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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at the new tax free childcare

974 replies

childcarechallenge · 14/02/2017 10:58

NC for this.

We have two DC in childcare and live in London. I'm starting a new job next month and my salary is 48K, after tax, student loan, childcare costs and tube to work plus a few other generally working expenses (clothes etc) I've worked out that I will take home less than £200 a month.

DH earns a good salary which is good because we almost completely rely on his salary for rent, bills etc. He just received a large bonus which pushes him over 100K which is the new limit for the new tax free childcare scheme from the government.

Essentially, between 100K and 120K after tax, student loan, the loss of his "tax free allowance" which is clawed back over 100K, and the fact that we will not be able to claim £4000 back on our childcare because he is no longer under 100K (This applies to BOTH of us because of his salary) means that of that £20K we are actually only £1800 better off. AIBU to think that this is complete robbery - DH works extremely hard, very long hours (sometimes 70 hour weeks) in a high stress environment and the government seem to take an obscene amount of his salary.

We have an opportunity coming up to move to a lower tax country in a year or so with his job and this just makes me really want to take it, AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 14:43

I have no real interest in an expensive handbag... And yes, I will be short for time, in the morning getting myself a 3 year old and a baby ready and dressed, walking to nursery to drop off the kids at 7:30 a 20 minute walk away. Then in the evening picking up at nursery, getting home at 6:20, making dinner for me and the DC and doing DC bath and bed, then washing, (essential) ironing, cleaning up from dinner, packing nursery bags etc

Thats hard to do while working full time. So I priced a sandwich in. If i couldn't afford to buy a sandwich for a few quid in my lunch hour every day then i wouldn't work. It's just another little thing on top of a very busy schedule. I'm not sure why you are so bothered about a sandwich. As i said, we are not poor, I can afford a sandwich each day. I just think that the bonus thing is unfair.

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 15/02/2017 14:50

I think people are being a little mocking about the sandwich because of your vast sense of entitlement. I'm sure there are plenty of people on MN who cannot afford to buy a sandwich every day and still have to work full time.

I think you need to start practising some gratitude, you will feel a lot better for it.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 15/02/2017 14:51

. If i couldn't afford to buy a sandwich for a few quid in my lunch hour every day then i wouldn't work

That has to be the most entitled thing I have ever read on mumsnet. It's a bit like Naomi Campbell when she said she wouldn't get out of bed for less than £10k per day!

Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 14:52

I'm sure there are people who cant afford a sandwich but is it a crime that i earn a good salary? Just because other people cant afford something doesn't mean you shouldn't have it.

My alternative is not to work, so i weighed up all the additional financial costs. If i was at home with DC then i wouldn't be buying lunch every day. Its best to be realistic when making a budget, not put in "best case" figures.

OP posts:
Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 14:53

Sixisthemagicnumber you work go to work full time if it made you less than a couple of pounds a day?

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 15/02/2017 14:53

It's not hard you get used to it.... says the old girl who had children young x 3, works full time, single parent, chronic illness and no husband.
I make a marmite sarnie whilst the dinner is on and before I mark for 2/3 hours.
Routine is your friend.

oblada · 15/02/2017 14:55

Tbh I'd hate to have a sandwich every day, very boring and unhealthy, much rather bring in my own lunch :) and it's rly not hard, just cook enough the night before! yes completely not the point of this discussion but hey.

BadKnee · 15/02/2017 14:55

YANBU OP. Work does not pay nearly as well as it should. Low paid or higher paid it is still hard going.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 15/02/2017 14:57

work go to work full time if it made you less than a couple of pounds a day?

Plenty of people do. I earn less than £10 per day before even taking off my expenses but as a carer I don't have the luxury of turning he work down because I can't afford a dedicated work wardrobe and a gourmet sandwich on a daily basis.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 15/02/2017 14:57

If i couldn't afford to buy a sandwich for a few quid in my lunch hour every day then i wouldn't work.

Hmm

Most ridiculous comment.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 15/02/2017 14:58

My lunch today was left over soup. Yum.

