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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I could work from home with a brand new baby?

337 replies

SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 13:14

Just mulling over a few ideas to keep the funds coming in whilst at home.

Is it possible, or am I living in cloud cuckoo land?

Would be grateful to hear from any stay-at-home mums who also manage to work from home.

Any hints, tips, experiences, advice would be most appreciated.

OP posts:
Datun · 10/02/2017 18:29

IF all your stars line up in a row, like a good baby, not having to do the rest of the domestic work yourself (food, shopping, dinner, cleaning), if he/she sleeps well, then it is possible, as testaments on here show.

Possible, but difficult.

Once they are moving around, impossible. You have to watch them like a hawk.

If your baby sticks to a schedule might it be possible to get some kind of in-house care either end of a nap one or two days a week?

A two hour nap followed by three hours of childcare would give you 10 hours a week. With little disadvantage to your baby and a fair stab at being able to concentrate, focus and be productive.

londonrach · 10/02/2017 18:30

Laughs!!!!!

londonrach · 10/02/2017 18:30

Sorry still laughing!

londonrach · 10/02/2017 18:33

Op i had so many plans prior to dd 6 months. She soon educated me. Dont plan anything! Getting dressed in a major achievement. Getting out of the house before 12pm! An oscar. Its the most amazing experience ever and the greatest love of your life.....but everything you think you can do...forget it. Live day by day....

NutButterNutter · 10/02/2017 18:34

I went back to work at home 10 weeks ago when tiniest was 2 months old. I only work when she's either asleep or happy playing and manage to do part time hours like that. Don't expect long periods of concentration, have a nap with baby first thing in the morning so you're not too knackered and be prepared to work late evening once they're settled especially if you've got older siblings to feed etc. I'd probably have delayed starting to about now if I hadn't already lined stuff up before I went on mat leave as I do slightly resent having to work...
It's nicer than having to go back to an in-house job, though, which I did with my older 3.

NutButterNutter · 10/02/2017 18:35

Also, I don't know wtf I'm going to do when she crawls and more Confused

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 18:38

Depressing that women are telling another woman; hey lower your expectations, don't even try, you'll never be able for this, its not possible, you're crazy for even wanting to, don't be ridiculous......

How about hey, wait and see, maybe it will work out, if you want to enough why not try, etc?

gwenneh · 10/02/2017 18:43

I did it, from the time my older DS was about 4 months. And I still do it, six years (and another DS) later. :)

My job allows for me to basically work whenever, so I work in 2-hour chunks throughout the day. Usually they wind up being mostly in the morning (between 5 am and 3 pm) so when DS1 gets in from school I can focus on just them.

2 hours is about the limit of attention for my younger DS, too!

We do a lot of freezer/crock pot meals and have a cleaner to take care of most of the housework. The upper level of the house is extremely baby-proof and open concept so as I sit here I can see what my DS is up to.

Conference calls can get a bit tricky, and I usually try to schedule those at the beginning of a 2 hour block, but there have been times when we've had to reschedule because of an uncooperative child. This was easier when the boys were smaller and I could have them in the sling/baby bouncer/swing during calls!

I'm not saying it's all paradise and rainbows it isn't, especially when deadlines loom and I suddenly have to work all night because nothing got done during the day but it's definitely do-able.

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 18:43

Depressing that women are telling another woman; hey lower your expectations, don't even try, you'll never be able for this, its not possible, you're crazy for even wanting to, don't be ridiculous…..

Nobody is telling the OP that!
Nobody is telling her not to work from home
They are telling her not to work from home without childcare!
I don't know any men who work from home without childcare/their partner home to watch the kids, while their working

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 18:48

They are actually. They are telling her that her idea is impossible and laughable and that she's a fool for even thinking its possible.

Which is not nice.

BettyOBarley · 10/02/2017 18:56

I have a 4 month old who doesn't nap for more than 20 mins and only goes to sleep properly at night when we go to bed ourselves, so on that basis I would say no....

Saying that, I did manage to run a part time wedding stationery business when my DD was a baby but it was only pocket money really and she was a good sleeper so I did it on an evening. It depends what you're thinking of doing really.

notyourmummy · 10/02/2017 18:56

I worked from home until I went into labour and then from when baby was 10 weeks old. But I only did about 4 hours a day, mainly after laddo had gone to bed. It was hard, but family business so didn't have a choice really.

TinselTwins · 10/02/2017 18:56

She's not a fool for thinking it or asking it, she asked because she doesn't know what working from home while looking after a baby is like. nor are posters mean for telling the OP what it can be like in reality.

farfarawayfromhome · 10/02/2017 19:00

OP to your recent question, we have a live in nanny and have done since DD was two months old. It definitely helped with picking up the slack and she does the housework, which is amazing.

BUT a lot do the time when DD was tiny I was juts so exhausted that I needed to sleep for
an hour whilst she took DD. Plus as she got bigger, she was too noisy and distracting to work.

