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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I could work from home with a brand new baby?

337 replies

SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 13:14

Just mulling over a few ideas to keep the funds coming in whilst at home.

Is it possible, or am I living in cloud cuckoo land?

Would be grateful to hear from any stay-at-home mums who also manage to work from home.

Any hints, tips, experiences, advice would be most appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 22:20

Hatebeak - that last comment made me roar with laughter! x

OP posts:
MsJamieFraser · 10/02/2017 22:21

Depends on the circumstances and the child, I could but know many who couldn't.

CurlsandCurves · 10/02/2017 22:24

My cousin had her baby on a Saturday and did a clients hair on the Monday! This was for a friend who was off on holiday and she felt she couldn't let her down (baby was early).

She was back working for herself 3 weeks later tho.

bruffin · 10/02/2017 22:27

no idea Assassinated

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/02/2017 22:31

Oh, I was hoping you had a theory.

BIWI · 10/02/2017 22:31

Fuck me. Just because people are pointing that out it might be harder/less manageable than the OP is imagining does not mean that people are being unsupportive!

SingingSandwich · 10/02/2017 22:32

I could easily have worked from home with my first child. She was an absolute angel - slept well and was perfectly contented almost all of the time.
DD2 wasn't too bad but if you get a baby like my third, you'll not even be able to visit the toilet :( He had to be held chest to chest by one of us, ALL OF THE TIME, for the first three months otherwise he'd scream and scream and scream. It was absolute hell and I looked like a walking corpse during that time.

So, in summary, it really depends on what sort of baby you get! You might be absolutely fine!

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 22:36

Fuck me. Just because people are pointing that out it might be harder/less manageable than the OP is imagining does not mean that people are being unsupportive!

Um, no. Have you read them all? The ones pointing out it may be hard may be supportive, but the ones that are being dickish about it are certainly not.

There are many who are not pointing out it may be harder than she imagines, that would be fine, they are saying it is NOT possible, or a stupid idea, or laughable.
Honestly, do you think I am making up posts to respond to? There are LOADS of them, you can't have missed them all!

gluteustothemaximus · 10/02/2017 22:43

Depends on the work and depends on the baby.

I've been self employed for 15 years, and worked with all 3 babies.

Not always been easy, but I have got better at doing things with one hand Grin

Housework suffers, but kids are happy, and I love working. Can't always have everything!

You can be as organised as you like though, if your baby wants to be on you all the time, that can make life difficult. For me, not an issue as my work is all computer based and baby can sleep/feed while I work.

JigglyTuff · 10/02/2017 22:45

Well the OP was talking about a brand new baby. Which I'm imagining is under 3 months so no, I don't really think that's possible. Or very kind - to yourself or to the baby.

Personally, I believe the 4th trimester is a really important time in a newborn's life and trying to do it with a laptop balanced on your knee and a mouse in one hand is probably a bit crap for everyone involved.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/02/2017 22:49

For those wondering what they'll do with a crawling baby, get a playpen! You can get "flexible fencing" to build bigger ones (if you can afford it). I managed to keep both of mine out of trouble til they were about 1y old in a playpen (mine was quite big).

It's not about being unsupportive - what the fuck would be the point of us all going "yeah hun, you go for it, you'll be fiiine"? - we're giving our experience and whether or not it worked FOR US under the circumstances we lived with. And some of us managed it, and some of us didn't do so well.
Yes there are some posters who think/ found it impossible - that's their experience. Cross section of opinion. I'm sure the OP Is able to work out that people have different ideas on the subject.

I also needed the input of the husband to remove the small child while I was editing a large project - I really really needed large blocks of time to concentrate and just couldn't do it with said small child in the vicinity.

No experience of a nanny though - but it might work if you can get her/him to take the child out for a few hours at the time. :)

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 22:49

Well the OP was talking about a brand new baby. Which I'm imagining is under 3 months so no, I don't really think that's possible. Or very kind - to yourself or to the baby

See?

bruffin · 10/02/2017 22:50

i did it from when dd was 6 weeks jigglytuff. worked late at night when both dc were asleep etc. Ds went to nursery 2 or 3 days a week, dd went when sh was 2. As long as i hit my deadlines my finance manager didnt care when i worked.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 22:52

It's not about being unsupportive - what the fuck would be the point of us all going "yeah hun, you go for it, you'll be fiiine"? - we're giving our experience and whether or not it worked FOR US under the circumstances we lived with. And some of us managed it, and some of us didn't do so well

Giving your experience is not the same thing as telling someone else that they can't possibly do some thing because you couldn't do it. Nobody wants you to say "it'll be fine". There is a good chance it won't be.