Fakenewsday · 15/02/2017 14:59

come on, comparing someone buying a shop bought sandwich to naomi campbell is ridiculous! Op, that sounds like a horribly long day to me for small children and for you. Is there a sense that you feel you have to do very long hours because your DH is doing long hours? That seems 'fair' in theory but will mean that your kids have 2 very tired parents with not much family help.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 15/02/2017 15:00

come on, comparing someone buying a shop bought sandwich to naomi campbell is ridiculous!

Tbf it is comments like the sandwich that the OP is making, that is getting people's backs up.

Fakenewsday · 15/02/2017 15:01

i do tell my lovely kids that mummy could buy herself some fancy clothes for the money I spend in childcare every month (I too don't have any interest in that though) - my DD looks at me as though she might've made a different choice than having DC in my shoes :)

Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 15:01

six You earn less than 10 pounds a day before taking off expenses? Isn't that illegal? Unless you are working for an hour or so a day.

OP posts:
JaxingJump · 15/02/2017 15:02

OP I think there is a problem of a massive divide between the haves and have nots. Your perspective is from a very different place to many on the thread but is understandable in the context of your life and expectations. I don't think there is anything unreasonable about having and wanting a comfortable life and being pissed off at paying 90% tax. But it's a race to the bottom on here sometimes. Which is also understandable considering how little many people have. It's a fucked up world these days.

But you don't have to apologise for your sandwich requirement or your salary or your family income. It just might be pointless trying to talk about it here.

Fakenewsday · 15/02/2017 15:03

yeah I do think there haven't been enough comments from the Op understanding that she has plenty of good choices, I do feel that having to do very long hours with small kids to survive is an awful situation - and that SAHP should be subsidized rather than pushing parents of small kids into low wage jobs. I was reading the disability cuts thread last night and it's an absolute outrage what the govt is doing there.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 15/02/2017 15:08

making dinner for me and the DC

Your £29k pays for three meals and snacks for them! They won't need dinner.

Seriously, not having to think about DC's food in nursery days can be a godsend.

Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 15:10

fake its just the reality of the kind of work i do unfortunately. I do have quite a high pressure/responsibility role too although not to the level of DH (i'm 2 years younger than him too). I know i can just give up working but I haven't been working many years and I will still be quite young once both DC are in school. I will want to get back into work then and most of the advice i get is about keeping a foot in which is why i went for the higher paid job. Im now starting to think if it might be better to do a masters or something after taking a few years out to bring myself up to date.

Thanks Jaxing * feel like people wont be happy until I'm walking 10 miles to work with bare feet.

OP posts:
Original poster
childcarechallenge · 15/02/2017 15:11

Yippie they only get "tea" at 4pm!

OP posts:
Fakenewsday · 15/02/2017 15:16

mine always want a nice dinner after nursery too - yes, especially if that move is on the cards soon. I could see the logic if you were staying in London for 5 years but as it is your DH could push for more money now, sort the move out and you could have a slightly lower stress life whilst you have the little ones. You are young you've got plenty of time to push ahead - you'll be gearing up when a lot of women are winding down.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 15/02/2017 15:21

"childcare" because they have their main meal in the middle of the day!

Please trust me on this - your DC will not need an evening meal. They will be so shattered that it will be all you can do to get a banana and some milk down them before bed.

WayfaringStranger · 15/02/2017 15:26

I find it impossible to believe that you don't have time to make lunch. I'm sure there are circumstances when people genuinely don't have a minute, perhaps they care for multiple children with SN or have a disability themselves. Unless you're going to drip feed more info, it sounds like you'r just making excuses. What do you eat in the evening? Make a bit extra and stick it in a Tupperware. I work a busy job and rarely get a lunch break. I shovel food at my desk or a sandwich in the car. Honestly, there are plenty of families where both parents work and it's a busy, hectic life. What a drama.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 15/02/2017 15:27

six You earn less than 10 pounds a day before taking off expenses? Isn't that illegal? Unless you are working for an hour or so a day

I probably work around 100 hours per week. But you know as a carer the govt can legally pay me just £63 per week for my 100 hours.

Fakenewsday · 15/02/2017 15:29

that's a scandal six there should be a better system for assessing how much carers are doing every week and remunerating them appropriately, it's outrageous.