To be so angry over £200

[Maisy84]

I asked my partner to transfer money that he owes our joint account on Sunday eve, he promised to do it first thing in morning from office, I asked him Monday night if he had as we are really low in there - he apologised and said he would do it the next day. I asked him Tuesday lunchtime and he said I'll do it when I get back to the office. Just asked him if he'd done it now and he said no. No apology. He doesn't have finance issues but our joint account (used to pay our bills, food and children's clothes) really does. I'm so sick and tired of repeatedly asking him to do stuff, this isn't the first time, to be let down again and again. I don't have the fucking energy for it. It's ridiculous but the situation is just making me think do I actually want to live with this total lack of reliability and respect for the rest of my life? Not really.

Your DH doesn't sound financially abusive - just a bit crap generally, which can be extremely wearing.

From your post at 9.34 yesterday, it sounds as though he is open to doing things differently. As others have suggested, you could set up a joint account and both pay your salaries into there - all family spending (including childcare and mortgage) come out of there, then you set up a monthly SO for the same amount into your each of your some accounts as your own discretionary spending.

It sounds a bit of a faff but it only involves setting one joint account, then giving your new bank details to your employers. It will stop the financial inequality that you have at the moment. Would he be up for that?