To ask you all how you met your DP/DHs - and what you love about them?

[BlueDaBaDee]

Just broken up with wanker exP. I reallllly really hate being single so it was hard but I'm going to be strong this time! I just want a nice normal life snuggled up on the sofa every night with someone watching Netflix

Anyway, I love these threads and it will help me keep my resolve when I get the inevitable begging for one last chance messages - so can everyone tell me how you met your OH and what you love about them?

Basically tell me about your healthy, happy relationships so I'm less tempted to enter back into my toxic previous one!

I met my DH 20 years ago now, at University. We were in an extended friendship group but never got together at Uni (I was busy with a series of unhealthy relationships)
We met again at a reunion dinner. The minute he walked in the room I knew. We have been together ever since, 1DC and 1 due at Easter.
There are many things I love about him. He is fiercely loyal and has a strong moral code. He is tall, handsome and has a real presence when he enters a room. He has a mind as sharp as a razor blade, and he has a very dry sense of humour, which I love. He helps me to be the best version of myself that I can.

(But he's not perfect- a bit lazy around the house, can be a bit lacking in empathy and can struggle to show his feelings, but no ones perfect!)
OP, I believe there's someone out there for everyone, and despite what you read on Mumsnet, there are some good men out there!
I've been with some utter bastards before my DH, but it did help me recognise a good man when I saw one.

Met DH on OkCupid just over four years ago - I was just out of a long-term relationship and really just dipping my toe in the water. We clicked instantly and sent each other over 25000 words of messages in the 7 days leading up to our first date (which he later had printed into a book as a present for me). Once we met we were pretty much inseparable from the off.

I love him mostly because he's one of the kindest people I've ever met. He's a policeman (agree with PP the uniform is a bonus ) and dealing with such shite all day every day could make him really cynical, but he always has a good word to say about everyone and is eternally (occasionally infuriatingly) optimistic. He's silly and funny and we share a slightly odd sense of humour. I know I could tell him anything at all and he'd 'get it'. He loves kids and is a wonderful Dad to DS. He's never said a word of complaint about being the sole earner as I've been a student or on maternity leave for our entire relationship, and has seen me through a total breakdown of relationship with my mother, and PND. He's my rock and my best friend - he knows all the less-than-perfect things about me and still makes me feel like he thinks I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. He has his moments of grumpiness and irritatingness like everyone, and has not really mastered putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher as opposed to near it, but overall he is utterly wonderful and I feel incredibly lucky to have found him. We do spend a lot of time snuggling watching Netflix .

I hope you find someone you can do that with too OP - onwards and upwards!

We met online! I came out of a very long, toxic relationship that I had gone back to time and time again like you OP.

He had also been in a long relationship that ended because his DP was unfaithful. We have been together almost 3 years and are getting married soon.

He is simply lovely. He's easy going so we rarely argue, he looks after me and I feel protected but I also look after him. We have similar interests and have the utmost respect for each other. Everything about 'us' feels right as opposed to being with my ex where it mostly felt wrong and like a constant battle.

We're getting married soon.

Good luck OP, there are good men out there and when you find one you won't believe the difference!!

Oops, sorry for repeating myself!

I met my DH via online dating. I moved in with him about 4 months after meeting him and we've now been married for almost 4 years, we have a son and I'm pregnant with baby number 2.

The reason I love him is because he's such a good man. He always, always puts me and our son before himself and he is the most fantastic dad. He is so kind to people, goes out of his way to help others and he always thinks of others before himself. Sometimes I do wonder why he puts up with me.....

Met at work - he was so laid back, calm and funny. I was instantly drawn to him and felt happy around him.

Started meeting outside of work and things progressed. We moved in together pretty quickly and then bought our house a year after we'd met. Then DS came along.

I love his sense of humour, his intelligence, his kindness, his love of his family and friends.As shallow as it sounds I love how gorgeous he is as well. He can be a pain in the bum when it comes to household chores and sometimes I feel like I'm keeping the house going, but there are probably times he feels the same.

I met my DH at his works do in '91. My link with this was tangential and fortuitous.

He was intelligent, funny, endlessly inventive and energetic, top dad, as well as being a hard worker and careful planner and provider for us. He died last year. I miss him.

Met in my now BILs house, I'd popped in to see his partner and DP came out of the shower in a towel
I love his heart, the fact we're a team, that he loves me and shows it, that he is a phenomenal father to our kids (has treated DS1 as his own from early on), that he can make me want to pee laughing, that he makes me feel desirable even when I look and feel like shit, that he puts as much effort into our family as I do, that he's considerate, he's a good man and he's hot!

And cheesy as it may sound, he's my best friend.

10 years ago through OLD - our first dates! Five years of marriage and DC #1 cooking nicely.

He tempers my over enthusiasm and always has an eye on the long term picture. In return he says I've broadened his horizons and that without me he would never have had so many mad-ventures

We're a good balance, but that doesn't mean that we don't argue - often because our "natural settings" are polar opposites. We have to work at a compromise that suits us both, and sometimes, one of us has to concede and put our trust in the other. It generally works out fine!

Have told our story before.
DH was sitting on the floor of a uni bookshop, I hadn't noticed him, stood back from books I was looking at and fell over him, broke my collarbone in the fall.
Trip to A&E.
He found me a few days later, we were on different courses and campuses so wouldn't normally have met.
He took me out into Derbyshire for the day, I went back to his, never left and we married 9 weeks later. 29 years ago next month.

I cannot describe even now what it is, he simply completes me if that makes sense,

His love is unconditional and he gives me the security to be 'me' .. he's the best thing that ever happened to me and he's my best and dearest friend -still get butterflies when I hear his voice!