Plus if DD knew I was in the house she would come looking for me. We run three businesses between us and I get the most work done when DD is physically not in the house, or I am out of it.

bruffin · 10/02/2017 19:04

i did it from whe dd was 6 months and ds was 2 for 11 years. Its perfectly possible. I did accounts work for a charity 20 hours a week.
interestly my male bosses were far more supportive than my female bosses.

Datun · 10/02/2017 19:04

narky

The posters who are saying it is impossible and she is crazy, are very lightly those for whom it would have been and think it is.

Like a lot of these posts, the OP is looking for a balanced response.

And that is exactly what she's getting. For most people, on balance it's possible but difficult.

At either ends of the scale some are saying it's totally doable and some are saying it's madness.

I think what the OP is hearing is that it's all dependent upon your domestic set up and the calmness or otherwise of your baby.

Which I think is probably about right!

JellyWitch · 10/02/2017 19:09

Not with a baby or child under school age.

I manage around a 7 year old after school and in holidays and have done since he was 5; the toddler goes to nursery.

skerrywind · 10/02/2017 19:09

I have to say tiredness or lack of sleep was never an issue- I co slept with my babies, and I was never short of sleep.

staywoke · 10/02/2017 19:15

I managed 3 a levels at home with newborn dd2 but I don't think she's cried since the day she was born and slept 13 hours a night from 3 months HOWEVER I could hardly change my knickers in the morning with dd1 and couldn't function properly for at least a year as she cried non stop 20 hours a day.

You're not crazy op and the idea is not ridiculous. It depends entirely on how calm your baby is in my opinion, only time will tell! Hope it works out well for you Flowers

glueandstick · 10/02/2017 19:22

If you're thinking about a nanny, do it. Would be so much easier so long as you have plenty of space and could be separate.

Do not underestimate being tired as something that kills creativity or desire to do anything.

Datun · 10/02/2017 19:22

stay

I had it the other way around. The first one slept like he was drugged and never cried. I could almost guarantee an hour and a half of him kipping after every breastfeed.

The second one only slept and ate once every three days.

Funny enough now they are late teens and early 20s, it's exactly the same. The first one sleeps for England and constantly opens the fridge, and the second one has 'protein rich' fads but can stay up all night revising (at the last minute, obviously).

EurusHolmesViolin · 10/02/2017 19:39

It would be contract work, writing reports basically on an ad-hoc basis. So not every day 9-5. Entirely flexible and no conference calls either.

That sounds potentially doable, at least to some extent. Obviously the lower the number of hours you're talking, the easier it will be likely to be, because it will be more fit-able round your partner's work. I would assume a period of perhaps a few weeks after the birth where your head is too mashed for much. Plan for that, and that way if you're ok earlier it will be a bonus.

In terms of at home childcare while you work in a study, I would say this is likely to be easier with a baby than a toddler. Toddlers have a nasty habit of being able to come and find you if they know you're in. Little babies less so. I would not fancy doing much more than bits and bobs whilst in sole care of a baby. Even when they sleep, and mine often did for decent periods, it's hard to be 'on' when they could wake up at any minute. Little bits of things, yes, but proper concentration is much harder.

gwenneh · 10/02/2017 19:45

That does sound similar to what I do, OP. :) And it's worked for me, through one angelic long-sleeping baby and one not-so-angelic constantly awake baby.

deadpool99 · 10/02/2017 19:57

It would be contract work, writing reports basically on an ad-hoc basis. So not every day 9-5. Entirely flexible and no conference calls either.

It really depends on how easy your baby is and how the birth takes a toll on you, how much sleep you are getting, how much help you have etc. Based on my past experience, i've been able to do alot less than i expected to and that's after 9 years, and struggled just to have a shower with my first child due to the constant crying and reflux. Second baby much easier until toddlerhood. However, I think you will know once baby is here as to whether you can do it.

SchoolNightWine · 10/02/2017 20:00

I don't think it's anything to do with how your baby is, but it's how you are and how important it is to get the work done - can you cope with lack of sleep, are you a determined (stubborn) person who will make something work (at the risk of looking after yourself properly), does your work have to be done by a certain date so you have no choice but to get on with it?
I had an ebf baby who didn't sleep at all unless he was pushed, rocked or cuddled, but managed to do payroll 2 days after he was born because I'm self employed and it had to be done. I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual deadlines and all had to be met without fail, so the bulk of my work was done in the evenings/early hours when my ds could sleep on my husband's chest.
I'm lucky that I don't need much sleep, but I was worried about my health at times. I did the same 2 years later and got through it again, although did get a cleaner and ironing lady for a year that time (definitely recommended if you can afford it!). Now they're at school I have the bonus of no childcare costs and can be totally flexible as long as the work gets done at some point in the day.
So yes, it absolutely can be done, but really depends on you and your determination.
Oh, and I also think it's easier to do it if you don't have any break beforehand - much harder to get back in the swing of work after a break. Good luck if you decide to go ahead:-)