To ask what happens when you report a rape?

[WorriedWendyWoooooo]

Feel sick and have no idea what to do

We all think that we would put up more of a struggle, I'd always believed that if anyone tried to do that to me, I would kick, shout, scream, bite or be overcome with superhuman strength that Would change the situation.

When I was in that situation, I thought he was playing, I told him to stop, I told him he was hurting me, I reacted stronger, it made no difference. At that moment I think I'd realised it would be better if I just let him do it.

I believe that this is normal. So many people in this position are overcome with fear.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. You did nothing wrong, AT ALL.

Please call the police and get this reported

I'll give you a brief synopsis of what happened to me

My ex broke into my flat and was there when I got home after taking my dd to nursery

He attacked me and finally left. I then rang 999. The police turned up, two female officers and they were lovely They helped me pack some clean clothes and then they took me to the police station to the rape suite and talked me through everything that had happened.

They called a doctor to get forensics from me, yes it was horrible but it needed to be done. I cried all the way through it. They bagged my clothes and let me have a shower and get dressed in clean clothes.

By this time it was getting quite late and one of the police officers went to collect my dd from nursery and leave her with my neighbour (who I'd said would take her in). The statement took several hours to go over.

Meanwhile forensics had been collected from my home. There was finger print dust on things and they had bagged up several items which were pertinent to the case.

The police also contacted victim support on my behalf and they came out the very next day and to someone to fix extra security to my home and fix the broken locks.

I did not fight back. I was terrified I was just thinking about staying alive for my daughter I still have horrendous flashbacks nearly 20 years on but I am still glad that I reported it.

I didn't fight I froze, I think because my brain couldn't comprehend that he wasn't stopping when I told him to. It was still rape, he knew I didn't want what was happening and he carried on regardless, same goes for your ex OP.

I can't really advise about reporting, I was only 13 so it didn't really occur to me, I do think calling rape crisis might be a good idea for you though, it may well help you make a decision about whether to report.

Just want to reassure you about the carrying on as normal, going to work etc. Totally normal response, it's such a huge shock I think you just go into autopilot and doing what you'd normally do is easier (in a weird way) than the alternative, which is facing up to and potentially dealing with what's happened to you.

You need to put some support in place above all else, please ring rape crisis or at least tell someone you trust, the reality of what's happened will crash in at some point and you shouldn't try to deal with that alone.

If you can't manage to call someone but need someone to 'hold your hand' online feel free to PM me

Do you still have your clothes and underwear that you were wearing this morning? Put them safely to one side, don't wash them. It's hard, but don't bath or shower. Do you have someone in real life you can call for support? A friend? You can call rape crisis (someone put the number above).

Give the police a call. Speak to them, they WILL believe you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, if you don't want an internal exam - fine, if you don't want to make a statement - fine. But nobody can tell you more about the process than the police. Pick up the phone, tell them you have been raped, and then take it from there. One decision at a time. Don't worry about five steps down the line, you just need to notify them now.

Yes I still have my clothes.

If I call the police now then how long will this take? Will they talk to me tonight? Will I be at the station all night?

Good luck OP. Didn't want to read and run. Hope you are ok. You are absolutely doing the right thing by reporting. I admire your bravery. Thanks from all the women who couldn't. Xxx

Please get help. I was too young and alone to report it. Please report even if you don't take it further. Tell the police.

They will try to get someone to you asap, although on a Saturday night things might be busy. How it works then is different depending on where you are - in my force they'd get an officer out to speak to you briefly for a basic account, then recontact you tomorrow regarding a formal statement - you will be offered the option of a video interview instead of a written statement, which will be easier for you. Forensic exam will be offered but is entirely your choice. It would be a female doctor, and they are lovely.

Wendy it doesn't matter if you were drinking last night, it doesn't matter he is your ex, or why you went to his home, we believe you.
Report it, if you don't think you can right now, bag up the clothes you were wearing and put them somewhere safe. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Hi Worried, not rape but for me was sexual assault and it took a few days to tell someone so I didn't have the medical/ examinations side to deal with but called the non emergency police number and they came out to my house within an hour took a statement then arrested the boy the same night. I imagine this would be similar with your ex and even if he is released on bail there will be conditions so he can't contact you. Sorry this happened to you and hope it all works out :( xx

Hope you're ok?x

Worried Did you call them? How are you feeling this morning?

How are you this morning OP?

How are you? Thinking of you

I think you should report it and they will tell you whether there is enough evidence to make it worth going court.
With due respect mycatsapirate your circumstances were very different.Your ex broke in to your home whereas the OP went round to her ex's voluntarily after a heavy drinking session. Not saying the OP won't be successful, but the 2 circumstances are not comparable.

I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve with that post angel.

angel Really? Because when it went to Court he claimed I gave him keys, he claimed I invited him round. Rapists will lie through their teeth and say 'she asked for it' wherever it happens.

And my attacker got away with it. Found Not Proven under Scottish Law. It was an awful time and while I'm glad I went through with it and forced him into Court, I just wish he'd been convicted.

It took five years to get Criminal Injuries and when I turned up for the appeal for that, the police woman who had attended when I first rang 999 was there. She said she had often thought about me and wondered how I was doing. She felt awful that he hadn't been convicted.

Hi Worried, feel terrible for you and hope you have been able to talk to someone. Please report him, it does not matter if you had been drinking or had had sex with him previously. If you did not consent to sex then it is rape. You just need to tell police the full facts and not try to hide anything.

How are you op?