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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That on Monday a Mum brought her sick child who was off, to school whilst...............

77 replies

anniebear · 28/02/2007 11:13

she picked up the older sister? But..........

I know she had to bring the younger one as she couldn't leave her at home on her own. She is in my DD's class. But, instead of standing at the gate and waiting to pick up her older Daughter, she came and stood with us outside yr 1's classroom whilst we waited for our children to come out

Then the little girl told us she had been sick lots and the mum said " and shes onto her 4th pair of trousers"!!!!!!!!

Then the little girl (6) went up to my friends 20month old in her pram! My friend asked politely if she could maybe just kept away

I am so puzzled. The child is still off today. So why on earth come and stand with us and our little ones when she could have waited at the gate away from everyone????

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/02/2007 12:47

Ditto what blu said. Overall I think you are being unreasonable.

stleger · 28/02/2007 12:59

I agree with clumsymum - people should help wach other out more. (And since most bugs go round our school like wildfire, we all need a bit of help!)

foxtrot · 28/02/2007 13:16

i don't think you are being unreasonable, especially about LO in prams. Having said that most bugs do go round, so it's probably a case of you'll catch it sooner rather than later.

Socci · 28/02/2007 13:23

Message withdrawn

monkeymonkeymoomoo · 28/02/2007 13:31

I agree with you Anniebear, we all know how horrible these bugs are so why spread them on unneccessarily.

emsiewill · 28/02/2007 13:33

Anniebear, not really a comment about whether I think you are unreasonable or not - I just wanted to say I think you have remained remarkably calm, good humoured and well mannered in contrast to so many other people I have seen who have "gone off on one" when people have dared to disagree with them.

For that, I salute you.

clumsymum · 28/02/2007 13:36

What I mean is, has anyone ever said to that mum "If ever you need one of them bringing to school or picking up, you can always call me"?
Has anyone said it to you?

I think we should all make sure we know someone who can give us that sort of 'cover', even just for things like expecting a delivery.

kittywaitsfornumber6 · 28/02/2007 14:01

Annibear, I think you are really overreacting. Kids get bugs. I don't like it when people are precious about bug fgs.

stleger · 28/02/2007 14:02

I'm agreeing again! I know I'd happily help out, I'm sure others would do the same for me....but hate asking!

Bozza · 28/02/2007 14:04

Yes clumsymum I agree. I have deliberately cultivated a certain level of "cover" for these kinds of events as I don't have family local. But I also return the favour whenever possible. Last week my friend had someone in fixing her computer and I picked her DD up from nursery with mine. That is the kind of thing you mean, I think.

video · 28/02/2007 14:45

Completely agree with you Anniebear. Cannot believe the reactions of some of the other people on this thread and well done for remaining polite to them!

Enid - maybe you should reread some of your posts? Slight over reaction maybe??

clumsymum · 28/02/2007 14:46

Exactly Bozza.

I make sure that the parents of all ds's little friends feel that they can ring me if they need that sort of help.

We aren't necessarily bosom buddies, but I'd like to think they'll ask if they need it.

Twiglett · 28/02/2007 14:49

actually I'm quite surprised how this thread has gone

I wouldn't want a child with sickness and diorrheoa near me or my toddler when they could just as easily stand 10 paces away and wave hello

I'm with you Anniebear .. don't think its unreasonable at all

now of course kids get sick, but personally I'd like to minimise infection rates

Twiglett · 28/02/2007 14:51

just caught up on other comments .. I have to say I get people to pick up my DS when we just can't be bothered

there are huge advantages to living the next road down on the corner

so very many people pass our front (and back) doors

and its no skin off their noses

beckybrastraps · 28/02/2007 14:52

I'm with anniebear. I'm not in the least "precious about bugs", but diarrhoea and vomiting is deeply unpleasant and it's only good manners to minimise other people's exposure. The objection was to the encouraging of contact I thought, and not the presence of the child per se.

Marina · 28/02/2007 14:53

Dd was sick on Sunday night and I kept her on a pretty tight rein when we went to collect ds after school on Monday (she was much better by then and probably not contagious, but you never know)
I tend to agree open air settings mean less likelihood of infection, but dd was not allowed to smooch her long-lost nursery friends or anyone's baby while we were waiting.
So I think I'm with you on this anniebear

becklespeckle · 28/02/2007 15:08

I think you totally reasonable anniebear - it would make me uncomfortable too! I know you can't keep your infectious younger children away from all the others but I always limit mine to just the area we NEED to go to collect the older child.

sleepysooz · 28/02/2007 15:46

I would hate it, infact I would have moved away, each to their own!

suedonim · 28/02/2007 17:11

I think it's pretty reasonable to not want to get a D&V bug! When my boys were small I used to get all their bugs and it's awful trying to cope with sick children when you are throwing up as well and your dh is away for weeks.

I remember someone once bringing a toddler with diarrhoea running out of the bottom of his trouser legs to a M&T group. I made my excuses and left!

PeckaRolloverAgain · 28/02/2007 17:19

Im with you anniebear - I HATE tummybugs and if any of my friends have one or their kids I ask them not to come round and I wouldnt go to them. (I also wash my hands every 30 seconds and pray a lot!!)

Everyone gets bugs but no, I wouldnt like it at all if a child leaned into my babies pram with one.

octopussyintummy · 28/02/2007 17:28

I would have to take my youngest with me to school if he was sick - and right up to the classroom - can't leave him at home or in car. I wouldn't let him touch anyone else though - esp if in pushchair.

I wouldn't take them anywhere when they are sick if didn't have to - and don't let sick kids come round either! Think its good manners to let people know if your kids have been sick or have cold etc before you go round then they can decide whether they want you or not!

On the other side - went to softplay with my sister the other day and her friend came with her 5 month old who had D&V and took her in the baby bit for a roll around - I passed on the invitation to join them in there - also made sure mine didn't touch her either! Also when she asked me to hold her made sure didn't touch her face and washed hands afterwards!!!

So I can see your point but marginally unreasonable for poor woman with sick child!

nightowl · 28/02/2007 17:55

are you all good friends? do you have a little group? perhaps she thought if she stood at the gates and ignored you all she's get slated for it. (have seen it happen).

ive never wanted to be friends with any of the school mothers. potential minefield. i stand on my own so there'd be no problem there! i just dont get this school gate thing.

nightowl · 28/02/2007 17:56

she'd even..not she's!

happybiggirl · 28/02/2007 18:20

Message withdrawn

Fooey · 28/02/2007 18:25

Agree Twiglett

"I wouldn't want a child with sickness and diorrheoa near me or my toddler when they could just as easily stand 10 paces away and wave hello"

A lot of people are rather gung ho about d + v bugs and that is fair enough when it is you and your children who are at risk of being infected. However please do other people the courtesy of not being gung ho on their behalf.

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