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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not been paid - AIBU to write a letter or go round there?

79 replies

Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 19:17

A couple of weeks ago I had a response to an advert I had put on Facebook marketplace selling a pair of vintage rollerskates. The man asked if I could post them as he lives an hour away and I said I would look into a courier as they are extremely heavy and so sending them by Royal mail would be very expensive. Hermes was a lot cheaper than Royal mail however I don't have a printer so couldn't print out the label - I asked him if he could hang on a couple of days to give me chance to go to my mum's and use the printer there. He said that was fine as long as he got them early February because they were a present for his wife. For one reason after another I didn't have chance to go to my mum's so I ended up going to the post office and sending them by Parcelforce for over £11 (but didn't charge him any extra as I had said that I would send it by courier) so I actually ended up sending them before he'd paid me to save another trip into town... stupid in hindsight but we'd communicated a fair bit and he'd seemed very nice and had offered to pay before but I told him to hang on until I had the final price from Hermes. I then messaged him to tell him that I had sent the skates, and he responded and said that he had done a bank transfer. It was still not showing in my account over the next few days so I messaged him a few times to let him know. He came back and said it was a business account therefore it would take three working days from that point. That was nearly 2 weeks ago, the payment is still not in my account and he's stopped opening my Facebook messages. I have messaged him to say that I'm happy to provide evidence that it's not gone into my account, and could he re-check the sort code and account number because he may have put the wrong number in. Anyway as I said he's not even answering or reading my messages now so what should I do? I've got his address obviously because I sent him the skates so would it be reasonable to send a letter? I don't actually think he's deliberately not paid me, I think there's just been some kind of mixup (maybe the payment was returned or something?) and if he looked into it then he would see that. But he's not even reading my messages. It might sound a bit pathetic but i'm a single parent and £25 is a lot of money to me and I already paid out over £11 sending the bloody things!

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 12/02/2017 20:05

I can understand why you think a letter could work - you think he's sent the payment and that he thinks you're now just prattling on for no reason, so he's ignoring you. Whereas he'll open a letter as he won't initially know it's from you. I'm really sorry to say that unfortunately I think you have his motive wrong, and he's taken this opportunity to not pay. I hope I'm wrong though and for what it's worth, I don't think you've got anything to lose by giving the letter a go.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 20:08

Thank you, yes that's exactly what I mean.. and I realise I could be wrong but I will write a letter as it won't hurt.

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 12/02/2017 20:10

You are not stupid Ouisophie. I was tempted to send something before I was paid for it a few weeks ago but I checked the feedback for the buyer. It made me less trusting, so I waited until the item was paid for. It took several e-mails and a report this buyer to eBay before she paid.

WrittenandGrown · 12/02/2017 20:13

I think you will waste more money sending a letter to him and it won't make him pay. I would report him to the Facebook group administrators.

MongerTruffle · 12/02/2017 20:13

I'm not going to bother posting on here again, people here just seem to want to belittle others rather than helping

That's kind of the point of AIBU.

KathArtic · 12/02/2017 20:13

If you are thinking of going round to his house why didn't you just deliver when he had paid?

luckylucky24 · 12/02/2017 20:13

I would send a letter to his wife. "I hope you enjoyed your birthday present. The skates still have not been paid for, if you can ask your husband to open his messages I would appreciate it. "

Childrenofthestones · 12/02/2017 20:21

Go round and key his car to the value of the goods.

Butttons · 12/02/2017 20:24

I would send a message to the Facebook group administrator as well as a letter. He may respond or get blocked from the group

Sorry for all the abuse, you did a nice thing posting them in time for the wife's birthday. FWIW I've been in similar situation with selling stuff on Fb and someone not sending funds via bank transfer and turned out her dh had been in hospital so she'd been struggling with babies

Chloe84 · 12/02/2017 20:36

OP, ignore people calling you stupid. We've all trusted someone to do the right thing at some point in life and been let down.

Send the letter. You will know you did all you could and will get closure.

I'm sure you'll get more in life in reward for your kind nature and this man will get his just desserts.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 21:25

luckylucky24 and Childrenofthestones Grin

Thank you Butttons and Chloe

OP posts:
sakura06 · 12/02/2017 21:38

Can you take them to the small claims court? Not sure if it's worth it financially though... Definitely report them to the group admin.

sakura06 · 12/02/2017 21:43

Sorry I should have said that I think I'm afraid you've been scammed. A letter might work if it's a genuine mistake though, and I suppose there's no harm in trying?

SuiteHarmony · 12/02/2017 21:47

I would send a letter to his wife. "I hope you enjoyed your birthday present. The skates still have not been paid for, if you can ask your husband to open his messages I would appreciate it. "

^ I would so do this.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 22:01

Sakura I think it's about £70 to take someone to small claims... but could I perhaps report this to the police as theft? Because I have proof that I sent them and proof he didn't pay me?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/02/2017 22:07

I was wondering how long it would be until the police were mentioned. It's not theft op, you sent them without payment.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 22:33

Even though he promised payment? I have it all in writing

OP posts:
Magzmarsh · 12/02/2017 22:36

Good luck with that op, possession is nine tenths of the law. I think you're on a hiding to nothing.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 22:37

Yeah I think you're right to be honest. I'm still going to write to him though

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/02/2017 22:39

Small claims court, it's not a police matter.

RNBrie · 12/02/2017 22:43

Write to him. Tell him your circumstances and how much you need the money. Tell him he has 14 days to pay you or you will open a case with the small claims court.

Keep a copy of the letter and send it signed for.

It does cost about £70 to file a claim but you ask for costs as well. And frankly the letter should be enough to show him you mean business. Check on the small claims court that your letter includes the right information as there are very specific steps you need to follow.

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 22:50

Thank you RNBrie, that's helpful

OP posts:
WicksEnd · 12/02/2017 22:58

Write to him, tell him you've not had payment yet and he needs to get his skates on. Grin sorry!

BonnyScotland · 12/02/2017 23:04

He's a thieving scumbag .... trying to pull a fast one... threaten plaster his name and address and lying correspondence on Facebook ... then tell him your coming to his home to collect the Skates... with a group of friends .... x

Original poster
Ouisophie · 12/02/2017 23:04

Wicks Grin

OP posts:
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