Kids parties can be an absolute fucking nightmare

[FunnysInLaJardin]

So I have 2 DS's. We have been through sleepover hell, house party hell and I thought with DS2 we had it sussed.

Apparently not. Soft play/gym type party which should have been supervised but wasn't so DH had to marshall 12 7yo's while I did the food.

We sat down to eat and one child shouted at me that he needed entertaining while he ate and where was the telly/DVD. Found a telly and was trying to put a DVD on, while I was saying sit down and eat etc. Lots of running about, screaming when the lights went out for the cake and shouting through 'Happy Birthday'. Then some boys proceeded to take their clothes off at which point DH got angry and ended up sending one boy out of the party for his frankly awful behaviour.

These are all boys from DS2's class at school and who are largely speaking nice well behaved boys.

So the conclusion is, no more large parties. Just a couple of friends to the cinema from now on.

It has taken us 11 years to reach that conclusion

DH got angry and ended up sending one boy out of the party

Where did he send a 7Yo ?

They get overexcited and silly at parties

Why would any child need a DVD at that point?

I've been to a party (class) of 5yo's and no one behaved that badly?

I went to my nephews first birthday but though he was only 1 alot of friends with older children had been invited. There werent really any other babies there. Children from 3+

Ive only been to a handful of kids parties but this last one was enough for me to say never ever again.

It was hell on earth. One of the children picked up my nephews new presents and threw them around risking breaking them while the parents sat and watched it.

Another child was jealous of the attention and presents my nephew got (she was nearly 4 and not her home or her birthday) and took several of the new toys upstairs and hid as she wanted them. Her parents said she has jealous tendencies and will eventually give them back: in other words they werent prepared to do anything about it. so my SIL went upstairs and physically took the toys off her and told her to get back downstairs.

One boisterous 5 year old was risking breaking something my nephew had been given so I took it away only to be followed as he tried to wrench it out of my hands, pulling my fingers apart. I sat on the sofa and hid it behind my back and he went mad trying to get behind me to get it. I eventually shouted at him to stop it not caring what his parents thought. They again sat and watched it and didnt tell him off.

There's no fun in kids parties at all and Ive only been to a handful.

Id never bother with big parties just a couple of friends to an activity.

I would not have pandered to the tv demands! It would have been a curt "you are at a party, you don't need that."

I had to tell a group of boys off at a party today, they were fighting in the hallway! Most of the parents weren't there, I went over and told them they were not fight and they had to go back in the room, quite firmly. I find other children tend to respond to my firmness. Shame my own don't . Inyqve no issue telling children off for bad behaviour when they are at a party I am hosting. Maybe this is where you are going wrong?

Why would any child need a DVD at that point?

It depends how they are raised. One of my friends dds has a dvd on and given a tablet to watch YouTube on at every meal time even breakfast.

I can quite imagine her going to school and asking for a dvd at lunchtime.

Even the nicest of children will take the piss if they think they can get away with it :( You have to be quite firm and direct with them as they will get over excited & try it on.
YANBU

harry I have no qualms telling other parents children off and did so today. Said absolutely no TV/DVD's you have to talk like civilised people do when they are eating.

DH told one boy to put his top back on and he refused and so DH said he would have to leave if he didn't do what he was told. He still refused and so DH took him out to the other room where he stayed until his Dad came to take him home.

I suspect they get away with similar at home and so should not be surprised really .

I think I felt most sorry for DS2 who sat quietly eating with his best friend and looked totally bemused. I feel it spoiled his party for him

I have three DDs who are virtually grown up now.

In all those years I only held a handful of large-ish parties. It was grin and bear it as I didn't enjoy them at all. Fortunately I didn't encounter the level of bad behaviour you describe, but we still were glad to switch to just a couple of friends at the cinema.

Don't feel bad that you had to bollocks some horrid brats. They deserved it.

With regard to the boy who couldn't settle and eat without TV and DVD, I would have told him he couldn't have it and not to be so ridiculous. If he had persisted then I might have removed him from the room, just as your DH had to do with the strippers.

I can honestly say that in 9 years of boys parties I have never come across such awful behaviour . I am always apprehensive about the DC's parties, but this topped them all.

It doesn't help that 2 of the boys who were awful are identical twins and I can't tell one from the other. They know this and certainly use it to their advantage. Ie I don't want to shout 'Bob sit down' incase it isn't Bob, but is 'Ben'

Actually I seem to remember that when I was younger, everyone wore their nice party clothes (dresses/shirt and trousers) and I think were all well behaved around the table for eating, playing games and all joining in with the singing. Fast forward to when mine started going to parties and it seemed to be the case that everyone was wearing the complete opposite to 'best' clothes and that some children thought it was ok to throw food around and not bother to join in singing but run around doing their own thing instead.

