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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to just want to have a shower?

56 replies

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 17:09

I just want a shower! wanted one last night but boiler packed up. engineer came out at midnight left at 1 problem was solved. OH went off to work leaving me and DD at home and since then this kid just wont let up or leave me alone! I have even given her extra TV time and I am having to endure that bastard iggle bloody piggle and upsy daisy practically trying to shag each other every 2 mins and dont get me started on makka pakka selling his rocks from his cave!

Yes my 8 month old is defiantly showing mummy who is boss today! my OH isn't due back until 9 and I am just counting down the mins until DDs bedtime.

I just want a shower and to wash my hair is that so wrong?? :(

OP posts:

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 10/02/2017 17:48

You haven't even had anything to eat? Why not? it seems a bit precious to me to not want to leave her to have a 2 minute shower but whatever, but how can you not have had something to eat? Grab a piece of bread and eat it. While holding your child if necessary.

I'm with you cathelp. Kids don't die if you let them cry for two minutes, and I don't believe your baby will cry herself into vomiting hysterics in that amount of time either.

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 17:48

My 8 month old wouldn't understand that yet. she is also petrified of the bath and shower so her having to watch me go in would be torture for her.

OP posts:

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 17:50

I just having got around to it I am currently eating a snack now before I have my own dinner when she is in bed. Shes just been pretty much sat on top of me all day and by the time I sort her meals I am kind of past it! looking forward to dinner time aswell! lol

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 17:50

I don't believe your baby will cry herself into vomiting hysterics in that amount of time either.

I wouldn't know as I haven't left her to scream yet! But my DSis' baby would. She couldn't be left for more than a minute or two, and, realistically, you need 5 mins for a shower.

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 17:51

Have you a playpen or travel cot? Drag it to the bathroom door so she can see you. Or even her cot! When mine were small their cot was beside my ensuite door so was really handy. Do what you have to do. My daily shower keeps me sane and that's not a joke! Even if it's only 30 seconds to wet, lather and rinse in record time, I need that shower.

formerbabe · 10/02/2017 17:52

I'm sorry but I find it ridiculous. What would you do if you had an older DC who needed to eat or be bathed? Not prepare them a meal or wash them?!

treaclesoda · 10/02/2017 17:54

I don't understand this either. I'm a fairly 'attachment' type, I'm fine with co-sleeping and all that stuff, and I cuddled them for hours at a time when they were babies, and carried them in a sling.

But starving yourself all day or refusing to leave them for long enough to go to the loo/shower etc really isn't necessary, they'll be fine, it's only a couple of minutes, it's not neglect.

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 17:54

Stick iggle piggle on your phone and put her in cot while you jump in shower. Needs must.

ElderDruid · 10/02/2017 17:56

I would put DC in bumbo, with a few entertainy things, have a quick shower, then have a relaxing bath later. Worst case, something drops off and you have to pick it up if baby cries. We all parent differently, if baby is having a niggly day, they won't be traumatised from the odd bout of crying.

Slothlikesundays · 10/02/2017 17:57

Strap baby into rocker/bouncer and bring her into the bathroom with you.

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 17:58

She has a walker, stick her in that and shut bathroom door. Lift all hazardous stuff out of the way.

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 17:59

Former, I really dont think this post should make you angry and you seem to be getting more argumentative as it goes on. would you like to talk about anything or get anything off your mind? we are not here to judge these threads are for support.

I have prepared DDs food today I will be bathing her shortly. If I had a older child I would of prepared their food at the same time and probably wash them both at the same time. I would prepare that childs food because they would be getting to actually eat it then - I wasn't going to be eating the exact same time as my DD because I need to feed her.

This post was more jokey then anything I obviously know she cannot physically stop me doing anything but I just prefer not to hear her distressed and I dont think shes all that well. Today's been frustrating I was simply getting it off my chest where there are other people who are in the same boat and we can have a laugh about it.

As I say if there is anything you would like to talk about then we are here to listen.

OP posts:

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 18:02

Any other day I am happy to leave her to play in the front room or in her room while I take showers/ sort washing or any of that stuff but I am not prepared to upset my little girl anymore then she is already today shes usually very contended so for her this clingyness is unusual

OP posts:

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 18:03

^PA as fuck^!

booellesmum · 10/02/2017 18:03

With DD1 I struggled to get a shower or dressed while on mat leave as she was really clingy.
DD2 came along 3 years later and I needed to get DD1 out to nursery so DD2 came into the bathroom and screamed in the baby bouncer while I had a shower and got ready.
I remember thinking why didn't I just do that first time round.

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 18:06

What is PA?

OP posts:

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 18:07

Passive aggressive

formerbabe · 10/02/2017 18:07

PA as fuck!

quite. I'm not in the least bit angry fwiw or have anything to get off my chest!

Anyway...Op, I hope your DD feels better soon.

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 18:08

Victory!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 10/02/2017 18:09

It probably means passive-aggressive, and I totally agree. All that stuff about saying "are you angry...do you want to talk about something? We're here to help" etc etc. Sorry but I think that's got an unpleasant undertone to it, and definitely passive aggressive.

Anyway, it's fine saying just get in the shower etc, but when you've got a small child to look after, simple things like getting in the shower and grabbing something to eat can sometimes feel like a big hurdle. I've been there myself. When DS was 9 months and going through his clingy phase I felt like I couldn't leave him for a single second.

OneWithTheForce · 10/02/2017 18:13

How do you go to the toilet if you can't leave your babies?

Yoshimihere · 10/02/2017 18:15

Selfishly i really needed a shower and a blow dry to feel human and on top of things.

I wasn't single when my two were tiny but my ex was out from 7am-8pm so I did everything by myself. And when there are two sometimes the baby does just have to cry a little. So I do agree with treacle and formerbabe etc.

But I definitely still remember those occasional days when I just couldn't make it work. When I couldn't find a minute to do anything and couldn't leave my child to cry. Usually when I/baby was tired.

I hope you get to have a lovely long shower tonight OP.

These days my DC seem to find a reason to scrap every time I'm in the shower. I'm always peace negotiating or yelling to the toddler to stop hitting his brother whilst trying to wash.

Original poster

mymilisbatshit · 10/02/2017 18:16

Oh it certainty wasn't meant to sound that way at all. I wanted to be rude to someone I would take a more direct approach but that is not my intention. I just feel that in my own experience I would only get annoyed by something a total stranger said if I had stuff going on in my own mind and is it not true that we are all here to support each other? that was all I meant by it I didn't mean to cause offence or come across passive aggressive as you say.

Yeah it sometimes does feel hard my BIGGEST one the one I absolutely hate is stopping off in the shop on my way home from somewhere for something like milk it just feels like the biggest chore in the whole world! I have to park, unstrap her, carry her (no point in setting up the buggy to run into 1 shop) get the milk come back out strap her in then drive home then unstrap again and carry her and the milk up all the steps! I dont mind if I just pop to the shop but if I have been out all day and OH hits me with a text on my way back to pick something up I swear I die a little inside haha!

OP posts:

Yoshimihere · 10/02/2017 18:17

How do you go to the toilet if you can't leave your babies?
Am i the only one who has sat on the toilet holding the baby?

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 18:18

OneWithTheForce:

If she is asleep I just go. If she is awake I wait for a cheerful moment then I just go. If there is no cheerful moment I put her on a mat outside the loo.

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