to ask any Scottish parents of teens who were deferred starting school if the benefits have been significant

[HottySnanky]

Am posting in AIBU for traffic.

DD1 has just turned 4 and we cannot decide whether to defer her starting school. She's bright and sociable and independent, so I have no worries about whether she would cope in P1 if she went in August - she'd probably get bored by the end of another year in nursery though. She's also very wilful and stubborn and enjoys pushing boundaries... I know her character is still developing, and that she's just four, and I don't want to pigeonhole her, but I'm just wondering if another year under her belt would benefit her in the long run.

If anyone who had the choice to defer their now-teen dc could share their thoughts and experiences of deferral or otherwise, it'd be much appreciated.

Thanks!

I'm aware it is more common now but that it has been ongoing for years.
Dd16 has a June birthday but her close friends are March and May and it's interesting that in the accelerated learning classes there are no pupils younger than summer born at all. There are two February boys who were deferred though, both top of their year in age and ability as both just turned 17.

I honestly can't see it being a drawback and even if a child can read and write at nursery if they're learning at their own pace then that's good for them to experience that "growth mindset" of learning because they want to not at a given rate...

You are right to ask about teens -- most kids cope fine with early primary but the trouble starts when math gets harder (fractions) or with puberty.

I don't have a teen (yet) but in my primary years (in New York) parents could defer. My mother was a secondary school teacher and noted every year that the most successful students were the oldest kids in the class.

My dd has a November birthday and we moved from New York to New Jersey to avoid her starting school at four. NYC no longer allows deferrals and the cutoff in NJ is earlier. I am so glad she had another year of pure childhood.

I think the trend is the same in the UK -- academic pressure starts early, developmentally inappropriate material (too advanced), and homework starts in kindergarten (reception)! Madness. So the choice was clear for us.

My deferred DC is in S1. The majority of people I knew with kids with Jan/Feb birthdays deferred. It was more unusual not to. DC would have been fine academically but it has been better for him socially and will mean he is making decisions about subject choices etc a year older, which is a definite benefit.

I know loads of parents who deferred and everyone has said it has been the right decision.

I was not deferred and my mother has always said that if she had the time again she would have waited another year. She thinks by the time secondary school rolled round that I was too young for it.

I don't think so, Euphemia. It's quite a big primary school, they've got three P1 classes at the moment.

Loads of interesting responses here, I am convinced that deferral will be better for her in the long run.

It's a very hard one as other factors come into play but this is my experience (I'm much much older than teenager though!)

I went to school in Scotland until 11 when we moved to England. February birthday so I was one of the youngest in my year - deferral wasn't really a thing then, or maybe it was my area - I didn't know anyone who deferred. I did do a term of half days though - I think all the youngest ones did.
Academically I never struggled and was always say at the 'top table'. I think I would have found some parts of work a bit easy if I'd been in the class below. For some reason we were a really big year and we had too many children in our year so had big class sizes so one year those young ones of us were separated and taught with the oldest ones from the year below. I was very bored that year (must have been a nightmare for our teacher!). I guess it was a trial as they only did that the one year and didn't continue it.

So academically I was fine BUT I was incredably shy. Would hardly say a word in class.
Then at nearly 12 I moved to England and as the academic years run separately I was in the middle of the year for age. I came out my shell massively. Maybe it would have happened anyway, maybe the move gave me confidence, or maybe I was no longer intimidated by everyone being older. I was selected for a lot of the school sports teams. I know if you are naturally talented youll be selected anyway but I wasn't great, but just on the borderline of just being good enough so age/strength did matter.

So for me being in the middle rather than youngest in the year gave me a much more fulfilling time.

For this reason I may try to hold my daughter back a year (late August birthday). I'll make a call nearer the time but id love her to have the option.

I work in P1. We have a lot of "rising fives" and the biggest problem is they get incredibly tired and can't really sustain a whole day at school in the first couple of terms. This leads to a lot of absence and we can't get EWO involved because they don't legally have to attend school as a rising five. Some struggle socially and get very emotional. I think deferring is sensible in most cases.

Don't overthink it, go with your gut feeling.

We deferred ds(12) and believe it was the right decision. The nursery said he was more than ready to go, but the choice of being youngest in class vs oldest is a no brainer.

ds started school at 5.5 yrs old and he was still knackered at the end of day, I don't know how 4.5 yrs old cope with it!

Being the oldest I believe he had more opportunities than he personally would have had if he had been the youngest, a couple of awards, some speaking lines in plays (not lead parts as its not really his thing), pupil council, eco council etc. This increased his confidence and he sailed through primary.

Now he is in secondary he is coping well with the demands and organising his homework. In some ways he seems more mature with this than his classmates. I think it will hold him in good stead for secondary, his exams and choices when leaving school.

Its also allowed him to be younger for longer, they grow up too quickly now, he isn't getting pressure to act older as his friends are mostly younger.

He has never been mocked or bullied for being deferred as he can confidently say it was only a few days difference and his mum was allowed to decide. Deferral is so common in Scotland it is not an issue (that I have ever seen).

If your child is ready, she could go into P1 at 4, but it is better for them to have the extra year. A child who is a year younger than everyone else will, at some point in their lives, stop and catch up that year. It might be sooner - someone I knew at school got accepted to university, but when he arrived there was unable to go in. He spent a year loafing around, then picked himself up and got a fantastic job. I know someone else who went to uni at 17 and had a year out at almost 50 when they took voluntary redundancy. There is always that need to catch up on the missed year, so please, let your child stay another year in nursery.