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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it worth even asking headteacher for time off?

31 replies

SirMixAlott · 10/02/2017 15:13

My youngest son is 5 and never been on holiday. We have days out in the summer and camp out in nan's garden but he's never been away.

We simply can't afford it. DH is on disability and thibgs are always tight. Time just passes and we never seem to be able to save.

My mum has very kindly offered to pay for a holiday for us. Her friend own a caravan on a site near a popular holiday spit and has said she will pay for it (upto a limit)

Unfortunately the holiday in school holiday dates are double the limit she set so we have little option but to have time off school.

It would be our first holiday in 6 years.

We would miss 5 school days. Children are all primary age. Not SAT time.

Kids all have very good attendance and excellent school reports.

Headteacher is a bit of a stickler though.

Is it worth even asking or should I say we all have some gastrointestinal monstrosity?

OP posts:

Original poster

SirMixAlott · 10/02/2017 15:15

And before the suggestion is made we add to it to go in holiday time, we still have to pay for transport (train) food, activities the likes whilst there. If we made up the caravan price would would have to find £500 on top of that to go in the 6 weeks hols!

OP posts:

mummymeister · 10/02/2017 15:15

don't lie about it, this is never the way to go. get the request for time off form and fill it in stating what you have above about the disability issue in your family. if its refused then its highly unlikely that you will be fined.

hopefully though the head will have a bit of compassion and see that you need a break and couldn't have one ordinarily.

just go, enjoy your family time and have fun.

AndShesGone · 10/02/2017 15:16

Don't lie, the children will talk about the holiday

If the holiday is free you could pay the fine if you got one?

mygrandchildrenrock · 10/02/2017 15:16

Ask because your children will want to talk about their holiday when they are back at school. The worst that can happen is the absence is unauthorised. There won't be any more fines. (Ps I'm a Headteacher!)

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 10/02/2017 15:16

Will she only pay for you to have a holiday in that caravan? Or could you find a cheaper holiday - say camping, or something - that you could go on during the school holidays and still be within her budget?

Beeziekn33ze · 10/02/2017 15:19

I hope the head uses the discretion they still have. Many seem to have forget that they have that discretion and prefer to say 'No' to everyone. Hope you get your holiday!

Original poster

SirMixAlott · 10/02/2017 15:20

I've been looking everywhere. We can't camp due to DHs issues. He wouldn't be able to sleep on the floor. Everywhere is way over budget and mums friend is doing a good deal because it is out of school holidays. The price is massively increased.

I see your point about them talking about it 😂

They know about our situation and are always very good with us.

I will get a form and fill it out. Hope for the best

OP posts:

harderandharder2breathe · 10/02/2017 16:09

Good luck OP!

I agree with being honest but in your situation even if permission is refused I would go anyway and accept the unauthorised absence

Flisstizzy · 10/02/2017 16:11

Definitely ask, you might be pleasantly surprised.

breakfastnotattiffanys · 10/02/2017 16:12

Check your local authority policy on term time holidays. Ours says all absences for hols will be unauthorised but no fine will be given unless over 6 school days in any 12 week rolling period....

breakfastnotattiffanys · 10/02/2017 16:13

Check your local authority policy on term time holidays. Ours says all absences for hols will be unauthorised but no fine will be given unless over 6 school days in any 12 week rolling period....

breakfastnotattiffanys · 10/02/2017 16:17

Fixed Penalty Notice Triggers
If your child has accrued 7 days or more of unauthorised absence in a minimum 12 rolling school
week period, you could receive:
 A warning - requiring you to ensure no further unauthorised absences occur in a 15 school day monitoring period, otherwise you would receive a fine.
 A fixed penalty notice - the warning period does not apply to notices issued due to leave of absence in term time taken without permission, or other parentally condoned absence.

Trifleorbust · 10/02/2017 16:27

I think the line in the sand for a fine is further in than 5 days of absence. Do ask, but be tactful when you say you are going anyway!

SecondsLeft · 10/02/2017 16:27

They might not be able to authorise it, but it doesn't necessarily mean they mind or disagree. You might get a standard letter. You could get a fine, but I understand this is happening less currently? I agree with being honest.

Wolfiefan · 10/02/2017 16:34

I would be honest and ask. I generally think that children shouldn't have time out of school for holidays. (I know too many parents who do this very regularly and know it disrupts learning and makes things harder for the teacher when kids are in and out of lessons.)
But this IS an exceptional circumstance. Never had a family holiday and disabled parent meaning truly cheap as chips camping etc out. It's a special opportunity for your family and a chance to make really special memories. Plus you say attendance is good etc.
Enjoy!

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 16:36

Don't ask, tell. It's your family and your life, its not the headteachers decision what you do.

forceslover · 10/02/2017 16:47

Just go and enjoy, tell the school a couple of days before you are due to go. I never ask, I just tell, sometimes it's authorised, other down as not, it's not a big issue.

Artandco · 10/02/2017 16:51

I always tell rather than ask also

Dear mr x. Child a and b will be absent from school from Monday x to Friday y inclusive due to family circumstances. Thank you for your understanding. Child a and b parent

ShatnersBassoon · 10/02/2017 16:54

Ask one of the other families who've been on holiday in term time (there is bound to be some) what the score was.

Funnyonion17 · 10/02/2017 16:57

I had a trip to Wales authorised once. I needed to attend a funeral and had no childcare, so went and stayed with relatives for 5 days.

ElderDruid · 10/02/2017 17:02

I would say it's worth a go, the worst is the HT says no. But advise funds are low, your DH is disabled so you need to fit the holiday in around appointments. It would be a massive blessing to get away, plus as DC hasn't been on holiday before it's a whole new life experience.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 17:15

Why should she beg by telling all her private circumstances to the HT? No way.

Creampastry · 10/02/2017 17:50

Explain to the headteacher but tell her it's a fine deal. Enjoy!

SalmonFajitas · 10/02/2017 17:56

I'd definitely take the holiday in your situation (and I'm usually a bit abutter time holidays). I probably wouldn't lie about it though. You won't get a fine but it will be unauthorised.

Strictly1 · 10/02/2017 18:01

I never authorise but I always wish them a lovely holiday. HTs are human too!

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