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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not been paid - AIBU to write a letter or go round there?

79 replies

Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 19:17

A couple of weeks ago I had a response to an advert I had put on Facebook marketplace selling a pair of vintage rollerskates. The man asked if I could post them as he lives an hour away and I said I would look into a courier as they are extremely heavy and so sending them by Royal mail would be very expensive. Hermes was a lot cheaper than Royal mail however I don't have a printer so couldn't print out the label - I asked him if he could hang on a couple of days to give me chance to go to my mum's and use the printer there. He said that was fine as long as he got them early February because they were a present for his wife. For one reason after another I didn't have chance to go to my mum's so I ended up going to the post office and sending them by Parcelforce for over £11 (but didn't charge him any extra as I had said that I would send it by courier) so I actually ended up sending them before he'd paid me to save another trip into town... stupid in hindsight but we'd communicated a fair bit and he'd seemed very nice and had offered to pay before but I told him to hang on until I had the final price from Hermes. I then messaged him to tell him that I had sent the skates, and he responded and said that he had done a bank transfer. It was still not showing in my account over the next few days so I messaged him a few times to let him know. He came back and said it was a business account therefore it would take three working days from that point. That was nearly 2 weeks ago, the payment is still not in my account and he's stopped opening my Facebook messages. I have messaged him to say that I'm happy to provide evidence that it's not gone into my account, and could he re-check the sort code and account number because he may have put the wrong number in. Anyway as I said he's not even answering or reading my messages now so what should I do? I've got his address obviously because I sent him the skates so would it be reasonable to send a letter? I don't actually think he's deliberately not paid me, I think there's just been some kind of mixup (maybe the payment was returned or something?) and if he looked into it then he would see that. But he's not even reading my messages. It might sound a bit pathetic but i'm a single parent and £25 is a lot of money to me and I already paid out over £11 sending the bloody things!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 10:59

Update for anyone that's interested - turns out he had made a mistake which he realised once he bothered opening my messages and paid up straight away!

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 14/02/2017 11:07

Ah fab news OP Smile

You got your money and hopefully your faith in humanity has been restored!

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 11:12

Thanks Chloe, maybe I'm not so stupid and naive as others were saying - I really did have a feeling it was a mistake Smile

OP posts:
MagicMoments22 · 14/02/2017 11:15

Legally its not theft. Its a contract dispute. He agreed to pay you and you agreed to handover the skates. You should have taken payment first. You can pursue it by writing a letter setting things out.

If you wish to take it further ie. small claims court you could be spending out a lot of money. He can dispute and not pay as he has the item.

MagicMoments22 · 14/02/2017 11:16

just saw the updates - well done

WidowTwonky · 14/02/2017 11:29

Sorry but you are naive. And lucky this time

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 11:33

WidowTwonky I couldn't care less what you think

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 14/02/2017 11:54

Right. If you don't care what people think, maybe don't do something stupid then ask for advice on a public forum? Confused

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 12:15

Fenella why don't you read the op and try to understand that I didn't ask for opinions on whether or not I'm naive? Am I meant to be grateful for comments on a question I didn't ask?! Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 12:17

Obviously too tempting for people with nothing positive to say to leave Debbie Downer comments on a thread with a positive outcome.

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 14/02/2017 12:27

Good news all round. I am quite a trusting person too and I believe that most people are trustworthy. I think generally if you trust people to do the right thing then they will. I am a teacher and 99% of our kids do the right thing the vast majority of the time. Probably naive but hey.

GinIsIn · 14/02/2017 12:27

I did read your OP. Which is why I agree that you were incredibly naive.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 12:32

Fenella oh the irony of someone who clearly lacks basic comprehension skills calling me stupid. I give up with you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 12:33

Bobbybobbins be careful of saying that publicly or you'll be jumped on by the miserable cynics. I know what approach I'd rather take to life!

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 14/02/2017 12:39

Have you learned anything though Sophie?
Because - as the saying goes - Fool Me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me...
You got lucky this time, but most people are arseholes and wouldn't pay up.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 12:42

Alpaca I guess that's where we differ. I believe most people are generally good. Except on AIBU of course Grin

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 14/02/2017 12:52

I did not call you stupid, I pointed out that you did something stupid, which I hardly think you can dispute as true. If we are to discuss comprehension skills, you surely can't think it an intelligent move to post off an item to a stranger without payment....? Hmm

lubeybooby · 14/02/2017 12:55

go round and embarrass him - tell his wife he hasn't paid for her skates

cheeky bastard

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 13:40

Fenella I'm not sure how many more times I can try to explain this to you but one last try: my question was 'WIBU to write a letter or go round there?' NOT 'have I been naive/stupid?'. Yet you are repeatedly just telling me I'm naive/ stupid. I'm wondering whether you're trolling because surely that's not a difficult concept to understand. It's gone something like this:

Oui - Here's what happened, WIBU to write or go round there?
Fenella - what a stupid thing to do, how naive
Oui - ok but I didn't actually ask that
Fenella - very naive, can't believe you did that
Oui - yes but that's not what I'm....
Fenella - You're naive. So naive. NAIVE... NAAAIIIIIIIVVVVVE

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 14/02/2017 13:43

Perhaps if you'd acknowledged you'd been a dick rather than telling people you don't care what they think, people wouldn't feel the need to keep telling you. As you don't seem to be taking the stupidity on board, people are reinforcing the point to prevent you from doing it again. HTH.

QuinoaKeen · 14/02/2017 13:48

Good news Oui! So glad this had a happy ending Smile.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 14/02/2017 13:58

Fenella I'm not feeding you anymore

Thanks Quinoa!

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 14/02/2017 14:01

I have no need of feeding thanks. My purpose was to point out that you shouldn't be openly hostile to posters like Alpaca and WidowTwonky when they are making a valid point, but it doesn't seem like one you have the common sense to process so I shan't bother further.

Wormwoodm · 14/02/2017 14:18

Sadly lots of people seem very genuine on line and aren't. In the future only take money via paypal goods as that is secure. Other methods can be reversed. Too late for this time but good for future reference.
Im not sure what you can do with this sadly as think he will continue to ignore letters as he has your
Facebook messages. Ive had people claim they haven't received things via eBay and been given a full refund. I even had proof one had signed for the item but eBay still refunded. Its not a nice feeling.

Wormwoodm · 14/02/2017 14:22

Just saw update, good news!