to say something to childminder?

[kel1234]

My lo goes to a childminder. Today he had on a vest, long sleeved t shirt, jeans and a body warmer, and obviously socks and shoes. He also had his coat, hat, scarf and mittens.
The childminder lives literally 5 minutes away from us, and I know that on Fridays she takes them out in the car, so I wasn't too concerned about him not having a long sleeved jumper or jacket on under his coat today (he was perfectly warm enough in the pram with his blanket over him, but I made sure he wasn't too hot with both on). However she sent me a few pictures after i got home of him today. Fine. This afternoon she had them out in her double pram, and my lo only had his t shirt and body warmer on, with his hat. No coat, no scarf, no mittens. I was quite surprised by this as he had his coat there, and the boy next to him had his coat on, so it wasn't she simply didn't feel the need for coats or anything.
WIBU to say something to her next week? She's lovely and I've never had any problems before. My lo looks happy in the picture, but I can't help but think he would have been cold without a coat it was about 3 degrees here today. And they were defiantly outside as there is trees in the background.

Have I missed a step - Is he poorly because of this?

If he has a chill then you should say something. If he hasn't, you are questioning her judgement unnecessarily and no matter how casual you make your enquiry she will know this.

Also I've never met a 1.5 yo yet who couldn't non-verbally communicate their desire to take off/not wear an item of clothing.

I hope you are listening to your dc non verbal communication.

I've been careful not to be rude, tbh.

He was happy in the picture?

That's all you need. A happy toddler being well cared for in the fresh air.

anotherday nor have I! Even at much younger ages both my DC could make it quite clear what they did/didn't want without words.

How are Crumbs and Bum being rude? You are overreacting. Is it really that big a deal? Just say you want him to wear his coat.

How are Crumbs and Bum being rude? can't read that seriously

I think the layers sound fine but if you're concerned then just say. You're paying to have your child looked after, and that includes outside so YNBU.

Interpretation is so interesting here. I don't find bum or crumbs rude at all.

Unless by rude you mean disagreeing with the op.

We aren't discussing a child in a vest and pants in February. With the clothing op described the child was wearing we are right in the realms of subjective opinion based on the environment (eg exact temperature) and situation (e.g. activities prior to photo, planned activities after photo). Nothing in the photo gave her any reason to believe he was unhappy.

Cannot believe I'm breaking this down so much to no doubt be accused of being rude, tbh

I'm interested that op feels she would be judged by childminder if she didn't supply a coat.

1. has this ever happened?
2. is she particularly judgemental generally?

And conversely, not supplying a coat for a full day of different environments and situations is not the same as taking a coat off or judging it a appropriate to keep him in his body warmer.

I'd definitely say something. You could say something along the lines of 'that was a cute photo but I was wondering where his coat was as it was a cold day'

Yanbu
He should have had his coat on if he was just sitting in the prom
And his hat and mittens
Just say something to her

Op please make no mistake, you are a service user. You don't employ this woman, you employ her services.

If she is registered, then she is trained and inspected by ofsted. She understands children's well-being, and safeguarding issues (including neglect - which is what you are technically accusing her of).

If you don't trust her judgement you shouldn't employ her services. It is unfair to her.

Layers are much warmer than just a cost so a vest, long sleeved top and bodwarmer would have been plenty for my DC, but I guess not a kids are the same so perhaps they feel the cold less than others?

And as arethereanyleftatall mentioned, I would not send any more photos, if you even made a 'casual' comment about this.

I'd save my phone bill (which incidentally isn't even something you can claim on your expenses as a childminder unless you have a second phone for personal use).

I wouldn't say anything and I'd try to toughen up a bit!

If your child looked cold or unhappy in the picture that's one thing but the fact that he was smiling and happy probably indicates all was fine. You send your child to this woman every day - do you really not trust her to use her judgment on what clothing is appropriate?!

If you're worried, tell her. I'm sure she'd rather know. Text back and ask if he's warm enough!

It was far too cold to be without a coat yesterday.
I would just say lovely but please can you put a coat on him when it's this cold.
Even if a seventeen month baby didn't want a coat on I would pit one on.
You are entitled to disagree with your childminder not all are as sensitive as some on here .

*Op please make no mistake, you are a service user. You don't employ this woman, you employ her services.+

Sp much for working in partnership with parents

The op has every right to request that her child wears a coat while in the care of the cm
She also has every right to choose another cm if she feels this one is ignoring her wishes

If all the suggestions are so 'impossible' just bloody well ask her then!!!

I'd say thanks for the photos but I did wonder why he only had X on when I'd sent Y.

I don't think yabu OP.

Body warmers are cute, but I always worry their wee arms get cold in this weather.

I'm a bit manic about DD getting cold though. When out for walks we usually do vest, jumper and coat. She has a couple of lovely furry gilets but I'm saving them for spring. I think it's too cold just now. We had snow here yesterday.

YANBU.

I'd say (as a childminder), take him in the clothes you want him to wear. Looking after multiple little ones I don't always have time to search through bags for alternative outfits and just put back on whatever they took off on arrival. I assume your cm did the same.

insancerre I do understand your point about working in partnership with parents - it is extremely important. But that does not mean substituting ones own judgement for the parent's when the child is in your care.

The childminder made a judgement which she was obviously happy with, no hiding it - she sent a photograph. As the thread has shown, some think it's fine and others think it's too cold. It is absolutely a subjective thing. No one really knows unless they were there.

I can't understand why op is making an issue of it when her child was happy in the photograph and is not showing any signs of becoming unwell.

I wonder if it is a indicator of an underlying issue either with op or the relationship between op and cm.

does she have permission to send photographs of minded children to peoples personal phones?

FFS, she is sending photos of the child to HIS MUM.

It's all very strict nowadays bulletjournal. The issue would be taking and storing the photograph on her own phone, and the fact the picture was of another minded child too.

It's mind blowing the rules and regulations you have to be aware of an adhere to as a childminder.

I don't make them unfortunately but my point was that is she wasn't following these guidelines it could be indicative of a level of unprofessionalism.

Oh, I know, it's so sad. Common sense has gone out of the window.

People who know what boxes to tick end up having higher ofsted ratings than the genuinely caring ones. It's depressing.

Rather than say something I'd not send him in a body warmer in future. I think they are an odd garment, too coat-like to be worn indoors or with a coat, but sometimes not enough on its own.