I'm 54. My mum, bless her, can still make me feel like a wicked child if I don't do whatever it is she'd prefer I did.
My sister is 55 next month. She lives just 1/12 - 2 hrs away from me. I have, in the past travelled miles on special occasions, to celebrate birthdays/christenings/weddings/births etc. My mum has arranged a lunch at a nice restaurant close to where she (and my sister and family) live. I have said that sadly, I can't make it. And, it has begun..... I feel BAD. She has phoned me several times in one day, to talk me round.
My DH and I have had a tough time with sd who has been really very ill. I feel tired and less and less inclined to attend things and slap on a smile and I guess, I've become somewhat reclusive. It doesn't bother me; it allows me to feel settled and cope better with everything we have "on" with sd. Am I being unreasonable? I usually give in and "do as I'm told" but I'd just rather send my sister a lovely card and maybe go see her soon. I love her dearly but I can't do this dinner thing because my mum will sulk and play the martyr, if I don't.