Are people seriously unable to see the difference between it didn't/wouldn't have worked for ME because of A, B and C and don't be a tit, of course YOU won't be able to do that, its not possible for anyone

They are quite different things!

MrsNuckyThompson · 10/02/2017 22:52

If you are employed by someone else then it is completely unfair to with whilst looking after your child. If you work for yourself I guess it's your look out!

I often work from home while our nanny is here. But I genuinely work so am shut away in my office for the vast majority of the day only emerging for loo breaks, drinks and lunch.

gluteustothemaximus · 10/02/2017 22:56

None of my babies suffered at all Confused

Have never tried balancing a laptop on my knee. But if I did, I'd probably use the track pad, and not a separate mouse. That would make it even harder with all the knee balancing Grin

Original poster
SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 22:58

'Completely unfair'? Not if I've spoken to them in advance - one would have thought....

OP posts:
bruffin · 10/02/2017 22:58

mrsnucky
i was employed, it was employrrs idea i worked from because he wanted to keep me. He didnt care how or when i worked as long as it got done well..

Original poster
SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 22:59

gluteustothemaximus - like your style ;)

OP posts:
NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 22:59

It's only unfair to them if they don't get the promised work at the promised time. If they do, why would they care what your arrangements are with your child (unless your contract mentions it specifically)?

phoenix1973 · 10/02/2017 23:03

Depends on how flexibly you are allowed to work.

My baby did not nap until she started walking at 1 so wore herself out.

As for toddlers, forget it! Unless you can work around naps and in the evening when they are in bed.
As I said, mine didn't nap until 1 and only for 30 mins. So you need to allow for that.

Original poster
SanitysSake · 10/02/2017 23:50

I'm thankfully being allowed to work flexibly... but it's about, I guess, how much the baby needs me to be 'present'. Of course, again, it depends on whether the baby needs to sleep or doesn't at all. And could I stay awake when the baby is around to allow me to work?

What 'toys' (rockers) could I buy to facilitate this?

I have averaged sub 4 hours sleep for the whole pregnancy and prior to that, never got more than 6... so I'm capable of working on little sleep. I do, however, tend to work better in in-extremis situations...and have done for years. Just wondering whether this is a feasible approach for a little one...

Or will it just kill me on the emotional front.. which is something I clearly have yet to experience...

OP posts:
BackforGood · 11/02/2017 00:31

^.....they are saying it is NOT possible, or a stupid idea, or laughable.
Honestly, do you think I am making up posts to respond to? There are LOADS of them, you can't have missed them all!^

....So, why do you think SO MANY people are saying it's impossible then?
It seems that you clearly were gifted 2 easy babies and have a job which can be extremely flexible. Other people are giving their experiences. The % of people who are advising OP to not even think it is possible, presumably reflects the fact that, statistically, it is unlikely she will be able to do this.

Before I had dc1, I naively thought life would carry on pretty much as normal - babies sleep a lot after all don't they ??? Blush. Lots and lots of posters are telling you they are usually all consuming of every bit of your time and energy. This is why people normally have a min of 3 months maternity leave.
People get cross about people saying they are 'working from home' when they are in fact looking after a baby, because it is behaving like that that makes employers cautious about letting employees work from home.
Many posters have said that if you have a very flexible, 'piece work' sort of a job that you can pick up and do bits of here and there, there might be a chance to get some bits done, but, for 99% of parents, when you have a small baby, there are not 40 odd hours spare in the week to do anything you need to concentrate on.

SchoolNightWine · 11/02/2017 00:57

"It seems that you clearly were gifted 2 easy babies and have a job which can be extremely flexible. Other people are giving their experiences. The % of people who are advising OP to not even think it is possible, presumably reflects the fact that, statistically, it is unlikely she will be able to do this."

The vast majority of posters telling the OP that it's impossible aren't saying they have tried it, just that they don't believe they could have done it with their babies/lack of sleep/situations.

If you have decided to put yourself in the situation of working when your babies are tiny and you have to meet a deadline, you do everything you can to make that happen, regardless of how little sleep you have had, how clingy you baby is, etc and just get on with it.
In the same way that most of us probably wondered how on earth we'd cope with a toddler and a newborn when pregnant with our second - you do what you have to, and make it work.

SchoolNightWine · 11/02/2017 00:59

"I have averaged sub 4 hours sleep for the whole pregnancy and prior to that, never got more than 6... so I'm capable of working on little sleep. I do, however, tend to work better in in-extremis situations...and have done for years. Just wondering whether this is a feasible approach for a little one..."

OP - your sleep pattern sounds like mine so I'm thinking you'll be fine!!