Met at 17 at work. We both had other halves at that point but they both fizzled out and then we were both single. I had always had a bit of a crush on him but had no idea he was interested in me until one of his mates let it slip. We both got sent on a work trip and had a lot of time to chat in the car. Got together, we both moved on to different jobs, i went to uni and we stuck together.

11 years later and we've been married for 3 years and have a 2 year old DS.

I just love him. We're not soppy or the like but I just do love him. I like him being around, I look forward to seeing him and he truly looks after me and now DS. without fail he makes me a cup of tea every day. I'm terrible and rarely do the same for him

Oh of course some days he irritates the hell out of me usually when I find dirty greasy bike bits on the coffee table but I can't imagine what it's be like without him just being there.

Met through friends. Our first "date" was a double date with said friends. We went to a Chinese buffet, he didn't say a word to me and then dropped his plate on the floor, I think I felt sorry for him haha. He used to be really shy when he first met people (low self esteem, couple of bad relationships) but once you get to know him he's hilarious, caring, strong and rather stubborn. He's come out of his shell so much in the 4 years we've been together. What I really love about him is that he "gets" me, no other bf did. He just gets it, we just fit. It's so cheesy but I can't explain it any other way (this is so outing)

Met him in a gay club 20 years ago, I had gone because I had sworn off men after being dumped, he was there because he had been refused entry to the casino next door and was part of a stag do group dressed as reservoir dogs. So unlikely, but as soon as I met him I felt like I knew him. Went home with him that night and never really left, 3 kids and a wedding later, we are very happy. He is funny and handsome, but over the years it is his kindness and fairness that has kept me with him, he is thoroughly decent. He is also extra clever and chatty, we're so grateful for a rare night out alone and never run out things to say, even though we've ended up working in the same place. My friends moan about their husbands, but I never have much to say.

Thanks so much for your replies. So lovely. I've read every one and thought 'that couldn't be more different than how I feel about exP'. He really is an abusive shit. This is helping me see it.

So sorry echt

Met everywhere! We kept bumping into each other for weeks and weeks - at the gym, shopping, nights out etc. It was one of my colleagues (and close friend) leaving do where we both grew some balls and told each other we fancied the arse off each other. Another colleague of mine brought him along as they were already out in town together and I nearly died on the spot as he rushed to buy me a drink 4 years on and we now have our 5 month old DS. I couldn't love him any more than I do. He's patient, kind, supportive, does a shit load of extra hours at work to give us everything we could possibly wish for, he's insanely handsome and I know he absolutely idolises me and baby. He's also an amazing cook and pulls his weight with the housework. DS is bf'd and he literally propped me up the first few nights and held DS while he fed as I was so exhausted. He also encouraged me to keep going when I was on the verge of giving up. Oh, and I've never, ever met anyone who puts so much thought into gifts. The only thing that annoys me about him is that he never cleans up properly after he shaves. I can live with that

Met dp in Yates on a night out with my friends, he was with his, but had been out quite a bit longer! Was chatting to one of his friends at first trying to set up my friend when I noticed this guy staring at me, so I boldly walked over and asked his name then told him to go to the bar (I cringe when I think of this now, Im so not like that at all so only guess it was the vodka talking).

16 Years later, 1 ds, 1 house renovation that nearly broke us and lots of sad times that weve got each other and still are going through but wouldnt change him for the world.

The thing I love about him is he can go and talk to anyone, he never ever judges people (if im having a moan about my parents for example he will bring up 2 good points for every 1 I moan about).

The thing that clicked was when talking to my sil at xmas, shes new to the family and had only met him twice but when discussing him she said "but thats what hes like isnt it, he will get on with anyone and will always find something to chat about) I suffer from anxiety and am an introvert so I specifically wish I could be like him in that respect. I do think its been his upbringing though too, if something bad happens I will dwell on it for ages and loose confidence, they see to just shrug it off instantly, I love that about them all actually.

I started work and he was promoted within a couple of months to be my boss. We were married within 18 months and still together 30 years and 4 children later. I was just coming out of a nasty relationship and ended up with DH as the total opposite to my normal type. 30 years later I think I'm still on the rebound unfortunately but illness makes it difficult to up and leave

Chin up Blue, I've been where you are and I promise you you have made the right choice. You won't believe how different I truly loving relationship is when you are in one.

DP and I started going out 7 years ago where we met at college. A year later he moved and we managed long distance for 3 years until he moved back home.

I love him because I've gone through a lot since we've been together (I suffer a lot with anxiety and my father was diagnosed with cancer several months ago) and he has always been so patient and supportive. Whenever I'm down he finds a way to pick me up. I have really bad self esteem but he always manages to make me feel confident in myself. We're just on the same wavelength, have the same humour and same values. I can honestly say it's like being with my best friend

We met on holiday and had a long distance relationship for over 2 years. 18 years and 2 DCs later he's my best friend. He always makes me laugh even when I'm in the grumpiest of moods. We are a great team and manage to muddle through lots of ups and downs without any major dramas. He's not perfect but neither am I, we accept this pull together and get through life as best we can.

I met my partner online. I had been single about a year after my abusive ex walked out on me and the kids.
Dp knew that I couldn't move away from the area I live so he moved from up north to be with us. He never pushed to move in to our family home and always said it was right that the kids came first.
Five years on we are still together and we live together. He is helping me raise our/my boys and would do anything for them. Before I met my dp I was resigned to being single for the rest of my life but he has changed all that.
In the last five years dp has supported me through a breakdown and heart problems. He is always there for me and never lets me down. Dp really gets me and understand that I am used to standing on my own two feet. I am seriously independant and stubborn but he loves me anyway.. just as I am. It feels bloody wonderful having this lovely man who doesn't want to change me and just wants me to be happy.