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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Percentile dropping - am I a terrible mother?

64 replies

Caenea · 10/02/2017 10:40

This might get quite long...

My baby had her three month HV visit on Wednesday - and between the six week check and now she's dropped from the 75th centile right down to the 25th.

HV has said it's probably because she's been sleeping hilariously well the last few weeks - once we got past a blip when she first went into her cot, she's basically slept 9.00pm - 6am without waking up to feed.

Plus she only feeds every three hours in the day. They've said I need to stop letting her sleep and wake her up at night every four hours max to feed her and try and feed her more often in the day.

She's EBF and I can't force her to feed! If I offer her the breast when she isn't hungry she just screams and pushes me back - am I meant to force it into her mouth while she fights and howls?? Plus if I can make her take it she invariably just possets it right back up.

I've been obsessing since Wednesday now - is there something horribly wrong with her? Should I have noticed? Even the HV said she seems a happy, thriving baby - lovely colour, alert, smiling, kicking etc.

I don't think she's losst weight - she's just not putting enough on. My OH says he doesn't think I should worry but this cannot be normal. Am I awful for not knowing she shouldn't sleep? AIBU to not try and forcefeed her? Surely if she was hungry at night I'd bloody know it? Could she be dreadfully ill without me knowing??

OP posts:
JJbum · 11/02/2017 20:46

Some babies (mine) drop a centile or two in the early months. It can be fine and normal and nothing to worry about.

However, the repeated assertions in here that the baby wouldn't sleep if hungry are dangerous and wrong. Sometimes a baby sleeping lots is a sign they are not getting enough calories. The baby sleeps because it conserves energy. Once the feeding issue is resolved the baby becomes more wakeful. I am not saying that is the case here but I wanted to point it out.

Is there a bf group near you OP? Or a lactation consultation (an IBCLC one) you could see? You should get much better advice there, from someone who can see your baby, watch a feed, etc, than you will online or from your HV or GP.

KarmaNoMore · 12/02/2017 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiktok · 12/02/2017 11:58

Technically, the OP's baby has dropped two centile spaces on the chart - that's how it is expressed and assessed.

Up to two centile spaces is considered normal. It makes sense to be aware of this and just ensure a baby who has dropped two centile spaces has every opportunity to take as much breastmilk as he needs.

Individualising you'd be more concerned about a baby who'd started off very small and continued to fall through spaces - like babies who start off on the 9th centile for example.

Most babies who go from 75th to 25th are just fine.

mrsplum2015 · 12/02/2017 12:04

Try not to worry and overreact. My dc3 was borderline failure to thrive in early days and weeks. As a result she was on formula top ups etc and is now classified as obese at 3.5 years 😯
My older 2 dc are as skinny as rakes and my dh and I are in healthy bmi so I hope I haven't overfed dc3 to her long term detriment...

EdenX · 12/02/2017 12:05

My oldest was born on the 75th, dropped to the 25th by 3-4 months and now aged 6 is more like 9th! He's just meant to be slim.

My youngest was born on the 75th and has stayed there.

I fed them both the same way, on demand, but they are just very different builds.

corythatwas · 12/02/2017 12:08

What JJbum and tiktok said.

Basically, sounds like the OP's baby is fine; her size and alertness sound very reassuring.

But it would be worrying if the parents of a much smaller baby who was losing weight were led by this thread to think s/he had to be ok just because she slept a lot.

My dd went from 9th centile to close to the bottom centile. She appeared perfectly content (as in not grizzling or screaming), she just got sleepier and sleepier. She was admitted to hospital with malnutrition and it was a slow and laborious climb up to health and wellbeing.

Looking back at the photos taken at the time, I can't see how I didn't spot that her ribs were showing and she was starving. But I so totally believed that a child who was breastfed on demand, latched on correctly frequently and appeared "content" couldn't be malnourished.

backtowork2015 · 12/02/2017 16:25

Don't wake a sleeping baby

quietbatperson · 12/02/2017 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Caenea · 13/02/2017 15:52

Hello all and thank you for the responses!

For the time being I'm sticking to the HV advise and waking her and she doesn't seem to hate me too much for it. There's no sound when she's nursing and I can feel her sucking, but she does often pull off mid feed to grizzle before going back on.

I've made a list of stuff to talk about at the clinic so I hope someone will have the time to talk to me. There is a breastfeeding cafe but I don't drive (legally not allowed to, piss-poor eyesight) and it's a ballache trying to get there on the bus and there's nothing in the village where I live. Does anyone know if there's a support group willing to do home visits to discuss the feeding side of things?

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 13/02/2017 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Applesandpears23 · 13/02/2017 19:16

I would try calling the La Leche League helpline and asking if there's a group near you. It is breastfeeding support independent from NHS so they may be able to suggest different groups.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/02/2017 21:20

If you contact your HV they will probably have a number of a breast feeding support group who do home visits.

I used one when I was really struggling to breast feed DS when he was about 8 weeks, it was a company that consisted of volunteers who had breast fed themselves and who wanted to help women who had any problems. One day m I rang their helpline in tears and the next day they sent a peer supporter round to see me. She stayed for a few hours, watched me feed, listened to me talk, gave me a hug when I cried etc, she was so reassuring and helped me so, so much.

Original poster
Caenea · 15/02/2017 11:37

Thanks again all Smile

Today is d day clinic day so I guess we'll see! She was up every two hours last night to feed (god knows where that came from) so the thing is I know she does wake if she's hungry, but some nights she doesn't. Anyway, i suppose we'll see what they say at clinic but I'm definitely going to bring up the tongue tie. If they don't have time to speak to me in depth - and I;d completely understand if they wouldn't as it's just a run-of-the-mill drop in clinic thing - I'll get a GP appt and talk to them.

Still feeling a bit down about it but hopefully today there'll be good news!

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 15/02/2017 18:57

How did it go?

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