far better state to deal with day to day life. So stock up on vitamins, iron supplements, fresh fruit and veg, any herbal remedies you trust, and drink loads of water. These will give back some of the energy that mental illness takes away, and so it will be a bit easier for you to find energy to tackle basic tasks. Try and start or end each day with a shower or bath. It relaxes you and wakes you up.
As for routines, maybe take a look at the Flylady threads on here, or on Flylady's website. I used to follow it and still use a few techniques of hers.
Set up a very simple morning routine. A good one is: on your way downstairs when you wake up each morning, bring down a laundry load
e.g. Mon - dark
Tues - pale
Wed - white
Thur - towels
Fri - bedlinen
Sat - school uniform
Sun - wool wash
Just stuff the wash in first thing, then fix breakfast for the DC etc.
Once you've dropped DC at school, clear the kitchen and transfer the washload to the dryer or hang it out. Final part of the routine is get something out of the freezer for tonight's dinner, or if you don't have something in the freezer, decide now what you'll eat, and make a shopping list while you have a tea or coffee, and stick it in your bag.
While you're ill, it's a really good idea to make sure that at least 50% of all main meals are either good quality ready meals or so easy you can prep them in 5 mins. Keep it simple with shop bought lasagnes and pizzas, curry sauces with diced meat and pre-prepped veg etc.
That's it. Work over for the morning, if you are ill. Just relax, or work on getting better (I used to spend hours every day meditating, walking, reading self-help books etc to get well.)
Then at lunch time, do another mini routine. A good one is Flylady's 5-minute room rescue. Set a kitchen timer for 5 mins and tidy one room only until it goes off. Do big, visible stuff, not fiddly stuff. Hang up coats, pair shoes, wipe surfaces, plump up cushions, toss out rubbish and newspapers etc. It's astounding how much you can do in five minutes. Revolutionised my attitude to coping with housework.
After lunch do another 5-minute room rescue and then take the afternoon off until you have to leave to pick up your youngest. If you need to shop for dinner, do it on the way to pick up or if they like grocery shopping (weirdly mine always did), go home via the shops.
When you get back home from school pick up, do another routine for 15 mins. It helps DC to learn it. It is: unpack DC's school bag - check for forms to fill in, party invites to reply to, library books etc, and then sort out the bag for tomorrow. Empty packed lunch box and water bottle and put in dishwasher. Put in anything they need for next day (gym kit, money, forms, school books etc) and hang it by the door. Make sure they help do this. Then sit down together with a snack and watch TV or whatever you like to do at that time. Even if you go home via the park or a friend's house, always hold onto that 15 minute routine. Set the timer if it helps.
Get the teens to do their own 15 minute after school routine, sorting out uniform and packing their bag for next day.
And that's it. That's all you need to do. At some point in the day or evening, you'll need to fold the day's laundry load and sort it into piles for eahc person to take upstairs.
But if you stick to this routine: two 15 min routines and two 5-min room rescues every day, you will get on top of it all. The family will have clean clothes, freshly made food, school stuff organized and the main living areas will be reasonably presentable.
And then you can get in a cleaner to do the main bulk of the physical work - the hoovering and ironing and cleaning bathrooms etc. Don't feel guilty. Loads of SAHMs without MH problems have cleaners - why should you feel you don't deserve one?