Is it my imagination or is there so much going on these days that a party isn't so special anymore?

I have definitely noticed that many children don't wear party clothes these days. I always dress mine up and tell DS he has to wear a shirt (despite his protests). A lot of them look quite scruffy tbh. I do notice over excited/badly behaved children too. Some try it on because their parents aren't there I think, definitely the case with one of DS's friends.

We have done our last big party I think. DCs love it but I do find it tiring and stressful. Think we'll do something with a few friends in future. DS's party this year was a brilliant activity witha few friends, first time this group had done this activity and they loved it. Worked out expensive per head but was really good fun. Unfortunately I did say to DS he may have a class party for year 6, before they all leave and split but I may change my mind.

My children have had 57 birthdays between them.
Lots at home, some out. We've had a handful of parties that have been too noisy, or with a couple of especially badly behaved children. i think you do have to manage the children and organise them firmly. It helped being a teacher!

Is this the norm?! Do children usually act like this at parties.

What did the parent say when he had to pick up his ds early?

These are all boys from DS2's class at school and who are largely speaking nice well behaved boys

Clearly, no, they're not well behaved boys. Stripping off their clothes? Demanding DVDs/TV? Rudely shouting through HB? Totally unacceptable.

I've either hosted or been to so many kids birthday parties in the last 20 years that I've lost count, and I've NEVER come across anything like the OP described. I'm hoping the OP's party was an anomaly.

Neither my children nor their friends are perfect angels by any means, but at least they know how to behave at a party.

If your DC want to have a large party again, I wouldn't punish them by saying 'no' based on what this particular awful group of kids was like. Just ensure these specific children are never invited again!

There are some 'high spirited' boys in dd's class and it only takes one or two of them to start a mass brawl. One of the parents brings atleast one uninvited sibling everytime. I was harassed by a group of 6 boys clammering for cake and they went into the kitchen opening cupboards looking for treats! Never again after that party, it was horrendous.

Sounds awful op, I wouldn't stop doing parties for your DCs but I wouldn't invite any of the badly behaved kids again especially the one that was sent out.
I attended a 3 hour party (Too bloody long Imo) the kids were well behaved and yes a few ran round hitting each other with balloons (my son included) but no one got hurt and they all had a good time.

I blame the parents.

"Said absolutely no TV/DVD's you have to talk like civilised people do when they are eating."

But you said in your OP that you got the TV to put the DVD on. If any child had asked for one at any of my parties I would have firmly told him/her that noone needs entertaining while they eat and that there would be no DVD.

I've been to many kids' parties and have only witnessed bad behaviour a couple of times. It's not the norm.

Pps the brat found the TVs and DVD I think, not the parents.

I've had the "delight" of both attending and hosting children's parties.
Highlights include - at one party for 3 year olds, someone turned up with a much older sibling who tried to boss everyone around, dominated the bouncy castle and insisted on joining in all the party games and won them all as they were much older. On the polite suggestion that they share the prizes, they were noisily unhappy. The patents did nothing.
The time one slightly older child realised my son found the sound of the party hooters very distressing, so he chased my son round and round hooting as he thought making my son cry was "funny". The mum did intervene thankfully.
At one of my sons own parties at our church hall we had a fight break out. One child decided he HAD to have his favourite toy out of the toddler toy cupboard. There were plenty of other things to play with, don't know why the mum agreed. Another kid wanted it - cue full on fight. I didn't realise initially as I was making drinks.
I retrieved said toy and put it away and tried to soothe some hurt feelings. Quite a few adults saw the fight and just stood and watched! The children were all 4-5
We had a party for my ds a few months ago that actually went quite well. No fighting, no awful behavior. The only hitch was my mum fused the lights in the hall trying to turn them on too fast after we'd sung happy birthday! It will be his last big party.
However I have a younger child who I will still have to do a few parties for!

Yes Belly the tv and DVD player just happened to be in the room where we ate. It wasn't intended to be used. DH is a teacher and I think that is why he wouldn't let the brattish boy get away with his behaviour.

The boys mum messaged me later to apologise for his awful behaviour however he will never be invited to a party again by us.

After that boy had been sent out the rest of the group calmed down and so it is certainly the case that one or two children can influence the behaviour of all of the others.

Well I remember my 7th birthday party in 1971 descended into chaos and my dad chasing several boys around with a stick. he probably would be arrested nowadays. Good times.

My dss parties were frankly wild and although we didn't allow them in our house,no bloody way, soft play and footie parties were hectic.

Sorry to say my dds parties were an oasis of calm and gentle frivolity.

Op two friends to the cinema and food. Pick up and then drop them home. no sleepovers